Tell me honestly how bad the ''ring of fire'' is

[afternoontea86]

Expecting 3rd baby in mid December. First two I had an epidural and didn't feel a thing but for this one I've decided I want a natural birth. Friend told me she felt like her whole bum was ripping in two and was screaming bloody murder according to her husband. Please tell me honestly how it was so I can mentally prepare!!!!

I found the actual crowning of the baby easier than the contractions.

I've had x3 vaginal deliveries and no tears or grazes. I've been very lucky.

Yeah as PP said, I didn't find the ring of fire as bad as the contractions. Had 2 vaginal deliveries with gas and air, the ring of fire is over very quickly whereas the intensity of the contractions during 'transition' was much more painful. I only had a first degree tear with my first though and nothing with my second so was very lucky.

I found the actual crowning of the baby easier than the contractions.

Also my experience despite having a tear. Contractions are the worst. Crowning also doesn't last that long and you know you're nearly at the end.

I've had 4 vaginal deliveries and agree with the others, I found the contractions worse than baby crowning and being delivered

I used just a tens machine with my last delivery, I didn't need any other pain relief until I had some stitches. I had a bit of gas and air to help with that. If I'd have needed it I could have used some during his delivery but didn't feel he need.

It was a long slow labour and most was at home, with warm baths and relaxed wondering about.

I strongly recommend a tens machine

I think you’re just so glad you’re near the end it’s fine!
I don’t specifically remember it (one epidural, two without and similarly I was terrified when I realised there was no time for an epidural with the second!)
second and subsequent deliveries are also generally much quicker and easier as your first has ‘paved the way’ as it were!

I didn't even feel a ring of fire.

Gas and air is your friend. If you can get into the rhythm of the rise and fall of the contractions it does take the edge off. I asked if I could take a tank of it home but they politely declined 😁
The contractions can be pretty unforgiving but I am reliably informed that recovery is quicker than having an epidural

I'm 39 weeks with DC4 and honestly I'm dreading it. I'm not going to lie to you, it is extremely painful. My labours are always fast and intense so never had a chance for an epidural, I would bite someones hand off for one! You get no prizes or extra praise for going pain relief free!

i liked having the epidural, I also liked when I didn’t because I knew when to push etc. you’ll get through it op, don’t think too much about it, just remember there’s a baby at the end! Best of luck and congratulations!

I had both my kids with just gas & air and honestly, I didn’t even know when I was crowning. It was just contraction after contraction then baby out.

How much it hurts depends on the baby’s position and how fast the birth progresses. I went from 0-10 in 2 hours. I was in agony and needed an epidural. My sister went 0-10 across 3 days and managed on gas and air. Out of the both of us I was she was the one left with permanent incontinency because she got a 3rd degree tear (apparently severe tears are more common in slower births than faster ones)

Never felt it with either with no pain relief other than g and a 🙈

I had a rapid delivery and tore. No pain relief there wasn’t time! It was awful for like 1 minute then it was over. That’s what it felt like anyway. Much better than the other birth with an epidural then forceps TBH!

When you get there, stop. Don't push. Take a breath and pretend you are walking slowly into a calm, cold lake.

You'll know when you're ready to go- and the midwife will tell you anyway!

Take that last moment for you.

Of course, it didn't stop me tearing. I did just that as told but little one put his fist by his cheek and punched his way out like superman. 😅

I remember telling the midwife that it was really stinging and she told me I was one of the politest Mums she’d ever had!!

Just have an epidural again and you'll never need to know!

I had an epidural for the first and nothing for the second (this wasn't an intentional decision FYI, it all went a bit wrong and I didn't want to feel out of it with gas and air or morphine). If I was going for a third I would 100% have an epidural. I at one point with DC2 remember thinking if someone had a gun I would ask them to shoot me in the head just to end the pain.

I felt it with my first and found it difficult to push through the sting, but honestly didn’t with my second despite not having any pain relief

I found the crowning the easier part with my 3 labours a lot less painful, i remember the relief at that part knowing it was almost over , after having felt like i had lost control and was out of my depth at points during my labours the crowning stage gave me back my control ,if that makes sense.

I only remember it with my first. I had 3 and all with only gas and air. The other two labours were much easier x

First and second the contractions were the worst thing and barely felt pushing/crowning. Third time contractions were bearable and pushing/crowning was really bad. So I think it depends every time.

Didn't really bother me too much at all. Had water births with only gas and air. Perhaps I was lucky

The worst thing was the overwhelming urge to push when the midwife was telling me not to. I did push so I tore but I can only remember the relief that I had pushed the baby out.

Crowning was fine. Labour leading up to it was intensely painful - I think you might be worrying about the wrong part tbh ... a few minutes of pain vs hours and hours of pain ...