‘I don’t know how she does it’

[Summermeadowflowers]

I was in Waterstones yesterday and I saw Paris Fury’s book. The title is I don’t know how she does it - she does it with a shed load of help and support, isn’t that obvious!?

I know half of MN will claim never to have heard of her!

No I agree. I could do it too in her position.

Isn't that already the name of a book? Fiction. I read it, didn't enjoy it. It was later made into a movie starring Sarah Jessica Parker.

ETA: Yep, found it. It was written by Allison Pearson.

Book and movie

“Who is Paris Fury and what is she doing?” is my first response. I don’t need an answer, I’m assuming she’s some sort of reality tv person or footballers wife or such?

I really enjoyed Alison Pearson's book. It was very much of its time and resonated with many of us of a similar age.

I would have thought the title meant "I don't know how she puts up with Tyson Fury". I watched a few episodes of that programme they did and I wouldn't want to be married to him 😶

I don't know much about the Fury's other than that they are multi millionaires, but I don't think Paris does have shedloads of help. She has 7 kids and even with all the money in the world, that is hard work. Also, her husband has had well documented MH struggles and she's been with him since she was a teenager. I don't think any of that is a walk in the park.

I also don't think that in traveller culture, having 'help with the kids and home' is the done thing tbh. I think that the children and housekeeping is her role and his is earning the money. I suspect its an extremely traditional set up.

Ugh I hate things like that. It’s just like when people say “We all have the same 24 hours as Beyonce.” Now, I love Beyonce and admire her work output, but I’m sure even she would confess she has more money and support to get shit done than most of us!

Me too.

She is a woman who is in a position she chose to be in. That’s how she does it!

I wish we could all just stop pedalling this attitude that women juggling huge loads is admirable or aspirational.

When does anyone look at a man and think “I don’t know how he does that” - successful men have PAs, secretaries, wives, and multiple levels of minions doing their bidding.

I’d much rather be an admired man in this world than an admired woman.

I remember Alison Pearson's book. I was just thinking I remember the actual opening scene in the book where it's late at night and the woman is back from a business meeting and is making mince pies for the children's Christmas fete I think. Except she's not making them, they are from Marks & Spencer's and she is squashing them to make them look home-made. I'm surprised at the detail I remember!

Ugh it's just one of my most loathed statements.

Oh you've got a disabled child, I don't know how you do it!!
So would you have sucked it up and got on with it or left them in the hospital then? Ain't much of a choice is it!

Oh you've got twins, I don't know how you do it!!
Well they wouldn't let me put one back in for a few years so don't have much choice do I, or would you have dumped one at the local fire station?

Ok so actually it's up there with "I couldn't do it"

Anyway yes 7 kids is alot, I expect the older girls are expected to do a lot and I imagine there's some degree of outside help even if it's just family. And the money will certainly help. She's never going to have to choose between shoes or dinner.

But she does it because the alternative is child abuse and neglect.

She doesn't have a lot of help. Her mum comes to help with the children but she doesn't have paid help.