Braggy Work Colleague

[fwiglette]

I’m new at my company. One of my managers is very very braggy when it comes to money. Always flashy and dropping into conversation about how much money she has. She loves telling people how much money she spent in Gucci or Chanel. She wants everyone to know she drives a Bentley. She’s always jetting off to Dubai or Mykonos and showing us all pictures.

We work in a field which is very well paid. If I were so inclined, and at my managers level, I’d earn enough for this lifestyle if I spent every penny and flashed the cash. She always brags about her husband. I researched him out of interest. Turns out he’s a car salesman and has other business ventures.

None of this would bother me if she didn’t make me feel shit about myself. She made a comment about how disgustingly cheap and ugly Radley bags are (I have one). She made a comment that she couldn’t believe a grown woman would buy clothes in M&S or Reiss. She clearly looks right down her nose at people with less money, even though she has no idea about them.

Do you respect her?

Would you like the stuff she has? If not, ignore her remarks- she’s a tool!

Each time she says it look at her a bit pityingly and say “are you happy though? No but are you REALLY happy?”

She sounds insecure and rude. You also sound a bit insecure - like you kind of agree with her that if you shop at Gucci you’re “better” than someone who shops at Radley. If you didn’t secretly think that, her comments wouldn’t bother you.

Focus on validating your own perspective - that a flashy label and flashy price tag don’t necessarily mean any substantial difference in quality, and that your confidence comes from having people perceive you for qualities more fundamental and enduring than your bank balance.

Don’t resort to snippy digs at her, it just makes you look as graceless as her. When she makes a rude comment, just smile and say, “Oh, do you think?” in a polite tone that nevertheless conveys you have zero interest in her response.

I was thinking the same. I’ve only had one colleague that comes even close to this, but her ridiculous boasting added a bit of interest to an otherwise dull day and I rather miss her for that! Her specialism was big spontaneous purchases and then not taking care of what she’d bought in the hopes we’d all be agog at how much dosh she must have to be so blasé.

God I'd just sniffily retort that I find brashly designer stuff tacky and don't need to buy myself 'stuff' that's grossly over priced to feel good about myself, delivered with a smile and little laugh of course.

I'd just smile at her and say one of -

"oh, you are funny" (twinkly laugh)

"I'm pleased for you"

"That's amazing"

"Well, it takes all sorts"

"It would be a boring world if we all liked the same things"

I wouldn't get into a discussion to justify anything, particularly if she's not your boss and it isn't relevant to the work you do.

Does she post in S&B on here?

Deeply insecure sadly

All fur coat and no knickers. Look amused and change the subject.

"My clothes cover my body, my bag holds my stuff and my car gets me from A to B - that's all I need"

Make a comment about the vulgarity of materialism and and always talking about money.

Those really aren't things I'd be impressed by or interested in. I'd just think she is a bit stupid and has poor taste, no manners and I'd avoid her. Be happy in your own life. She sounds a pain.

She sounds rank. Bentleys are so tacky in the wrong hands.

Nevermind the put downs, she’s your manager- how do you go about getting her job? Sounds like she gets paid a lot more than you and is horrible so bumping her off, professionally speaking, shouldn’t be too hard. Aim at earning more then you can waft around sneering at how gauche it is to discuss how you spend money.
First step, be on friendly terms with someone senior to her. Next step, encourage to be snobby and awful when said senior colleague is around. Most important step, very gently respond in a socially adept and professional manner which demonstrates your great people management and leadership skills. Do this as often as possible- could be fun

^This with bells on. Forget all of the amusing put downs. Work in why she's irritating you so much and how to get her job.

she is probably in debt up to her eyeballs, even if she earns alot. So there's that

I work in debt and that's probably more true than you realise...

Honestly, would I want her stuff? Not really.

I’d like the house in a nice area for sure.

I wouldn’t say she’s got under my skin. I wonder why she needs to say these things. I’ve put it down to the fact that she felt intimidated by my dh. He went to private school, grew up well
off, has a PhD from Cambridge, now is in a career that will easily pay £££ if it pans out.

I mention this not because I give a f*ck about how poor or rich someone was growing up, but the fact that her comments became 90% more frequent after she learnt this about dh.

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

Don't play the game.

Well that's a drip feed, why on earth did she need to know all that about your husband? Sounds like a toxic place to work. Odd all round.

Just say gosh, you have so much money, gosh aren’t you wealthy every time

Yes it sounds as though too much information has been shared. It does all sound very toxic

Haha yes, this 🤣 Possibly increased to "wow, you're just so much better than us plebs" as needed.

Oh gosh. We all know someone like this

Fiver says she grew up poor.

Insecurity

I don't get designer stuff and I don't know if it's because I am too posh or too common. I get - but didn't always have the funds for - buying John Lewis over George at Asda if you want a coat that won't go shiny or rip at the Zipline or whatever. I get that a leather bag will last better than a fake plastic faux leather. Other than that I just can't understand the mindset of spending 5k on a bag or 2k on a dress. It all seems a bit showy to me. I could afford it now, but why would I?

I have a mate like this

So flashy! Always posting on social media about the multiple holidays

She only wears expensive brands but always looks chavvy. A bit try hard IMO. All the gear, no idea

I often look like crap but I have nothing to prove to anyone.

I earn less than flashy mate but i have decent savings and i know she's struggling to pay a big bill atm (but still buying new bags)