Page 11 | Flatmate says I owe her £600

Digestivesandcheese · 2023-11-02T15:11:32+00:00

I was meeting my flatmate (who is also a good friend) in London recently and agreed to bring her weekend bag with me on the train (She was meeting her DM earlier in the day for a trip to the Theatre) I had a rucksack containing my things for the weekend. I got off the train in London and realised I had stupidly left her bag on the train. I got back on the train but the bag was gone! It hasn't turned up in lost property. I have chased up several times. My friend says I owe her £600 for the bag and contents. I agree it was my fault but can I claim compensation from the rail company as the bag hasn't turned up? If not, I will have to borrow money to pay my friend for her things

Scotsgirl001 · 02/11/2023 20:25

Some of these comments are ridiculous. Your flatmate forgot her bag, if it was that important/valuable then she should have gone back and got it herself. You were doing her a favour and crap things happen, whether it was lost or stolen it wasn’t deliberate on your part. Although I’d be massively annoyed at my belongings were gone I would never ask the friend to compensate me. I certainly wouldn’t be paying her.

Ywlala92 · 02/11/2023 20:34

@Scotsgirl001 the friend didn't forget it. It was an arrangement they had agreed on, because she was meeting her mother before meeting the OP.

anyolddinosaur · 02/11/2023 20:42

A lot of horrible people on this thread. You were careless with a friend's property. Doesnt matter if it was stolen, you didnt look after it. YEs you were doing a favour but that doesnt excuse your carelessness. Your friend was without her things for the weekend so didnt have as good a time as she'd expected, that balances the favour, you still need to pay.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 02/11/2023 20:45

StarlightLime · 02/11/2023 20:23

Decent people do not treat their friends like shit
Indeed they don't. Leaving £600 worth of a friend's belongings on a train and then shrugging your shoulders would be doing just that.

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Agreed, which is why I would offer to pay if I had lost something. But if was on the other side of this situation, there is absolutely no fucking way that I would allow my friend to be £600 out of pocket for something that happened when she was doing me a favour. I wouldn't dream of treating my friends like that.

notlucreziaborgia · 02/11/2023 20:56

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 02/11/2023 20:45

Agreed, which is why I would offer to pay if I had lost something. But if was on the other side of this situation, there is absolutely no fucking way that I would allow my friend to be £600 out of pocket for something that happened when she was doing me a favour. I wouldn't dream of treating my friends like that.

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I wouldn’t dream of not paying it. If I lost my friend’s bag that would be on me, and I would pay. My friends would do the same.

Anyone that wouldn’t I wouldn’t want to be friends with tbh.

wibdib · 02/11/2023 21:25

Op maybe one of the reasons you forgot to pick it up was because somebody had earlier stolen it at a different stop so you didn’t see it to be reminded that you needed to pick it up as you would normally expect…
it might be worth contacting the station or British Transport Police to see if they have cctv coverage of the platform and can see you get out - and then somebody else get out with it. If they don’t then at least you’ll be able to say that it was stolen before you got off and you can get a crime number if you need it.
I don’t know what the carriage you say in was like but if it was anything like many of the trains I’ve taken, you have to leave large bags near the entry to the carriage - and then hope that you can get a seat nearby to be able to keep an eye on it all the time - which often doesn’t happen. If your friend has taken her bag and it was busy on the train it could easily have happened to her.
i would also definitely get an itemised list of everything that was in the bag - if only to be able to compare it with the contents should it turn up at a later date!
aAnd make sure that you both agree what happens with regards to the money should you pay up and the bag reappear afterwards…

lemmein · 02/11/2023 21:37

There's no way I'd pay, you're not a courier! In fact, couriers wouldn't even reimburse for losses unless you had taken out extra insurance.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 02/11/2023 21:39

Morally you might do. Legally though unless anything was signed which I highly doubt (over a bag on a train) I'm not sure your friend has a leg to stand on. Absolutely, thats very easy though for me to say while lying on my couch.
It's if you can deal with the fall out though. Saying that though I couldn't just pull £600 out of my hat fall out or no fall out.

rascalraves · 02/11/2023 21:44

If I was the friend and this happened there is no way I would be Charging a
Friend for a lost bag.

alwaysmovingforwards · 02/11/2023 21:59

StarlightLime · 02/11/2023 15:22

Of course National Rail aren't going to compensate you for leaving your bag on a train and it subsequently being stolen... Can you even be serious?!
You owe your friend the value of what you lost, why are you trying to shift the blame onto somebody else?

Agreed

Sorry OP, expensive mistake. Live and learn eh.

Rocket1982 · 02/11/2023 22:03

Interesting how this divides opinion! The bag was stolen so I don't think that is fully on the OP. Perhaps it wouldn't have been stolen if the OP had been more vigilant, but what if the OP was mugged and possibly injured and it was stolen from her hands... Could the friend reasonably expect the OP to pay for the bag then? That is almost the moral equivalent. That said the OP did offer to replace it and so shouldn't back out of that now that the cost has been specified. I would have bought friend some stuff for the weekend and a new bag but maybe not given her 600, especially if that was much more valuable than my own bag. Making a mental note not to transport stuff for wealthier friends! It's a tricky situation.

notlucreziaborgia · 02/11/2023 22:17

Rocket1982 · 02/11/2023 22:03

Interesting how this divides opinion! The bag was stolen so I don't think that is fully on the OP. Perhaps it wouldn't have been stolen if the OP had been more vigilant, but what if the OP was mugged and possibly injured and it was stolen from her hands... Could the friend reasonably expect the OP to pay for the bag then? That is almost the moral equivalent. That said the OP did offer to replace it and so shouldn't back out of that now that the cost has been specified. I would have bought friend some stuff for the weekend and a new bag but maybe not given her 600, especially if that was much more valuable than my own bag. Making a mental note not to transport stuff for wealthier friends! It's a tricky situation.

What if an alien beamed down from outer space, grabbed it, and beamed back up? What ifs are irrelevant, given that they didn’t happen. What happened is that OP got distracted and forgot about the bag her friend trusted her with. That’s on her, and she’s taken responsibility for that.

The fact that the friend is wealthier doesn’t mean she should be left out of pocket for someone else’s mistake.

Passepartoute · 02/11/2023 22:20

StarlightLime · 02/11/2023 20:23

Decent people do not treat their friends like shit
Indeed they don't. Leaving £600 worth of a friend's belongings on a train and then shrugging your shoulders would be doing just that.

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It doesn't have to be those alternatives, though, does it? Obviously OP didn't intend to leave the stuff on the train and has done her best to get it back. OP would be perfectly entitled to offer £300 or less as fair compensation for what has actually been lost.

Passepartoute · 02/11/2023 22:21

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 02/11/2023 17:48

Honestly, that’s not expensive for a weekend away. I’m currently away from home.

My packed bag:

Bag - £300
iPad - £500
Power bank - £50
Evening shoes - £75
Evening clothes- £100
Cosmetics - £200
Toiletries - £30
Nightclothes / slippers - £70

So over £1300 (and I’m pretty sure I’m massively underestimating the costs of the evening shoes / clothes).

I’m going to carry my normal handbag or the cost would be even higher to include an evening bag.

If you wanted a friend to carry that lot for you and bear full financial responsibility in the event that they get lost, you really would be taking the piss.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 02/11/2023 22:49

Rocket1982 · 02/11/2023 22:03

Interesting how this divides opinion! The bag was stolen so I don't think that is fully on the OP. Perhaps it wouldn't have been stolen if the OP had been more vigilant, but what if the OP was mugged and possibly injured and it was stolen from her hands... Could the friend reasonably expect the OP to pay for the bag then? That is almost the moral equivalent. That said the OP did offer to replace it and so shouldn't back out of that now that the cost has been specified. I would have bought friend some stuff for the weekend and a new bag but maybe not given her 600, especially if that was much more valuable than my own bag. Making a mental note not to transport stuff for wealthier friends! It's a tricky situation.

Is stealing not on the actual thief !!!! or Did I miss something

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 02/11/2023 22:51

Passepartoute · 02/11/2023 22:21

If you wanted a friend to carry that lot for you and bear full financial responsibility in the event that they get lost, you really would be taking the piss.

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I wouldn’t carry that stuff myself on a train except on my lap / directly overhead (if the train was one with luggage racks).

If I couldn’t see it from my seat, I’d stand next to it - letting it out of my sight would be asking for trouble in my view.

PinkPantherPrat · 02/11/2023 22:52

OP made a silly, distracted mistake and unfortunately there was a thief around.

I'd pay back the items friend values/misses/needs the most but perhaps not the full £600.

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 02/11/2023 22:55

PinkPantherPrat · 02/11/2023 22:52

OP made a silly, distracted mistake and unfortunately there was a thief around.

I'd pay back the items friend values/misses/needs the most but perhaps not the full £600.

I suspect it may well have been considerably more than £600 and that is the flatmate reducing the amount significantly.

notlucreziaborgia · 02/11/2023 23:01

Passepartoute · 02/11/2023 22:21

If you wanted a friend to carry that lot for you and bear full financial responsibility in the event that they get lost, you really would be taking the piss.

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yes, how dare she trust the friend that willingly assumed responsibility for her bag.

OP fucked up with her friend’s belongings. It would be taking the piss if she didn’t accept responsibility for it.

PinkPantherPrat · 02/11/2023 23:17

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 02/11/2023 22:55

I suspect it may well have been considerably more than £600 and that is the flatmate reducing the amount significantly.

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Hopefully not - I was trying to think about what I'd do if my handbag was stolen but I'd be most pissed off about my passport. I keep my cards in my pocket.

Overnight bag is different as you'd have miles more stuff in it. Friend needs to write out a full list. I don't use much make up but there's a couple of MAC lipsticks in there, inika foundation and cover up, eyeliner, estee lauder night serum, day cream, nail clippers, rimmel eyebrow pencil, nail clippers, erborian BB cream and nice hairclip.

All used of course but it would tot up.

Clothes could have some sentimental value. Being without a charger is annoying.

Hopefully they'll sort it out.

ReviewingTheSituation · 02/11/2023 23:33

Whilst the £600 might sound a lot, it wouldn't take much for that to add up, even with fairly basic contents. I'm going away tomorrow, and in my small holdall, I'll have the following, with their cost to replace:

Bag: £60
Pair of jeans : £60
2-3 tops/jumpers : £100
2 bras : £70
knickers/socks : £20
Pair of shoes : £60
Nightwear : £30
Toiletries (shampoo, hair products etc) : £50
Make up : £25
Hair dryer : £100
Hairbrush : £10
Kindle: £150

That fairly basic overnight bag comes to £735.

Having said that, if my bag were lost for any reason, I wouldn't need/rush to replace most of these things. I have other jeans, and plenty of tops. I wouldn't miss the knickers and socks. Toiletries etc I'd obviously need, and I'd want to replace my kindle and hairdryer. So the immediate cost to me would be more like £300. But if my bag was lost in the circumstances you describe, I think I'd appreciate a contribution towards that replacement, but I don't think I could bring myself to look for the full value of what had been lost.

If nothing else, this thread has made me think I need to check the value I have on my house insurance for contents!

CherryMyBrandy · 02/11/2023 23:51

jlpth · 02/11/2023 15:17

I would say alright you owe it if it was £50-£100. But £600 is an insurance job. Although you left it on the train, it appears to have been stolen.

Insurance are unlikely to cover an unattended bag - they usually exclude anything unattended unless is locked and out of view (eg a locked boot).

PinkPantherPrat · 03/11/2023 00:05

Sounds like you're good friends so you can work out a plan to get things back bit by bit. And swear at thieves at the same time.

Girlswillbetwirls · 03/11/2023 00:09

anyolddinosaur · 02/11/2023 20:42

A lot of horrible people on this thread. You were careless with a friend's property. Doesnt matter if it was stolen, you didnt look after it. YEs you were doing a favour but that doesnt excuse your carelessness. Your friend was without her things for the weekend so didnt have as good a time as she'd expected, that balances the favour, you still need to pay.

This.

I might ultimately choose to let my friend off if they lost my possessions, but I’d horrified if they didn’t at least make a genuine offer to compensate me in full.

Who does that? Loses their friends stuff and then negotiates for how much they want to compensate them for? Absurd.

Not sure what the size of the bag was but I usually keep bags either next to me, if it’s not too busy, on my lap or on the overhead bag storage immediately above me. I only leave suitcases at the main luggage bit. I always think it’s all too easy for people to walk off with your luggage and they’re less likely to take a bulky suitcase off.

Unfortunately in these desperate times, I can imagine we’ll see more of these opportunist type thefts

Canisaysomething · 03/11/2023 00:35

Did you report it as stolen? If you left it on the train then get straight back onto the train then it was stolen. You won’t get anywhere with an insurance claim without that. Also have you checked again at the station lost property and also if they have a more centralised lost property it could be at?

It doesn’t sound like you’ve made a huge amount of effort to actually get it back. I left a big gym bag on a central London train and it took a bit of effort to track it down but I did get it back in the end. This kind of stuff happens all the time.