What age of parenting is most expensive?

[Beachwaves127]

Wondering what everyone’s thoughts are on the most expensive parenting age between 0 and 18.

I’m wondering if early years are because we’ll be paying £25k p/a nursery fees per child - although DC’s activities at this age are quite cheap and she doesn’t eat much / clothes are small sizes.

We aren’t doing private schools so struggling to think of an annual cost that will be more than the nursery fees but happy to be told wrong.

Just wondering between 0 and 18 so not considering possible uni fees.

Aware DC’s activities, clothes, food, hobbies will go up as she grows but as above surely not £25k worth of increases?

We have nursery, primary and secondary school age so can provide a good comparison. Our most expensive is the DC in nursery due to childcare and working part time but our teen would be just as expensive if we gave her everything she wanted in terms of clothes, going out etc. It is the equivalent to having another adult in the home but costs are more flexible such as £100 trainers aren’t essential, going out for dinner isn’t essential etc whereas nursery fees are non negotiable. Primary school age DC is the cheapest of the three.

You pay £2k a month for one child? That's a lot. I pay that for two and we have a fairly expensive nursery. Not the point of the post I know, I'm just surprised.

Agree, it's got to be.
Unless you weren't going to be working anyway.
Childcare costs are unbelievable.

Absolutely this. Preschool years were super expensive, plus p/t hours as 3 under 4. Primary years we had clubs and school holiday cover etc. For us high school years we're cheaper once no childcare.

About to have 3 in Uni so biggest cost yet... 😭

That said, our finances are better able to stand it these days, 15-20 years on, better incomes, lower (relative) mortgage etc.

It's partly about costs, partly circumstance. All relative.

Yes to pp who said nursery time and then uni. Nursery fees ( I had 2 in nursery for a few years as 17 months apart, only half the week but still a huge part of my salary) and now one at uni with the other following next year. Student loan didn't cover accommodation so DD has got a job and she is sent money once a month.

Your nursery is not that expensive if you are paying 2k for two children! I was also paying 2k a month, in SW London, for a single nursery place when I worked full time.

Teenagers.

My youngest is 3 so still in FT private nursery, childcare fees are crazy so I get that. Everything else is dirt cheap though, I can kit out his whole wardrobe for like £50 on Vinted. He doesn’t ask me for anything other than chocolate mousses, he’s great. He’d be happy with nothing at Christmas and on his birthday, he just likes the food!

Eldest is 13 and it’s a different ball game all together. Always on the want- can I have money for x y z and school uniform costs a fortune in secondary school, so do the trips.

1-3 was expensive for childcare but it was predictable outgoings. Late teens is completely different.

Clothes cost more for 1 jumper than several full outfits for a younger child. Footwear! So much and hard to get cheap versions that will last. School shoes, 2 types of rugby boots (for different types of pitches), trainers, shoes to wear outside of school, wellies and / or walking boots depending what they’re into. As things get bigger so do the piles of laundry and associated costs.

phone contracts, school trips, school equipment- computer, stationery, calculators, going out with friends, out of school clubs and associated kit, the food - so much food!

Then they leave school and need more clothes for college as they’re not in uniform, some of it specialist depending on the course. Travel costs to and from college. Friends from a wider area so more travel costs to meet with them.

Then come the driving lessons and insurance before the expense of uni hits.

@Sartre doess your teenager really cost more than your nursery fess though?!
I just can't understand that. I also have a 13yr old and, excluding school fees, the costs for us just aren't comparable.
We are now looking ahead to university and even if we fully fund I don't think we are looking at more than nursery fees. 9k tuition, 8k accommodation & 4k spending money.

It’s London 🤷🏽‍♀️ And not the cheapest option in the local area - but not the most expensive either!!

Uni

Between 1-3 was probably most expensive when paying for nursery full hours.

However 12 year old is getting pretty expensive again between school canteen money, clothes, skincare, expensive school trips and her hobbies.

I gave up work (as a nursery supervisor) when I had my first and became a childminder. So no nursery costs and I got paid for working at home.

Middle years weren't too bad except for clothes, they grew at an alarming rate but I bought most of their clothes 2nd hand. They both only really did one sport - cricket, cricket and more cricket which was a bit pricey but doable. Neither were very much into 'things' so Xbox and phones were Christmas presents.

But uni costs are crippling when you have two there! They both had jobs but the accommodation costs were ridiculous and then had to top up living costs too.

Teenagers.

My DD6 is very expensive as she does extra curricular activities every day of the week and as one of them is horse riding as she has her own pony she costs us more than when she was in nursery three mornings a week. By contrast my DS8 does less activities so costs less.

In our experience, young adulthood is when it gets expensive.

Driving lessons, car, insurance.

Uni accommodation costs plus expenses such as phones, bus passes, gym memberships. Post grad costs (just paid for master’s 🤨). Ours definitely cost us a lot more now than when they were kids.

My children have grown and I only have my adult daughter living at home now.

tbh I find it difficult to say which age is the most expensive, I think when you have 2 or more children there always seems to be one if not more that is at an expensive age. Just as you take a breath and think thank goodness that phase is over for child 1 child 3 needs become more and just know child 2 is waiting in the wings out growing clothes/wanting hobbies/prom/new bike/car it’s endless.

one think I did notice is you go up to age 18, I’m sorry but it really doesn’t stop there, they leave home and have children and need help with that especially at the moment with the cost of living. This week, child 2 needed money for a new washing machine and child 1 needed help with car repairs. I know child 3 is struggling and knowing I’ve helped the others doesn’t want to ask so I’ll have to slip him some cash this weekend. It never ends trust me

I found most expensive are pre school because of child are, but if you have a family member caring for your DC regularly then it's not so expensive. I also found 16-18 expensive because of increased pocket money, activities and school trips. Incidentally these 2 age groups are probably most exhausting too.

Mid to late teens.

Everywhere expects them to pay adult fare, adult ticket, adult meal, full priced everything (because of course all 14-15 year olds have jobs and will therefore contribute to their ticket to the zoo?!) Driving, school, university, it’s essentially funding another adult. In our case two at that stage now.

With the caveat that I could never afford to put my DC in childcare so never had nursery costs, and I didn’t suffer loss of earnings as I didn’t take maternity leaves etc (they came to work with me).

Uni years are the most expensive. But if you've done things right then the mortgage is paid off just in time to start renting a student flat. And generally you are earning more because you are in more senior roles.

Early years is hard because you have a mortgage (or rent) to pay and are still trying to climb the ladder.

Driving lessons kids can pay for themselves. Why do parents feel that they need to fund this 🤷🏻

I learned to drive once I had a full time salary as my parents didn't have any cash. I just got on with it myself.

Bus pass (Young Scot card for under 22s) and walking instead a gym membership unless they get their own job to fund it.

No child over age of 18 needs a gym membership paid for by a parent. They are old enough to fund that themselves - luxury! Where do you draw the line?

This is an interesting one as my upbringing i paid for extras as a teenager plus, so for example I also paid for learning to drive too out of my part time job income and savings, but my DH had everything paid for by his parents. I think my parents view was getting me to work hard and learn that money isnt free, but me and DH have ended up with the same career, salary etc despite the differing parenting styles.

So not sure what we’ll do with Dc at that age. We’re some way off though😅

@LeonBlack

25k???

It just raises children to be entitled and offers them no incentive if parents fund everything for them. Check out that magical money tree in the garden, Timmy!