If you were offered a guarantee to die at 82 just now, would you take it?

[Deardanielle]

Okay, weird one! It was a relatives funeral the other week (died at 82, very short illness) and my dad said to a friend that if we got the option to sign up to die at 82 now we would obviously all take it. Everyone was agreeing but in my head I was thinking, I feel that’s a bit of a gamble when I could potentially make it to 90+. Obviously quality of life is important and you’d ideally not need to be in a care home for those years, would depend what age you are now etc but aside from all of that, would you agree to go at 82? Or what age would you take if you were offered it and you could live the rest of your life happily knowing you wouldn’t die til then? Happy Sunday all 🤣

This is the sort of thread I enjoy on here - thought provoking

Most of my friends are mid 50s to early 60s so occasionally we talk about this sort of thing. One said he'd be happy enough to make it to 80.

The point about quality of life is very valid. I'd probably take 82 if I knew I'd be doing shit right to the end. In my late 50s I've seen a fair few people in the generation above go through their 80s in last 10-15 years. Quality of life almost always deteriorated after early 80s and ability to travel a bit earlier than that.

Of course we never know until we get there and I can imagine a comfortable old age watching TV, reading and doing the Times crossword. I don't want to spend my last few years with one of my kids spoon feeding me and the nurse changing my nappy twice daily

I'd take 85, but 82 seems a bit short changed. Both my parents still entirely independent at 86.

Me too - none of my grandparents made it close (42, 50, 64 & 78) so 82 with no health issues would be amazing!

Would happily take 80 if I could guarantee reasonably decent health until I go.
Parents died at 60 and 70 so it really pisses me off when people talk about someone dying in thier late 80s or 90s saying "it's so sad, such a tragedy taken too soon" etc... no its not, they've had a bloody good innings!

My own nan died recently at 102 and a great uncle at 104. Both lived independently in their own homes till 100, so I 'hope' I too will live past 82!

My boys would only be 44 and 48, I'd like to hold on until they have grandkids. Based on their father, I better pay for the ten year extension pack

My grandma was 96, her sister in law was 91 her cousin is 98, my mum’s just turned 80 so I suppose it depends on genetics. I’d hope my mum would have a few good years after the 4.5 years of stress we’ve had since my dad died.

So to answer the original question no to living to 82.

I had 3 v long lived grandparents. All were going great guns until about 85 but god, it was downhill fast after that, for different health reasons, with the last 5-15 years of life being very low quality.

So yeah, a very, very long life no longer feels like a great thing to me, but 80 good years is a blessing.

Wow, fingers crossed!

My dad died at 60, my mum
61. I have a chronic illness with severe pain, don't have much quality of life now. If I didn't have children I would be happy to go soon so I wouldn't be in this pain, I'm 47.
Living to 82 sounds awful if I have to live how I feel now but if I didn't have pain and had my mind 82 seems a good age to get to.

My fraternal grandparents both died at 58.
My Dad at 67.
Various aunts and cousins in their 40's and 50's
I'm 43 and would bite your hand off for a guarantee of making it to 82.

My dad’s side was marred by abuse. On one side - My bastard of a gf lived healthily to 85 (his death was self-inflicted, he could have lived to 100 like all of his brothers) but the stress and violence he put my gm and his kids (my dad and aunts) meant that except for dad they all died between 68-72. On the other side - my gf lived riddled with pain due to Cancer until 70. Gm, who comes from an extremely long lived family, died at 83 by falling out of a window while she was washing the ceiling!!

I think there’s a strong chance I’ll make it to 85 so I wouldn’t take the guarantee.

If I didn't have kids I wouldn't mind going at 55. (I'm 52.) I've only felt like that since I was widowed. Before that it would have been about 82. As I do have kids I would take 82 for their sake not mine.

A friend of mine is 92 and still way too young to die.

Absolutely, as long as I could choose euthanasia if I wanted an earlier exit. I don't come from a massively long lived family, and I've seen a couple of peers die in recent years (mid 40s to early 50s. Really brings home that you never know what's coming.

If I could guarantee 82, knowing I'd be around for dc for that time (I had kids quite late in life) I'd be happy with that.

Plenty of people older than 82 don't need care, my neighbour for one and nextdoor but one on the other side. One living with husband, one a widow, both seem to be enjoying life, seeing family/friends/playing golf. I think working in elderly care would give you a certain perspective which might not be very balanced.

Remembering a relative who died very suddenly in late 80s, no illness, was on a coach holiday and fell asleep on the journey and never woke up. She used to help at the church lunch club, she said she liked to help the old dears, most of them were younger than her.

It is hard to predict which group you are going to fall into.

It depends… my FIL has been decrepit and miserable since he was 50 and my great aunt just died at 103 after living a full, happy life surrounded by family and friends. She played poker three times a week at “the club”, drank a glass of champagne or two on the weekend, and had an active social life and great community ties. The only reason she died was because she decided to climb up on a table to change a lightbulb and broke her hip, got pneumonia and died within a week.
I know which life I’d choose.

As PPs have said, it totally depends on your health.

DMIL is 96 and is amazing. She lives alone (lost DFIL 20 yrs ago) and in the last year or so has become a lot more frail. She loves gardening and baking and keeps her house clean and tidy, but I know she's sad she can't do as much as she used to. She loves company and socialising, and does get a bit lonely but has lots of friends and people to phone her up.

DH is her youngest and was born 20 years after her other two DCs, a bit of a surprise in her mid forties! We then had DCs late in life so she has two teenage grandchildren just down the road and they all love each other to bits. She always said they gave her a reason to carry on.

She has all her marbles, although her hearing is not quite what what it was. She does struggle physically and has bad arthritis, and wakes a lot at night so gets tired easily. But she still plans things for her garden for next year (unlike my friend's mum who jokes she won't even buy green bananas these days.....), and I genuinely thinks she enjoys her life. Of course she'd like to be fitter, and keeps saying she wishes she was 10 years younger - but I'm 100% sure she wouldn't choose the alternative!

My Dad is 90 and also amazing. I bet if he'd taken the '82' challenge decades ago he'd be looking down and also be really peed off.......😁

So who can tell? It's not about age, it's about health, and mental capacity. I'm very lucky that both DF and DMIL are good!

The trouble is once you have GC you want to live to see them grow up, well I do anyway so 82 is no use to me.

82 seems like a good innings. I wouldn't feel short changed by that. But then I saw a parent die of cancer at 55, so it's all about perspective I guess. If they had lived to 82, I'd have had 2 of my life times with them.

I'm terrified ill face the same fate even though my other parent is still here at 71 so yes I would take 82. Many many don't get there.

Sorry to hear this. I hope things improve for you going forwards.....

Yes. I am an older Mum and my parents died at 53 (leukaemia) and 66 (cancer). I worry constantly about dying before my son is an adult. 82 would make him 40, which is older than I was when I lost both parents. That would be perfect. To no longer have that worry would be a dream.

God no I'm aiming for 100! Already putting the work in now to make it lol

No way. I would hate to know when I was going to die. I prefer uncertainty and having the future be a mystery.

I think as you approach 82, it would become quite scary. Better just to opt to die when it is your time, whether that be young or old and never have to worry about it, unless you happen to get a terminal illness