Braggy Work Colleague

[fwiglette]

I’m new at my company. One of my managers is very very braggy when it comes to money. Always flashy and dropping into conversation about how much money she has. She loves telling people how much money she spent in Gucci or Chanel. She wants everyone to know she drives a Bentley. She’s always jetting off to Dubai or Mykonos and showing us all pictures.

We work in a field which is very well paid. If I were so inclined, and at my managers level, I’d earn enough for this lifestyle if I spent every penny and flashed the cash. She always brags about her husband. I researched him out of interest. Turns out he’s a car salesman and has other business ventures.

None of this would bother me if she didn’t make me feel shit about myself. She made a comment about how disgustingly cheap and ugly Radley bags are (I have one). She made a comment that she couldn’t believe a grown woman would buy clothes in M&S or Reiss. She clearly looks right down her nose at people with less money, even though she has no idea about them.

Find her insecurity and make comments about that. Make the idiot squirm!

Yawn every time she opens her mouth

Personally, I don't think these aren't the behaviours or comments of someone happy. I like nice things as much as the next person but she sounds desperate to impress and feel superior.

Comments about not being materialistic or valuing designer brands being for the weak minded who fall for marketing if you want to be petty, but generally I'd just think she sounds a bit sad and insecure.

It sounds like she spends every penny she makes. Don't feel intimidated. Feel sorry for her. This is someone who is going to be in major trouble if she loses her job or her husband leaves her and has a large mortgage for a luxurious house to pay off or credit card bills.

Let her boast. In this day and age, it's considered vulgar and sad. People who are respected when they boast about their wealth get something out of their wealth. Maybe they take exotic trips or do extreme sports. Some do things for charity. One of my colleagues just spent six months in a hilltop monastery in China learn an obscure martial art. Another one went climbing in the Himalayas. I wouldn't be boasting about having only purses and cars to show for my wealth.

I agree that she is painfully insecure.

And work on your own self esteem, because I would honestly pity her. I certainly wouldn't feel "put down".

I thought I was fairly well off but I can't afford Reiss!

She sounds very insecure.

PS I love Radley and find Gucci gauche, so your sense of fashion is way more stylish in my eyes.

And a boastful and bragging nature is a very ugly quality imho.

She sounds sad

Perhaps you can pass the occasional comment about how bragging is vulgar and reeks of 'new money" and "large debts".

"Yes what a lovely Gucci bag that is! I'm not at all into "stuff" myself, I'd rather buy a new outfit at Oxfam and save the money for a rainy day. I'm just not materialistic like that!" And then a tinkly laugh.

for me my response is, and.. i like to wear x, im usually in bright orange hi vis outfits, why, because i like them, other people think im odd, strange, etc and i embrace it, and say your point is ?

from game of thrones when tryion said wear the criticism like armor or something along those lines.

Honestly, why does she make you feel shit about yourself? She's obviously a prick.
Why do you let her impact your own self esteem?
Let it be water off a duck's back.

She sounds insecure and / or vacuous.

Ignore and remember people like different things.

I have several "fancy" bags (Chanel LV Prada tom ford Celine etc.).
One of my faves is a radley. I really rate Radley and fossil.
I don't wear the high end bags to the office specifically because coming in with a £5k bag when some of your reports are making between £23-45k a year is tone deaf.

Also...These days my cash goes on pensions and childcare 🤣

It sounds like she is under your skin... whatever you do...You need to find a way to square it off in your head or she'll be living rent free in a penthouse in your mind from here to infinity...

I used to work in a toxic environment like this. Everybody else was paid more than me, got higher bonuses, and wasted them on identikit mulberry bags because the senior director did. With my much, much smaller bonus I bought a small bag from Accessorize and was ridiculed over it. Eventually I got to the point where I had to leave. My boss said in 1-2-1 quite bluntly that I’d never be promoted, thinking I’d stay in my current role, but I applied for and got an internal move within a week, and then left the organisation altogether.

I’m grateful for the experience as it gave me the impetus to leave an extremely crap company and now I couldn’t be happier.

Perhaps use this experience to explore what else is out there?

Reiss isn’t comparable to M&S. Just saying.

Reiss is not cheap!! Ignore and walk off, what an insecure tool.

You could say you prefer to invest your cash to retire early and talk about FIRE, you could say you say you would prefer to give lots to charity that go down the Gucci route and buy expensive crappy you don’t need or you just think she has awful manners if that is all she talks about And try and rise above it.

Just because you have money to burn doesn’t mean you have to burn it.

omg, send her my way. I luffs smug people. I find them so entertaining. Like laboratory specimens, if I'm honest.

I would just ignore her, but kick back at the comments about your own gear ‘well I like my radley bag, I find them good quality’. ‘ I shop at m&s’. Or just plainly tell her to stop making the comments, you find them rude and unnecessary.
Other than that she just doesn’t sound like a very happy person for all her wealth.

Nevermind the put downs, she’s your manager- how do you go about getting her job? Sounds like she gets paid a lot more than you and is horrible so bumping her off, professionally speaking, shouldn’t be too hard. Aim at earning more then you can waft around sneering at how gauche it is to discuss how you spend money.
First step, be on friendly terms with someone senior to her. Next step, encourage to be snobby and awful when said senior colleague is around. Most important step, very gently respond in a socially adept and professional manner which demonstrates your great people management and leadership skills. Do this as often as possible- could be fun!

she is probably in debt up to her eyeballs, even if she earns alot. So there's that.

From experience of this over the years, these types usually have deep insecurities of their own and the bragging is a form of self worth. Maybe she didn't have much as a child, was bullied or some other insecurities- ultimately having flash things and letting everyone know bolsters their self esteem and makes them feel accepted.
It's sad really. These types always used to get under my skin, but now I just find myself wondering what made them this way and feeling sorry that this is the only way they feel they are worth anything.

Just say you have other priorities than using your income to pay for ridiculously over-priced stuff!!

Don't let her get to you! Tell her that you think people who are defined by designer gear are shallow!!

So she loves Gucci?

In the film, House of Gucci with Lady Gaga, most of Gucci's money came from the cheap knock offs in the market.

Ask her if she got her flash stuff from the market the way Sanjeev Bakshar did on The Kumars at No.42.

'hmm, never sure about Gucci, so hard to tell fake from real these days, what were the markets like in mykonos this year? have the authorities clamped down on the fake designer goods yet? "oh, I see they haven't " , never mind