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Original poster

If you were offered a guarantee to die at 82 just now, would you take it?

207 replies

Deardanielle · 29/10/2023 23:10

Okay, weird one! It was a relatives funeral the other week (died at 82, very short illness) and my dad said to a friend that if we got the option to sign up to die at 82 now we would obviously all take it. Everyone was agreeing but in my head I was thinking, I feel that’s a bit of a gamble when I could potentially make it to 90+. Obviously quality of life is important and you’d ideally not need to be in a care home for those years, would depend what age you are now etc but aside from all of that, would you agree to go at 82? Or what age would you take if you were offered it and you could live the rest of your life happily knowing you wouldn’t die til then? Happy Sunday all 🤣

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarried · 30/10/2023 11:13

If I'm still alive at 80 I'm goi g to dignitas.

TheDogAndDuck · 30/10/2023 11:14

This sounds like the basis of a dystopian film....

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 30/10/2023 11:28

Imagine being in good health at 81 and then watching the clock tick down to 82nd birthday! No thanks!

Quite. Your last 5, 10 years might be spoiled by the impending knowledge of time running down to the strict (literal) deadline. I wouldn't fancy living my last several years like I'm the final of Supermarket Sweep Grin

IFeelSoSoSad · 30/10/2023 11:38

Interesting question!

My family all lived to a great age, three were just over 100. But the last 5 years or so for each were rotten and depressing for them.

I am in chronic pain. And would happily live pain free until 82 in exchange for the chance of reaching 100.

DH and I hope that we go together, but then I worry that the children would struggle as they have many issues being ND and having mental health struggles.

Argh, this is why I live from day to day trying not to think too much about the future.

SkyTree · 30/10/2023 11:44

I don’t think so. My grandparents were all still leading active, full lives at 82, and a great grandparent made it to over 100 - though she probably didn’t have an enviable quality of life past about 95.

huffyhufferson · 30/10/2023 11:47

No. I definitely do not want to live until I am that age.

ManAboutTown · 30/10/2023 11:54

TheDogAndDuck · 30/10/2023 11:14

This sounds like the basis of a dystopian film....

Logan's Run did it in the 70s although euthanasia was at 30 (and 21 in the book)

applesofthesun · 30/10/2023 11:57

TheDogAndDuck · 30/10/2023 11:14

This sounds like the basis of a dystopian film....

Logan's Run sort of thing!

applesofthesun · 30/10/2023 11:59

Cross post!

Yes, the novel was different.

xogossipgirlxo · 30/10/2023 12:00

Yes, it’s decent age. I don’t need to live
until 90 or more. I wish I lived until 82 in relatively good health and just die in my sleep. Blessing. I would sort everything out by then etc. and would not live in fear that I might die in car crash leaving my newborn son behind (I guess it’s part of the deal right?!🫣).

RuthW · 30/10/2023 12:03

Gosh no. 82 is still quite young as elderly go.

berksandbeyond · 30/10/2023 12:06

Yes please. I am terrified of dying before my daughter is grown up

All2Well · 30/10/2023 12:19

No. If I ever manage to become a mother now, it will mean having babies in my 40s. I want to stay as fit and healthy as possible (and mobile and mentally sharp) in order to prioritise having as much time as possible with them.

I have relatives who were active, healthy and independent into their 90s before dying mid 90s, at 82 they were still very active and living alone, completely independently. My own parents have only just retired at 78 and 75 (with the 75 year old only being semi retired). There are lots of very active people 85+ in my place of worship volunteering, caring for infant school aged grandchildren etc. My best friends' PIL are both over 82, cruising, caravanning, looking after baby and toddler grandchildren, golfing, gardening, playing tennis, rambling etc. It's incredibly insulting to suggest they'd all be better off being dead now. They still bring a lot to this world and have a lot of life left in them.

I understand there are no guarantees with regard to health, sanity and mobility, but I'll take my chances whilst doing everything in my power to look after my body, mind and have a plan in place if I ever did need care in future.

KingsleyBorder · 30/10/2023 12:21

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 30/10/2023 10:59

I’ll take your word for it but I have never in my life heard anyone refer to a person in their eighties with anything other than affection and admiration, and pride about the “good genes” if it is their own relative. Who on earth are these vile people who are saying these things?

I'm not saying it's (currently) a common thing for people to say or think; but I can well see which way the wind could blow.

Whilst most of us do respect and value the elderly people in our society, it's human nature for a lot of people to look at what other people have that they may covet and transfer their grievances on to those people themselves. Look at the common attitude to the immigrants "taking our jobs and homes."

Once we reach a point whereby the expectation is no longer that we will preserve life as a matter of course (except maybe when there is no more hope at all and people are clearly in their final hours), everybody's life will become a value judgment - and maybe seen as up for negotiation - rather than an assumed given. When people see it that you have the freedom to actively give up your life, some will start to see it as your duty to do so, once you reach a certain age or health circumstances.

Is the attitude that immigrants are “taking our jobs and homes” really such a common one, or is it just that those who do believe it are disproportionately vocal?

I know, I know, Brexit, but that was about more than just free movement of people from the EU.

You do raise an interesting point about how any choice that we can make freely does become a target for those who want to influence the choices that we make. I still think, however, that most human beings have an innate sense that to see an old person who is alive and well gives them hope for their own longevity.And that what goes around comes around. So I’m not sure that the “it’s your duty to die” movement would ever gain much traction.

Pumpkintastic · 30/10/2023 12:22

No chance. I don't think 82 is that old. The women in my family tend to go well into their 90's. My parents are mid 70's and both pretty fit. I would like to think they'll both still be here in 10 years.

KingsleyBorder · 30/10/2023 12:24

All2Well · 30/10/2023 12:19

No. If I ever manage to become a mother now, it will mean having babies in my 40s. I want to stay as fit and healthy as possible (and mobile and mentally sharp) in order to prioritise having as much time as possible with them.

I have relatives who were active, healthy and independent into their 90s before dying mid 90s, at 82 they were still very active and living alone, completely independently. My own parents have only just retired at 78 and 75 (with the 75 year old only being semi retired). There are lots of very active people 85+ in my place of worship volunteering, caring for infant school aged grandchildren etc. My best friends' PIL are both over 82, cruising, caravanning, looking after baby and toddler grandchildren, golfing, gardening, playing tennis, rambling etc. It's incredibly insulting to suggest they'd all be better off being dead now. They still bring a lot to this world and have a lot of life left in them.

I understand there are no guarantees with regard to health, sanity and mobility, but I'll take my chances whilst doing everything in my power to look after my body, mind and have a plan in place if I ever did need care in future.

But don’t you see that “taking the deal” gives you a cast iron guarantee that you’ll be there for your child into his/her adulthood? That’s why I’d take it, because I am terrified I will die in my fifties like my Dad did. He did everything right then randomly got leukaemia. My son would be 10 if I died at my Dad’s age.

NorthCliffs · 30/10/2023 12:24

Yes. As an older mother (had my last at 47) I'm terrified of my children losing me before settling into adulthood. 82 means my youngest would be 34, oldest 41. I'd take that.

mrsbyers · 30/10/2023 12:25

Absolutely would it would make retirement planning. Lot easier too

Isthisrealorjustfantasy · 30/10/2023 12:38

I’d take another 30 years in reasonable health to be able to see my DCs grow into proper adulthood (they’d be around 50 then themselves), have grandchildren (hopefully!), travel etc. If it doesn’t guarantee no cancer/stroke/heart attack then I’ll take my chances…
82 is reasonably young, some people get into their mid-80s with not too much bother, but I don’t know many late-80s and beyond who are living their best lives!

TrashedSofa · 30/10/2023 12:46

KingsleyBorder · 30/10/2023 12:24

But don’t you see that “taking the deal” gives you a cast iron guarantee that you’ll be there for your child into his/her adulthood? That’s why I’d take it, because I am terrified I will die in my fifties like my Dad did. He did everything right then randomly got leukaemia. My son would be 10 if I died at my Dad’s age.

Show quote history

And of course, you can realistically die decades younger than 82, whereas you're very unlikely to make it more than 20 years the other side. People die in middle age all the time, tragically. There isn't a corresponding group of people who live til 115.

HandShoe · 30/10/2023 12:49

You might enjoy ‘Should We Stay or Should We Go’ by Lionel Shriver which is about a couple who decide on a suicide pact when they turn eighty to prevent suffering from long illnesses etc. The book goes through various different outcomes after their initial discussion.

CesareBorgia · 30/10/2023 12:55

HandShoe · 30/10/2023 12:49

You might enjoy ‘Should We Stay or Should We Go’ by Lionel Shriver which is about a couple who decide on a suicide pact when they turn eighty to prevent suffering from long illnesses etc. The book goes through various different outcomes after their initial discussion.

Ooh, that sounds good - thank you.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 30/10/2023 12:58

If I could have a guarantee that I could die in my sleep at 85, having not had dementia or a serious illness, or become unable to care for myself, or been a worry and a burden to dds (or dh if he was still around) I think I’d count myself lucky and say yes please.

I am not so very far off that sort of age now, so it’s something I do think about.
For many people, extreme old age is no joke. Either there are mobility issues or you lose your marbles, or if you’re really unlucky, both. A few are lucky enough to suffer neither.

My DM went on to 97, having had dementia for 15 years, and to me that’s a fate infinitely worse than death.

9outof10cats · 30/10/2023 13:01

I'd like to die before my 80's, maybe 75.

My parents are both in their 80s and reasonably active but their whole life revolves around the next hospital/doctor appt. That would depress me.

MajorBarbara · 30/10/2023 13:03

I'd rather have 122 like Jeanne Calment, as long as I had all my marbles still, or a good proportion of them. That's 40 years more.