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If you are introverted, quiet, a homebody does it bother you if other people think you're boring?

102 replies

thesmartwife · 04/11/2023 16:13

I have always been an introvert, in many ways a loner in that even when I go out I often prefer to do things like shop or art galleries on my own. I am pretty quiet and a bit of a homebody. I did spend my 20's working in a creative industry which was interesting and involved a lot of travel but hectic and I packed it in because I was fed up working with people and being away from home all the time.

I'm still a creative but work from home now, alone! I do like to go out to the theatre, cinema, comedy shows and music concerts if something on appeals to me, I like a nice meal out and I do still enjoy travel and am currently planning a trip to Japan. I do love being at home though with my husband. I love to make my home cosy, to cook nice food, movie nights and games nights often just the two of us. I like to knit and make things, do jigsaws, I love read and play the piano, do a bit of yoga or hike with my DH. I was never into partying and can't remember the last time I touched alcohol, it must be at least 10 years or more and I never drank much to begin with.

I am content with my life at 34 but I know some people do consider me boring because I don't go out for big nights out or because knitting or jigsaws seem like "old lady" things to do. I suppose a lot of it is perhaps down to me not drinking. I personally find a night with a good book, my knitting or playing chess with DH far more entertaining and fun than a night down the pub but people aren't shy in letting me know how dull it sounds to them.

So if you are like me an introvert, quiet or a homebody do people assume or think your life is dull and does it bother you?

OP posts:
SWSO · 04/11/2023 17:19

@thesmartwife

I used to get this too - got compared with a bubbly cousin as we are the same age . Now when people say " you're nothing like xxxx" I pull a horrified face and say " Oh no ! Thank god for that ! " 😂 that usually shuts most people up . 😂

thesmartwife · 04/11/2023 17:21

StamppotAndGravy · 04/11/2023 17:18

I guess as much as anything is that it sounds like you're planning to do just that for the next 60 years! For most people that world be the incomprehensively boring part rather than the activities themselves. Do you not have plans of things you will do when your kids leave home or when you retire? Even if they're solo things like further study or getting a pair of donkeys. I'm an introvert, but I do a lot of solo activities like long distance running and hiking or outdoor swimming because I probably won't be able to do that when I'm 70, and I'm really looking forward to having all day to work in my garden when I'm retired (in about 10 decades if I'm not dead first...)

Sorry what? What part of what I wrote says that I plan to do those things forever and nothing else?

OP posts:
thesmartwife · 04/11/2023 17:22

SWSO · 04/11/2023 17:19

@thesmartwife

I used to get this too - got compared with a bubbly cousin as we are the same age . Now when people say " you're nothing like xxxx" I pull a horrified face and say " Oh no ! Thank god for that ! " 😂 that usually shuts most people up . 😂

Lol, I will have to try that!

OP posts:
itsmyp4rty · 04/11/2023 17:23

It's always the drinkers I find OP, because drinkers never want to do it alone.

BCBird · 04/11/2023 17:25

Boring is so subjective . Onli bother about the opinions of those you respect . I woukd not care jn the slightest

Isheabastard · 04/11/2023 17:29

I’m like you but much older so I’m not so out of synch with my age group.

You will find you come to have more in common with others as you get older.

But first I want to tell you and all the other posters.

You are very blessed to have the gift of enjoying your own company. Think of this as your Superpower. So many people don’t, and they are forever chasing something, new stuff, exciting times, travel for their dopamine hit.

I’m divorcing, I have one grown up child but very little family I’m close to, a couple of local friends and a couple of long time friends.

Im going to be moving to an area I don’t know, and where I don’t know anyone, and I’m not at all bothered.

wiffin · 04/11/2023 17:31

No. But how I feel depends who the extrovert is.

My extrovert neighbour does like attention and image is very important to her. She tends to be sneering and patronising to my less flamboyant lifestyle and does faux surprise. I find her quite amusing and I suspect I annoy her intensely.

My MIL is just rude. Says im boring because i don't want more than 2 glasses of wine and don't want a huge party for a milestone birthday (because she wants a big party that she doesn't have to pay for). I just see her as selfish. And if I drink more than 2 glasses am liable to tell her.

I have a close friend who is very extrovert and the most fun and generous person I know. Love spending time with them.

Octavia64 · 04/11/2023 17:36

I'm boring.

I don't care.

I've done the partying and clubbing, done the dragging children around the world to travel all the time, and now I just want to stay at home with my cats.

My kids are grown up and I got sick of always ferrying people here there and bleeding everywhere, and now I have the nice peaceful life that I longed for when I had a busy family.

I fucking love it.

I do go out sometimes, and I do travel sometimes.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 04/11/2023 17:37

I am content with my life at 34 but I know some people do consider me boring because I don't go out for big nights out or because knitting or jigsaws seem like "old lady" things to do

This old lady (pushing 70) thinks you've got a pretty good life that sounds a lot like mine. And TBH, I liked doing things like that in my 20s and 30s as well. You're happy, it suits you (and presumably DP as well), who cares if people think it's boring? people will always think something about you and you can't change that.

WhatsTheEffingPoint · 04/11/2023 17:37

I get the comments about being boring for not drinking, I usually reply that I don't need drink to have a good time and if they don't get the hint then I will add in I think its sad if you can only have a good time if you need to drink! It takes the insult from tame to quite pointed and gets the point across. Or I role out the well your welcome to pay for a taxi when I'm the sober driver!

It's not to say I haven't been out and partied, it's just that I'm now in a stage in my life where I'm comfortable at home, in my space, with my books.

Pinkitydrinkity0 · 04/11/2023 17:38

It used to - and I really tried to fake my personality to be the opposite! It really was not a happy time. Now I don’t care and it’s brill 😂

Sprig1 · 04/11/2023 17:44

No. I couldn't care less.

SWSO · 04/11/2023 17:48

Pinkitydrinkity0 · 04/11/2023 17:38

It used to - and I really tried to fake my personality to be the opposite! It really was not a happy time. Now I don’t care and it’s brill 😂

I used to as well. People can tell if you're faking . People respect the real me more than.

twobluechickens · 04/11/2023 17:49

Also an introvert and perfectly happy in my own company - I am never bored, I do plenty of things. But I also have a busy people-facing job with a fair bit of travel/time away from home and my downtime at home is my refuge from that. I love spending time with friends, family and colleagues but there is a limit before I get tired and irritable and start needing time out.

I can't go shopping or to galleries with others. I have no patience for that. But on my own I can spend hours mooching around a museum. I knit, sew, paint, garden etc - like I say, never bored. I also don't drink much, mostly because the hangovers affect whatever I was planning to do the next day and I need my sleep!

BasiliskStare · 04/11/2023 17:56

@thesmartwife I don't think boring at all. When I was younger I was out all the time ( this is not not a comment on your age ) but the other day a friend of mine said her husband had FOMO - which is apparently Fear of Missing Out - so parties etc . I think I have FOBI - fear of being invited- to a big do etc. I love being at home and I will go out but increasingly less and to things I choose not to everything .

It would not / does not worry me one jot if people think I am boring.

MuddlingThroughLife · 04/11/2023 17:57

Your lifestyle sounds great to me!

Each to their own I say. It would be a very boring life if we were all the same.

I love a drink and a good night out. In fact I went out to a silent disco last night and had a good drink. I was also dressed as Perry as in Kevin and Perry.

But, I also love quiet nights in. I enjoy cooking yummy food for tea after being in work all day. I'm a book worm and always have a book on the go. I love to watch TV, films or a good series and the soaps. My hobby at the moment is diamond art, sad I know but I like it lol. I love a cosy night in having cwtches with my 2 cats (soon to be 3 cats).

When it comes to a night out I can never be bothered. I got home from work last night and just wanted to put my pj's on and watch a bit of TV while I did some diamond art. I have to make myself go out, but once I'm out I enjoy it 😊

IncompleteSenten · 04/11/2023 17:58

Nope. Don't give a shit.

daffodilandtulip · 04/11/2023 17:59

I'm just like you, except I'm single too! I absolutely love being at home. I gave up a stressful people job to work at home and my world is really small ... but I'm happier than I've ever been.
People are of the opinion that I'm too young to have given up on life - nope, I love life, I appreciate being in nature, I enjoy having time to enjoy my home, I still try new foods etc.
People are also of the opinion that I'm scared of being hurt by people - nope, I just cba with the drama that big nights out invariably cause. I love my friends but at a distance!

Thingamebobwotsit · 04/11/2023 18:01

So I think I move up and down the extrovert/introvert scale. At work I spend a lot of energy being in the company of people. But that means I have no energy in the tank so tend to be very introverted at home. Your lifestyle sounds lovely and I wouldn't (and don't) give a monkeys what people think!

Dustpantsandbush · 04/11/2023 18:02

Nah. Fuck um.

Runnerduck34 · 04/11/2023 18:03

Fellow introvert here, your life sounds perfect!
I used to worry about "fitting in" when i was younger but no longer care, just do what makes you happy.

pinkcobweb · 04/11/2023 18:03

I dont care what anyone thinks, why should I?

Sugarfish · 04/11/2023 18:05

@BasiliskStare sounds like you have JOMO which is the joy of missing out!

DramaAlpaca · 04/11/2023 18:05

Nope. I'm an introvert, like doing my own thing and am comfortable in my skin. I genuinely don't care if people think I'm boring. That's their issue not mine.

EasternStandard · 04/11/2023 18:05

Enjoy it and don’t give it a second thought

Anyone who is happy and content has much to be grateful for or relieved or other word