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Original poster

Nearly in a serious car accident - hand hold please

719 replies

Usedandhurt · 24/10/2023 16:09

Im literally shaking. Just had a driver nearly kill me and my dc on the motorway. He/she must have not checked before they pulled onto the motorway from a slip road, I literally had to slam on the breaks to avoid crashing into them and thankfully the driver behind me and the one behind them etc etc were able to stop also. My dc would have been very badly hurt - it was a huge bus and I can only imagine the driver got distracted.

Im a nervous driver at the best of times and Im literally sick with nerves.

OP posts:
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8
TenderDandelions · 24/10/2023 17:28

Here's an example of one that happened to me - Dashcam video

I was overtaking the car in lane 1. There was plenty of space for the joining traffic to merge in to. I can't remember if there was anything in lane 3, but I may just have been so shocked that I didn't trust myself to swerve, just in case there was something there. Should I have "moved over to let the car join" in this case, or is it actually really the case that the driver is just a moron?

Remember, the angle of these cameras make things look further away than they actually are, so when something looks close, it's very close!

The OP may have found herself in just the same situation.

The thing I'm most impressed with is that I didn't swear...!

Viviennemary · 24/10/2023 17:29

Sounds like you are a nervous driver. Maybe avoid motorways for a while and have some revision driving lessons to improve your confidence.,

Treesinmygarden · 24/10/2023 17:29

PostItInABook · 24/10/2023 17:25

😂 Yeah ok.

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Just take your nastiness somewhere else, why don't you?

NerrSnerr · 24/10/2023 17:29

Many of the 'unsupportive' posts are just trying to help you see how this can have been avoided. No huge bus should just 'appear' next to you if it's on a slip road- that suggests that you haven't looked in your mirrors to see who may be joining.

No one should be joining the motorway if there's no gap but as you learned today idiots do it and making sure that you know who is where as early as possible and making sure there's already a big gap between you and the car in front (which there should be anyway) will help keep you safer on the motorway.

It's just a bit concerning that the bus seemed to 'appear' when you really should be more aware of surroundings.

Cerealkiller4U · 24/10/2023 17:29

Yeah. When I was pregnant a car went into the back of me. Kicked me off the corner and it made me hit a kerb and it rolled 5 times. I landed on the roof and it took 6 hours to cut me out…..

I had bad nightmares for over a year and driving lessons to get my confidence back…. Thankfully I was ok and I was able to get back behind the wheel but I still get a little nervous when people are close behind me. I was only going 40mph but it terrifies me when someone goes off my backside on the motorway at 70 mph. I don’t think people realise the devastating effects that can I have on you

Sparehair · 24/10/2023 17:30

I think this is one of those areas where the Highway Code doesn’t really reflect the reality of modern road conditions. Yes, people on the slip road should theoretically give way to those on the carriageway but if that means they need to come to a halt on the slip road as there are no gaps then that is incredibly dangerous and they’re never going to get into the carriageway because won’t be able to get enough speed up to join. Note the HWC also tells the slipway driver to match the speed of the carriageway. - ie recognises that it’s dangerous to be joining at a speed slower than the traffic. Once I pass the off ramp I tend to pull into the middle lane until the on ramp joins which I know is theoretically incorrect but at busy junctions where the slip road doesn’t become a permanent lane it clears the inside lane for the joining traffic.

bathrobeandpie · 24/10/2023 17:30

Looking at the twatty replies and the bad drivers on here, the daily nightmare of my motorway journeys make complete sense.

It's obvious many drivers can't actually drive, but it's frightening how many think they are too cool for rules or common sense, or more likely, they are the middle-lane hoggers who can pretend to ignore slip roads 😂

Having someone slam on their breaks in front of you is hilarious? god helps us.

HeadAgainstWall0923 · 24/10/2023 17:30

I haven’t read the thread OP because if the first page is anything to go by I imagine people are being shitty to you just because they want to be……..and I definitely want to see that!

Im glad you got home safely - you must have felt terrified and probably still do 😢

I hope your nerves ease a little as the evening passes but don’t feel hard on yourself if you’re still shook up as the days go by. It sounds very traumatic and I think things are always 100 times worse when it involves any possible harm to our children.

I know people aren’t allowed to give hugs out on Mumsnet but I’m still sending one your way x

Original poster
Usedandhurt · 24/10/2023 17:30

AuntieJoyce · 24/10/2023 17:26

Hope you feel better soon OP. Next time best to speak with family and friends not the tossers on this thread Flowers

Auntie that made me laugh! my dh is home now and I feel a little better. The funny thing is he is an aggressive driver and Im constantly telling him off for it. Im off for some wine and chocolates (and no driving for the rest of the evening ). I was going to say I will keep you all posted on the outcome but I dont think there is much point really. Again, thank you to the kind supportive posters. Night all

OP posts:
greenacrylicpaint · 24/10/2023 17:31

honestly some people really seem to have won their license in the lottery.

op not your fault.
I'm glad you are ok!
maybe consider a dashcam for the future to prosecute the shit out of dangerous drivers like this.

ConfessionsOfAMumDramaQueen · 24/10/2023 17:32

You should have anticipated it. If you couldn't see the bus from a while back coming down the slip road you need an eye test. It's basic hazard perception. You should have seen the bus a while in advance and anticipated what to do to allow it on. You should have realised drawing nearer your speeds were incompatible and that the bus was still speeding up rather than slowing down. You could have started to break several seconds earlier which would have prevented you needing to break so hard. The cars behind you were likely able to stop because they were prepared and had seen what was about to happen.

It's a big bus, you're in a small car. You don't sit there continuing at speed when they're clearly not slowing down and going to merge on because, whether you're right or not you still got hit by a big bus when you're in a small car. If I'm passing a lorry, especially if I see EU plates meaning the driver is on the other side so has an even bigger blind spot on the side you're passing, I will check there is space to move right over into the third lane if I need to before I'll attempt the manouvere. Just in case they decide to move out and haven't seen me. Because I know thats a situation where I'm going to come off very badly should the worst happen.

Treesinmygarden · 24/10/2023 17:33

Never mind driving licences - some people here shouldn't be allowed on the internet!!!

greenacrylicpaint · 24/10/2023 17:33

we had to do a full stop from 70mph on a motorway once after a lorry lost part of their load.
it was bloody scary and it was a miracle that no one else crashed into us.

Bluetrue · 24/10/2023 17:33

Sorry for the cruel responses on here OP

Glad you and your DC are ok, that's all that matters.

Cerealkiller4U · 24/10/2023 17:33

Also don’t busses have priority over nearly everything except pedestrians on a road? Or am I totally wrong with that?

AsWrittenBy · 24/10/2023 17:34

Treesinmygarden · 24/10/2023 17:17

Away and have a word with yourself!!! Cruel and unnecessary comment.

The OP is in shock here. WTF if it had been entirely her fault which it doesn't appear to be, she still deserves a little kindness!!

It's horrible @Usedandhurt. Maybe you need a little g&t *insert tipple of choice. There are some really really shit drivers on the roads.

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But how is she still in shock 45/50 minutes after - thats not a normal reaction of an experienced driver. There are idiots ALL over the road, if she is still trying not to cry that much time after the event, then maybe she is not cut out to drive

I have been driving for 30 years plus, and a motorbike rider too, and yes I've had my fair share of near misses, but none of them made me cry nearly an hour later

Marmalade71 · 24/10/2023 17:35

This is such a weird thread.

High percentage of drivers of German cars I assume 🤦🏼

Shodan · 24/10/2023 17:36

fedupandstuck · 24/10/2023 16:52

No one should be slowing down on a motorway to let traffic merge in from a slip road.

The bus driver committed a traffic offence. They must give way to traffic on the motorway. Forcing their way on and making vehicles brake hard to avoid them is the wrong thing to do. Dangerous and not a choice a professional driver should be making.

Exactly.

The bus driver was at fault here, not you, OP. Even a non-professional driver should understand the markings on the road, even if they have forgotten their highway code. The fact that he was supposedly a professional makes it even worse.

If there is no room to merge safely onto the motorway, the driver who is on the slip road must give way.

If you don't understand that, you shouldn't be driving on motorways (or anywhere else to which the highway code applies.)

Take care OP.

fedupandstuck · 24/10/2023 17:36

Slowing down to try to allow drivers on the slip road to join is dangerous. It is not something that the highway code even suggests you should do.

Rarely, a driver might need to come to a complete stop on the slip road. That is the less dangerous situation than trying to join where there isn't a sufficient gap and forcing other drivers to make avoiding manoeuvres.

SomeCatFromJapan · 24/10/2023 17:37

You can only pull over to let traffic on if there's actually a gap. It's good practice but if there's no room it doesn't entitle the vehicle entering the motorway to just try and put their vehicle molecules where your vehicle molecules already are.

But a lot of people just fuck themselves on, and for bonus points straight across all three lanes, without a care in the world, and I'm guessing a lot of them are the ones posting here.

Princesspollyyy · 24/10/2023 17:37

ConfessionsOfAMumDramaQueen · 24/10/2023 17:32

You should have anticipated it. If you couldn't see the bus from a while back coming down the slip road you need an eye test. It's basic hazard perception. You should have seen the bus a while in advance and anticipated what to do to allow it on. You should have realised drawing nearer your speeds were incompatible and that the bus was still speeding up rather than slowing down. You could have started to break several seconds earlier which would have prevented you needing to break so hard. The cars behind you were likely able to stop because they were prepared and had seen what was about to happen.

It's a big bus, you're in a small car. You don't sit there continuing at speed when they're clearly not slowing down and going to merge on because, whether you're right or not you still got hit by a big bus when you're in a small car. If I'm passing a lorry, especially if I see EU plates meaning the driver is on the other side so has an even bigger blind spot on the side you're passing, I will check there is space to move right over into the third lane if I need to before I'll attempt the manouvere. Just in case they decide to move out and haven't seen me. Because I know thats a situation where I'm going to come off very badly should the worst happen.

^^ exactly this. Basic hazard perception.

Also, with regards to keeping us posted, what exactly are you expecting to happen? Do you have dashcam footage? If not, all the police can do is speak to them about the alleged incident, their version of events may well be different.

WideLegPant · 24/10/2023 17:38

OP I've been in a collision (luckily small and no-one was hurt) and I felt just awful for days, I couldn't get it out of my brain. Be kind to yourself and give it time to get through your system. It just feels horrible no describing it. Flowers

NerrSnerr · 24/10/2023 17:38

*The bus driver was at fault here, not you, OP. Even a non-professional driver should understand the markings on the road, even if they have forgotten their highway code. The fact that he was supposedly a professional makes it even worse.

If there is no room to merge safely onto the motorway, the driver who is on the slip road must give way.

If you don't understand that, you shouldn't be driving on motorways (or anywhere else to which the highway code applies.)*

This is correct, but anyone who spends any amount of time on the motorway knows that lots of drivers don't give way so that's why it's a good idea to know who is joining from the slip road before they appear next to you and make sure there is space.

EmptyYoghurtPot · 24/10/2023 17:39

AsWrittenBy · 24/10/2023 17:34

But how is she still in shock 45/50 minutes after - thats not a normal reaction of an experienced driver. There are idiots ALL over the road, if she is still trying not to cry that much time after the event, then maybe she is not cut out to drive

I have been driving for 30 years plus, and a motorbike rider too, and yes I've had my fair share of near misses, but none of them made me cry nearly an hour later

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Didn’t realise shock had a time limit. Particularly as at the time she was more concerned with getting home safely and then when she’s had time to process what happened the shock has then set in.

SomeCatFromJapan · 24/10/2023 17:40

Also don’t busses have priority over nearly everything except pedestrians on a road? Or am I totally wrong with that?

Not joining a motorway they don't. The same rules apply to all vehicles, the vehicles already on the carriageway have right of way and those joining on the slip road need to match the speed and join at an appropriate gap.

This is basic stuff.