If you were offered a guarantee to die at 82 just now, would you take it?

[Deardanielle]

Okay, weird one! It was a relatives funeral the other week (died at 82, very short illness) and my dad said to a friend that if we got the option to sign up to die at 82 now we would obviously all take it. Everyone was agreeing but in my head I was thinking, I feel that’s a bit of a gamble when I could potentially make it to 90+. Obviously quality of life is important and you’d ideally not need to be in a care home for those years, would depend what age you are now etc but aside from all of that, would you agree to go at 82? Or what age would you take if you were offered it and you could live the rest of your life happily knowing you wouldn’t die til then? Happy Sunday all 🤣

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER - agree with you on this. My GM lived to 96 but the last 3 years were in a home and the three before that virtually without sight. Family support was critical.

Guessing I'm a bit younger than you but I want to travel in next 10 or 12 years until I hit 70 and hopefully for a fair while after that. If I can't travel I'm ok watching telly, reading and doing the Times Cryptic.

If i cant dress myself and need the nurse to wipe my backside I'm not ok

That does sound interesting. I might give that a try too.

My DH’s grandmother lived until 96. She was still driving at 88 and looked after her large garden until well into her 90s. Still sharp as a knife until the end, her body just gave up.
I remember having a conversation about age and commented that it must be ok if you are still physically and mentally able. Her answer was that it was a very lonely existence. She had outlived all of her contemporaries and was lumped in with people who were 20-30yrs younger than her. She often found it difficult relating to friends who were the same age as her children. Her life experience was so different having been born in 1912 she had lived a very different life from those born a generation later.
I think mid eighties is a good age to aspire to. Having just recovered from breast cancer I would love to still be here in 25yrs.

If I could I would get voluntary euthanasia when I'm old and the climate crisis worsens.

No 82 doesnt seem very old to me. I have plenty of family members and ancestors living well into their 90s.

There is no age I would agree to simply because I wouldnt want to know when the end was approaching. I'd sooner die tomorrow than know for certain I was going to die at a defined age.

@Angrymum22 - agree on the loneliness thing. Who is around from your childhood?

My GM was born in 1903 and even attended her eldest daughter's 50th wedding anniversary. She had over 60 direct descendants ( ie kids, grandkids, great grandkids and even a few great great grandkids) when she died

She was a wonderful women who I still miss

My dad lived to be 92 and he kept his marbles every step of the way. What's with all this croaking in your 80s?

My dad's marbles rolled away long before he was 80. Some of us have a good idea what might be coming our way.

I'd have to know how my health was going to be like. If Im going to bed bound from when I'm 70 with no quality of life and worse still a burden I'd rather be bailed out. Lets be honest if you're living in pain and suffering you're not living at all, are you, merely existing. However on a more positive note and like I say providing you're in decent health then its not a bad age to get to.

Yeah, I think I might. 85 might be better, but honestly I absolutely don't want to live to be 90+. I can see 82 being chosen as an age because you can be physically not too badly off, but honestly, when my grandfather reached his 90s, and he had all his marbles and was healthier than many, I found myself hoping he didn't have to live too long as he was, much as I loved him. He was almost house bound, you can't commit to do anything because you never know if you'll feel up to it, you can't travel (which my grandfather loved to do). He died aged 93 after a relatively short illness with cancer and I was relieved he hadn't had to endure years and years of frailty. My step-grandma is still going in her mid 90s but she has dementia and is losing her eyesight as well, it's really upsetting - luckily she seems mostly happy in herself at the moment and not that aware what's going on.

I have a dodgy leg so I'm not going to be able to be one of those super-fit octeganarians, though I do work out and one of my guiding motivators is seeing the difference between my parents, who didn't exercise, and my (slightly older) in-laws who always did and still do and seem to be finding life so much easier as my parents, in their early 70s, start to struggle with things they could cope with before.

I'm glad I found this thread, I needed cheering up!

How old 82 is depends on how close you are to it...

I agree with PP I'd take 85. My grandmother is 104 and I'd say she was good until about 95 actually but her quality of life is now awful.

I'm in good health and about to turn 70, and both my parents died at age 82, so that gives me 12 more years. Looked at like that, it seems a bit soon. But having said that, I have no desire to live too long ... I'd rather go while I'm still on my feet, as it were, rather than fading away slowly.

I feel strongly that it would not be about me, it would be about those around me. If they still need my support and I am able to give it I want to be here. I would like to see my son reach certain adult milestones so that by the time I am gone we have related to each other as mature adults rather than parent/child. If my death would be a huge hole in others’ daily lives (as opposed to just a sad event) then I would not want that. If I am a burden to them I want to slip away. But I need to be sure that I have said all that needs to be said and given them the same opportunity/nudge to do so.

I wouldn't want to know, the last few years would be a countdown and it would be awful

My dad lived to be 92 and he kept his marbles every step of the way. What's with all this croaking in your 80s?

But you must know that loads of people don't even get anywhere near their 80s? And a great many of those who do get to their 80s/90s don't have good mental health at all.

Tragically, a great many people never even live to see their 1st birthday. In world terms, something like half of all human are aged 25 or under - so we can all work out the implications of that.

I would prefer Euthanasia to be legal. I do not want to go into a nursing home and if I felt my quality of life was decreasing and I was becoming unable to look after myself I would choose to die.

I hear this attitude quite a lot, but I have the opposite view. My late DM was in a rest home and every time I visited I used to think that if I ever got to the stage where I couldn't look after myself I would be more than happy to move into one. I've seen the elderly struggle on at home when they really can't manage, and being looked after seems a far more attractive proposition to me. Obviously some residents have a poor quality of life, which is different, but many in care live quite happy lives. My DM really wasn't living any differently to when she was in her own home, other than she didn't have to do any work, and if she felt unwell there was always someone there to help. Also, there was company.

That would give me 27 years left. ds would be 46. If I am destined to have dgc they would maybe be 10-15ish.

Ideally I would like longer - would love to see a dgc's 18th or wedding, but I lost my dad then mum at 78/82 and both their last 4-5 years were not great with debilitating chronic illnesses.

If I was guaranteed reasonably healthy until 82 then the light just go out one day I would say a big yes please (can you make it 82 and a bit so I don't die during, and ruin everyone's, Xmas holidays?)

Definitely. Health declines so quickly after mid-80s assuming you make it that far. I don't want to end my days in a nappy, bedbound and uncomprehending.

I am opposed to euthanasia.

Interesting news article today saying councils may only give the option of care in a care home as it's cheaper than intensive support for independent living. Can't find a link but the gentleman interviewed had cerebral palsy and had lived independently with a carer for many years.

My parents are in their late 80s. Seeing what they are going through, yes I would choose 82 over additional years of possible suffering.

Not necessarily. My dad was razor sharp and mobile right to the end. He played his final round of golf when he was 98. My mum was still riding her bike into her 90s.

Wow, left field! I maybe would. In all honesty the certainty would probably cure my extreme anxiety and resultant MH illness! If I actually knew I wasn't going to die every day the constant fear would disappear and I could fuck around for 30 years living it right up.

I have two parents with dementia. I’m 46.

I want ten years old good health after they die. Then I want out. I’m not going through what they’re going through. I’m not putting my kids through what I’m going through now.

I'd be happy with 82, because of family history of degenerative diseases and dementia, chances are that would be the best outcome. Although I have health problems that might make that hard, depends how things go, it might seem like a very long term if my health goes down hill.