Braggy Work Colleague

[fwiglette]

I’m new at my company. One of my managers is very very braggy when it comes to money. Always flashy and dropping into conversation about how much money she has. She loves telling people how much money she spent in Gucci or Chanel. She wants everyone to know she drives a Bentley. She’s always jetting off to Dubai or Mykonos and showing us all pictures.

We work in a field which is very well paid. If I were so inclined, and at my managers level, I’d earn enough for this lifestyle if I spent every penny and flashed the cash. She always brags about her husband. I researched him out of interest. Turns out he’s a car salesman and has other business ventures.

None of this would bother me if she didn’t make me feel shit about myself. She made a comment about how disgustingly cheap and ugly Radley bags are (I have one). She made a comment that she couldn’t believe a grown woman would buy clothes in M&S or Reiss. She clearly looks right down her nose at people with less money, even though she has no idea about them.

Presumably in your organisation there are people in support functions who earn a low salary or minimum wage as well as people in roles like yours and your manager’s? (IT help desk, cleaners, mail room guys, security guards etc) What is her view of people whom she knows full well do not earn enough to shop outside the High Street? I’m shocked at the comment about Radley, as I consider that to be way out of most people’s reach for a handbag, even if not the most expensive out there. Does she have any concept how offensive her comments are?

She sounds really thick, tbh, is she good at her job? I like the idea of getting yourself promoted into her job.

Money can’t buy class, and Mrs Gucci Knickers and her wheeler dealer hubby are probably in debt up to their eyeballs, but honestly who cares, just be professional and don’t bitch at work!

Why does it bother you so much what she thinks? What she says doesn't really need a reply, I'd just get on with my work, maybe an uh huh or other non committal response

I have two stock answers for this type of bullshit.
"Oh how lovely"
Or
"There We Are Then" an acronym (I think it's called an acronym) for TWAT.

That sounds about right. Your colleague sounds an insecure dick OP

Just yawn and say,

”Your insecurities are loud today.”

This. All day long.

OP she has rattled you and you are coming across as insecure. Your manager sounds irritating but how you let it affect you is up to you and only you.

She sounds insecure and is crass. They're probably up to their necks in debt because this kind of hollow-souled neediness can never be filled by stuff.

I can't understand why anyone would stick around to listen to her nonsense, or why this bragging could make you feel insecure.

"Yes, Gucci, how lovely. My grandma always said that money talks. And wealth whispers."

Why does it bother you?

How did she find out so much information about your husband out of interest?
Anyone can have most things it just depend how much debt you want to get into
Don't play her game, just say 'how lovely' every time until it gets boring

My boss was similar many moons ago. She was DEEPLY insecure and I assume it came from there.

Me too- excellent entertainment when you are stuck at boring work. I enjoy spotting the holes in the stories.

You could also entertain yourself by coming up with fun answers- “oh Chanel, yes my 9 year old will only wear their lipstick” or “oh yes, my X (insert person she would look down on eg hairdresser) has that bag” or “oh Gucci, I used to wear a lot of that until it became the fashion for county line gangs”, or “oh yeah, I saw that belt in the sale at the designer outlet too” etc.

It’s the kind of work environment where partners are expected to come to Christmas parties etc!

To wind her up, tell her you are inspired by St Francis of Assisi and like to live a humble life.

We have the opposite in our office. One of my team pleads poverty all the time, moans about the price of things, complains when he has to buy anything.

Turns out he just bought a house recently for £900k and has spent £100k putting an extension on. Hasn't told anyone at work that he's done so though, as it will spoil his "poor" image. Bonkers!

As for OP's manager I agree with PPs. It sounds like she's super-insecure and the only way to make herself feel better is to belittle others. Bet she was the school bully when she was a teenager.

And talk about their schooling PhD from Cambridge and earning prospects. Different world to mine. You know she's crass talking about her stuff, you know it cimes from insecurity or what ever ,I think you wanted people to pile on to her. Just ignore, rise above.

It sounds like a workplace that generally doesn't align with your values which can be difficult to navigate (I've been in a similar but diff situation)

All the pithy one liners people have given you, while amusing, aren't IMO that helpful.
You are clearly giving this woman a huge amount of headspace.
Like I said you need to find a way to square the circle and evict her from your mind.
Otherwise this will become all consuming.

I found that when I was truly happy with my own life choices/direction I really didn't give a fuck what other people did.

I worked with a woman who viewed me as a flaunter.
One of her weirdest accusations was that I was flaunting my wealth as I had 2 (two!!!) winter coats 😵‍💫 and was rubbing it in by leaving it on the back of my chair. It was my old winter coat which I had to use as a stranger had coffee spilled all over my regular coat. It was on my chair because I was called into an ad-hoc meeting when I walked in at 8.40 or whenever

1. 2 coats isn't the height of western decadence
2. Who the fuck even notices what nondescript Zara coat someone is wearing

For whatever reason she was jealous and my general existence was fairly all consuming for her. She'd probably have had a brain aneurysm if she ever knew I had 3 (three!!!) chanel bags... in fairnes she chilled out somewhat once her own personal circumstances improved... But it was weird.