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Humiliated hairdresser. WWYD as not sure how to fix this.

71 replies

Eastie77Returns · 06/11/2023 16:18

A few weeks ago I visited a new hairdresser. My usual one is great but this new lady does a particular style that looks really good and I wanted to try a new look.

The hair itself was done expertly and to a really high standard but once she had finished I realised it just didn’t suit me. There wasn’t any way I could ask her to fix it. Just for context it was type of style very specific to my hair type (I am not white) and was not a hair cut so not something that can be grown out or reshaped.

By the time she had finished the salon was empty apart from us and the owner. I should add it took her 8 hours (I was expecting 2-3 max) and I couldn’t face telling her the truth after she’d spent so long on my hair.

I paid and thanked her and thought I would just try and get used to the style. However I became increasingly upset each time I caught my reflection and after a few days I went to my usual hairdresser and got a new style. I also found out I would be presenting at a big corporate event in front of hundreds of people and couldn’t fathom getting up on stage like that.

The awkward thing is I bumped into the salon owner few days after my appt (totally unexpectedly, not close to the salon). She must have told the hairdresser as I then received a text from her stating that she knew I’d changed my hair, it was embarrassing for her to learn of this from her boss and why didn’t I just tell her I didn’t like it? She used the word humiliating. She is also related to an acquaintance of mine and I feel awful, not least because I see this acquaintance on a fairly frequent basis. I haven’t replied to her text and with each pasI don’t know what to say:(

OP posts:
Flipdiddle · 06/11/2023 16:19

Bloom hell she sounds very unprofessional and… unpleasant

8 hours??!

Flipdiddle · 06/11/2023 16:20

Your response;

Please do not message me again

Flipdiddle · 06/11/2023 16:20

How on earth did she get your number?

Interested in this thread?

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RudsyFarmer · 06/11/2023 16:22

You are entitled to change your hair without informing this woman. Ignore the text.

ThatAlbinoCat · 06/11/2023 16:22

8 hours?? Bloody hell.
I think the woman and the usual hairdresser both sound very unprofessional - the woman for texting you like that, and the usual one for telling her you hadn't liked it.

I'd be looking for a different salon

Bronzenettle · 06/11/2023 16:23

oh no. I’m not as brave as those above and would just say ‘really sorry. You did a great job but I felt like it didn’t suit me and I didn’t want to upset you’
and then don’t engage any further.

Bronzenettle · 06/11/2023 16:23

.

momtoboys · 06/11/2023 16:23

Ignore her. If the person you know who is related to her says anything, ignore them too. You paid for it, you can do whatever you want with it.

PurpleBananaSmoothie · 06/11/2023 16:23

You paid her for her time. What you do with your hair after that appointment is none of her business.

The polite option - “I appreciate the work you did but I didn’t think it suited me and I changed back.”

The less polite option - “It has nothing to do with you what I do with my hair. I’ve paid you for your time. Stop being unprofessional. This has literally nothing to do with your ego and everything to do with me and what I want for my hair”.

DaftyInTheMiddle · 06/11/2023 16:23

Yes, how did she get your number? Taking it from the salon would breach GDPR. She sounds very unprofessional regardless of that tbh. You didn’t run to tell the salon owner she bumped into your after you’d change the style, she could have held on to this info rather than shit stirring too. I wouldn’t reply and just block her, you don’t plan on seeing her again so just shrug it off.

NoTango · 06/11/2023 16:25

I wouldn't engage at all and I would switch salons!! It sounds like a very unprofessional set up and the hairdresser sounds super annoying and needy. How inappropriate to message you.

Ignore, block, find a new salon.

Bobsgettingitdone · 06/11/2023 16:26

It sounds like the hairdresser is very insecure - personally I'd tell her the truth and be kind.

Something like....
You did an incredible job with my hair; I cannot fault your talent. I thought I was ready for a change - but it was a step too far for me and I could not get used to it. Please do not take my actions as a reflection of your work - it's simply that I changed my mind and wasn't sure the style suited me. I wish you all the best and will certainly recommend you to others for the work you do.

😊

SirVixofVixHall · 06/11/2023 16:27

Bronzenettle · 06/11/2023 16:23

oh no. I’m not as brave as those above and would just say ‘really sorry. You did a great job but I felt like it didn’t suit me and I didn’t want to upset you’
and then don’t engage any further.

Edited

I would reply with this too.
I wouldn’t use her again though, she sounds v touchy and unprofessional

Flipdiddle · 06/11/2023 16:27

Bronzenettle · 06/11/2023 16:23

oh no. I’m not as brave as those above and would just say ‘really sorry. You did a great job but I felt like it didn’t suit me and I didn’t want to upset you’
and then don’t engage any further.

Edited

You would honestly apologise?

LoobyDop · 06/11/2023 16:29

I wouldn’t reply to that. There is nobody on the planet who has a right to be told how you wear your hair.

Bronzenettle · 06/11/2023 16:29

Flipdiddle · 06/11/2023 16:27

You would honestly apologise?

Yes. It’s probably a terrible failing but I’m a people pleaser and tend to take the path of least upset.

Vermin · 06/11/2023 16:31

Tell her she’ll be far more humiliated when her boss gets a rap on the knuckles from the ICO for breach of GDPR and then block her

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 06/11/2023 16:31

She's obviously upset and feels you didn't like it - I would say what you've said here and tell her the work was excellent and to a very high standard but in the end you felt the style you'd chosen ultimately didn't suit you, so you changed it. If you're feeling very generous leave her a nice online review

uncomfortablydumb53 · 06/11/2023 16:32

Ignore her message,you paid for the service and she is very unprofessional to contact you. So rude

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 06/11/2023 16:32

Double post, sorry!

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 06/11/2023 16:32

She needs to grow a thicker hide.

You don’t owe her anything apart from being polite and pay, which is what have done anyway.

Also, 8 fucking hours? That’s a lot of faffing around.

Flipdiddle · 06/11/2023 16:34

Bronzenettle · 06/11/2023 16:29

Yes. It’s probably a terrible failing but I’m a people pleaser and tend to take the path of least upset.

It’s not a failing

but… well if you have children, you don’t want them to see their parent constantly apologising basically for existing.

and it must be a bit shit for you to constantly feel like the one apologising and innthe wrong

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 06/11/2023 16:36

I'm sorry to hear this, I changed my style because shortly after i realised it didn't suit me and I didn't feel entirely comfortable. Nothing that you did wrong and I appreciate your skill, so I didn't feel there was a need to inform you of my decision. I will clarify this with your boss if you are concerned that my personal decision will reflect poorly upon your career?

cocksstrideintheevening · 06/11/2023 16:41

God just ignore it. If you wanted to be difficult you could ask about GDPR

SleepingStandingUp · 06/11/2023 16:48

Well that's v unprofessional.

Say

Honestly, your work was excellent, but I realised once I was home it wasn't me. I'm sorry your boss made such a big deal of it, I certainly didn't complain.