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Original poster

Flatmate says I owe her £600

641 replies

Digestivesandcheese · 02/11/2023 15:11

I was meeting my flatmate (who is also a good friend) in London recently and agreed to bring her weekend bag with me on the train (She was meeting her DM earlier in the day for a trip to the Theatre) I had a rucksack containing my things for the weekend.
I got off the train in London and realised I had stupidly left her bag on the train. I got back on the train but the bag was gone! It hasn't turned up in lost property. I have chased up several times.
My friend says I owe her £600 for the bag and contents. I agree it was my fault but can I claim compensation from the rail company as the bag hasn't turned up? If not, I will have to borrow money to pay my friend for her things

OP posts:
KatJarratt · 03/11/2023 00:44

I don't really get how many people are siding with your flat mate. It sounds as if she has a lot more money than you to play with and that paying her that amount would put you in real financial hardship which is probably the main reason you're trying to work out if there's any way to claim for it. To be honest if her stuff was worth that much she should have gone back and got it herself, not blame someone who was doing her a favour in the first place and who, by the sound of it was robbed. I would offer to pay something but certainly not the whole amount and then I'd start looking for a new flat mate, preferably one who likes charity shops and bargains and values their friends above their Jimmy Choos!

Isthisasgoodasitis · 03/11/2023 01:36

You can lodge a claim of theft against the rail company who should involve met police that will garnish you a crime reference number with that you can claim on your friends household insurance policy for her things but not all of it will be covered unfortunately

Ottersmith · 03/11/2023 01:44

Aww it feels shit when stuff like this happens. Was the train going through Kent? I left my bag somewhere once and some woman from Kent took it and kept it for like three months before contacting me. It had my passport in and everything. Maybe she thought she would get a reward. She was a daft twat.

yhk · 03/11/2023 02:02

@Digestivesandcheese If you alighted at a London terminus station, I would suggest logging it on TfL's lost property system: https://notlostenquiry.com/tfl/

It may well have been handed in to the Underground staff by a passenger that changed from National Rail to the Underground.

The TfL lost property system is quite good. Be very descriptive including the contents. It will e-mail you if the bag has been handed in.

Islandgirl68 · 03/11/2023 04:44

I would contact the police as they can ask to see CCTV if there is any. Sounds like it was definitely stolen. What a nightmare for you and what a shitty person.

Autiebibliophile · 03/11/2023 05:21

As long as she is not bullshitting You about the contents I would say yes you should pay.

mjf981 · 03/11/2023 05:24

I think paying her 300 would be a fair compromise. Its probably a generous value for used stuff anyway, and far easier to stomach than 600.

I don't know - you're a friend and you made a mistake. Asking for it all to be replaced seems very grabby to me. That's what I would do anyway.

Fluff11 · 03/11/2023 05:42

£600 sounds like a lot but when you add things up it can add up fast. Say she had ghd straighteners that’s £120, a lot of trainers over or up to £100, the cost of the bag itself, if she buys decent make up it could be £40 for foundation alone. Let’s not shame the flatmate for having nice things.

NewPapaGuinea · 03/11/2023 06:15

If it was a good friend I’d probably offer to go halves seeing as you were doing her a favour. Also get travel insurance if items are that expensive.

halloweenn · 03/11/2023 06:34

Too many people are trying to absolve OP of responsibility here:

Once a bag is left on a train after you depart, 2-3 minutes is enough for someone to take the bag or mistakenly assume it’s theirs. If someone took the bag after OP left it alone, OP’s carelessness led to that.

There’s no evidence the bag was stolen whilst OP was next to it en route the train journey either - OP doesn’t even recall this happening or any details of theft. The bag wasn’t stolen per se - it was left unattended and is missing due to OP losing or misplacing it. If someone physically took the bag from OP or threatened her, it would be a different situation.

as it stands, OP absent mindlessly left the bag.

halloweenn · 03/11/2023 06:36

Also not sure why anyone would think it’s the train company’s responsibility to sort or refund. If I brought my laptop out with me, that’s £2K minimum let alone my other stuff. You can’t expect train companies to take on that financial risk for the millions of people using their services. This is what insurance is for.

if the item is stolen, the police may assist. It’s likely they won’t have the resources

allaboardthestation · 03/11/2023 06:36

mjf981 · 03/11/2023 05:24

I think paying her 300 would be a fair compromise. Its probably a generous value for used stuff anyway, and far easier to stomach than 600.

I don't know - you're a friend and you made a mistake. Asking for it all to be replaced seems very grabby to me. That's what I would do anyway.

Yeah I thought this too. Friend made a totally normal mistake, I’d be upset but shit happens. Not entirely sure why the friend couldn’t have carried her own bag to the theatre if it was just a usual sized weekend bag. A compromise seems fair!- as peeved that I’d be that my stuff was lost, I wouldn’t want anyone going into debt over it.

Casperroonie · 03/11/2023 06:36

Yes you lost her bag but you were also doing her a favour? What's the background to this? Why were you taking her bag to her?

halloweenn · 03/11/2023 06:42

allaboardthestation · 03/11/2023 06:36

Yeah I thought this too. Friend made a totally normal mistake, I’d be upset but shit happens. Not entirely sure why the friend couldn’t have carried her own bag to the theatre if it was just a usual sized weekend bag. A compromise seems fair!- as peeved that I’d be that my stuff was lost, I wouldn’t want anyone going into debt over it.

Show quote history

Clearly the friend will be out of pocket to replace the items even if used. It’s not like you can go to a shop and ask to pay 50% of the price for a used version of the foundation or lipstick to get a like for like replacement. It wouldn’t be hygienic to buy used either. So that level of compromise doesn’t seem fair.

Tarquina · 03/11/2023 06:43

That you were doing her a favour, without payment, should be taken into account!

Example: a neighbour came into my house to help me because I could not get a jar of pickles open. Whilst opening it, he dropped and smashed it. Should I have made him pay for it?

If SHE had made the train journey to London with the case, the same thing may have happened, ie should could have left it behind OR had it stolen whilst she was napping or in the toilet etc.

Tell her you will compromise and meet her half-way. Give her £300.

WaltzingWaters · 03/11/2023 06:45

I think with such expensive things she should have taken responsibility of her own bag or packed cheaper things on this occasion. It’s a big responsibility to pass on to someone else.
But I think I would have said “sorry, I don’t want to be responsible for your very expensive stuff in case of it getting lost or stolen.”
Go halves. She was cheeky to put that responsibility on you. And you were silly to have forgotten it.

contactme · 03/11/2023 06:47

Ottersmith · 03/11/2023 01:44

Aww it feels shit when stuff like this happens. Was the train going through Kent? I left my bag somewhere once and some woman from Kent took it and kept it for like three months before contacting me. It had my passport in and everything. Maybe she thought she would get a reward. She was a daft twat.

How is she a daft twat? - surely that’s you for losing it. You should be grateful you even got it back, it’s not like it’s easy to trace people nor is it a priority for her to deal with

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 03/11/2023 06:48

IMustDoMoreExercise · 02/11/2023 16:40

I really don't think that she is much of a friend. She is obviously very wealthy so she does not need the money.

You were doing here a favour and made an honest mistake.

I think you are being too nice.

Bollocks. Having some expensive things doesn't mean she's obviously wealthy or that she doesn't need the money. I personally wouldn't expect my friend to replace the whole lot but she's not a bad person for doing so.

Aprilx · 03/11/2023 06:48

jlpth · 02/11/2023 15:17

I would say alright you owe it if it was £50-£100. But £600 is an insurance job. Although you left it on the train, it appears to have been stolen.

Who is going to have insurance that would cover a flatmate leaving a bag on a train?

notlucreziaborgia · 03/11/2023 06:49

Tarquina · 03/11/2023 06:43

That you were doing her a favour, without payment, should be taken into account!

Example: a neighbour came into my house to help me because I could not get a jar of pickles open. Whilst opening it, he dropped and smashed it. Should I have made him pay for it?

If SHE had made the train journey to London with the case, the same thing may have happened, ie should could have left it behind OR had it stolen whilst she was napping or in the toilet etc.

Tell her you will compromise and meet her half-way. Give her £300.

If she’d have left her own things she’d be the one having to replace them, yes. And? She wasn’t, OP was.

OP agreed to assume responsibility for her friend’s bag, and through her own carelessness, lost it. Of course she should replace it!

Namddf · 03/11/2023 06:49

Passepartoute · 02/11/2023 15:50

But, again, if those items have been used their value will be a fraction of the sale price.

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The point is how much it will cost her friend to replace it all.

Imagine having to go out and buy new jeans, new jumpers, a new dress, new boots, ALL new make up and toiletries, new pyjamas, new hair straighteners etc tomorrow.

How much do you reckon that would cost you?

notlucreziaborgia · 03/11/2023 06:55

KatJarratt · 03/11/2023 00:44

I don't really get how many people are siding with your flat mate. It sounds as if she has a lot more money than you to play with and that paying her that amount would put you in real financial hardship which is probably the main reason you're trying to work out if there's any way to claim for it. To be honest if her stuff was worth that much she should have gone back and got it herself, not blame someone who was doing her a favour in the first place and who, by the sound of it was robbed. I would offer to pay something but certainly not the whole amount and then I'd start looking for a new flat mate, preferably one who likes charity shops and bargains and values their friends above their Jimmy Choos!

If the friend had packed Jimmy Choos OP would be owing her more than £600. A designer bag alone would cost her more than £600.

The friend isn’t exactly demonstrating lavish wealth because her belongings amount to £600.

OP doing a basic favour doesn’t absolve her of responsibility for losing a bag she’s been trusted with.

grumpycow1 · 03/11/2023 06:59

Did she ask you to bring it specifically or did you offer?

I think you are mostly responsible, as you were careless, but she should give some leeway that you were doing her a favour.

If you lend your stuff to someone (similar principle to this) only do so if you’re not bothered about getting it back or can afford to replace it.

allaboardthestation · 03/11/2023 06:59

halloweenn · 03/11/2023 06:42

Clearly the friend will be out of pocket to replace the items even if used. It’s not like you can go to a shop and ask to pay 50% of the price for a used version of the foundation or lipstick to get a like for like replacement. It wouldn’t be hygienic to buy used either. So that level of compromise doesn’t seem fair.

Show quote history

True, and I’m not saying I wouldn’t be annoyed by that, but I’d go without foundation/lipstick for a bit or buy a cheaper one rather than see my friend in financial hardship over a mistake. I’d prioritise replacing the more essential items (phone chargers, trainers, hair tools) and then just take the hit.

If the person was a good enough friend for me to ask them to carry my bag for me (which I still don’t fully understand) I wouldn’t want them to be severely out of pocket for a careless but ultimately typical mistake.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 03/11/2023 07:12

You were trying to be helpful and she is being unreasonable. Nobody would help another person in this way if they became liable.