Having one child… holidays are so much cheaper?

[Holidayflops]

We are currently on a luxury all inclusive holiday and absolutely loving it. We work really hard and have not experienced anything like this, ever. It’s a lovely treat.

We are pricing up returning, but we’re also TTC so looking at how costs might be for two adults and an infant. For whatever reason the resort we are at don’t charge for the first child until they’re 11, but do charge for the second child. We can holiday like this most years for however long we pay for one room (us + one child) but if you have a second child and need a room to sleep 4, you’re looking at an extra £2000 on the holiday. No matter the time of year you travel. 😮

The cost of living is so high that we were thinking of one child anyway, is there any point in having a second if that decision is going to affect everyone? For us it would mean, less holidays, less disposable income (nursery is so expensive for one let alone two). Sure they would have a sibling, but it’s not a guarantee as I don’t get along very well with my own. Thoughts? :)

is there any point in having a second if that decision is going to affect everyone?

No you’re right Op there is absolutely no “point” to having a second child. That’s what I think when we I look at my second. “What is the point of you”

😂

I don't think you're supposed to make the decision on finance alone 😁Especially not related to holidays !

Phrased badly, I accept. But more- if the decision to have a second impacts everyone in the existing family + the new child, is it really a wise choice?

I guess not. I just want to be sure they have the same opportunities- classes, swimming lessons, enrichment. It must be expensive times two

It's a perfectly valid reason actually. Any reason not to have a second is a valid reason, in fact.

You could save much more money by not having any.

Could go either way couldn’t it

I adore my siblings and we are very close

if it was a shit show - then I suppose I’d rather more holidays as a child 🤷‍♀️

No-one would have any kids ever if it was based solely on finances. Kids are a money pit!

I do sometimes think ‘what is the point of you?’ about DC2 when they are driving me demented. Love the costly bones of them though!

For many things 2 kids double the costs, for some things one child isn't much more but a second child pushes up the price disproportionately, for other things a second child isn't much more than one (entrance fees for attractions often are for 2+2 for instance. Have the number of children that's right for your family, but I'd say on balance the jump from one to two cost wise was smaller than 0-1. But mine are grown now

That's an odd setup on that specific holiday. Most places don't charge until age 2, regardless of number of children (and most day trips start charging at 3 or 90/100cm, depending where you go). I'd also add that usually when they don't charge it's because you're expected to share everything - your plane seat, your hotel room, etc.

The problems there are obviously you get zero privacy or space. I wouldn't want to share a hotel room on holiday with our children because they go to sleep at 7:30 and we don't want the lights off at that time. We usually book an apartment or suite which is naturally more expensive.

So those free places aren't all they're cracked up to be.

Holidays are much more relaxing now dc are 10 and 8 and play together but it is a high stakes game - if they didn't get on it would be a nightmare!

As a mum to an only and a single parent... holidays abroad costs me a fortune. It's cost me 2k for next year May just for 1 week! How much do you want another baby? Plenty of companies offer child free places you probably will just need to alter your destination.

On a serious note though. If things had of worked with DS dad I would have had baby no2.

I can't work out from your post, do you have child number one yet or is this all hypothetical?

I don’t think you should base how many children you have on AI holidays

Op you are TTC your first child

correct?

at the idea of deciding whether to have another child, because you've found one AI holiday place that charges in rather an unusual way.

That's hilarious.

I think I'd worry more about it when I had a second child. Either way, you have to factor in what's most important - the lifestyle you have now, or a larger family.

We found once we had DD, we actually chose to change the holidays we had as we wanted to do fun things she'd enjoy, beach, visiting somewhere with animals, play areas - we were happy, as she was happy. I guess this applies to many, as my BIL didn't want to give up longhaul holidays - he reluctantly agreed to a child with his much younger wife and believe me, his holidays are completely changed and he's still a very happy chap - and they've gone on to have more children.

I think your post is phrased rather oddly, we made a conscious choice to have one DC, we could have 'afforded' more but we are very happy with one DC.

Pre school childcare, holidays and private schooling (if this is an option) are the most expensive bit of a second child. It is a LOT more expense tbh. Unless holidays are camping type set up. The rest (food, clothing, hobbies etc) isn't a big difference.

Not much point to having the first one either!

Most holidays and tickets assume you have 2 kids in a family. Occasionally I see 3 children per family as a price for a ticket.

There's no reason to have a second child, apart from wanting a second child.

Having said that, as a parent of an only child by choice, the cost of a luxury AI holiday seems a fairly arbitrary reason to base a choice on.

I agree, badly phrased! It’s just another reason I’ve thought of, obviously after all of the other more valuable and important reasons like house size, careers, age, family support.

Funnily enough, we had the same discussion the other way round. We went DIY during the last holiday and aside from the flights, wouldn't have paid more for a second child as.all rooms had four beds. (We were in the US). But I guess you know it'd be short sighted to simply focus on holidays.

While finances are important, I'd also look at being time poor/time rich. Would you have enough time for your second child? For yourselves?

I think it's a really good point and something people don't often consider.

The expense and hassle associated with multiple children is quite significantly more than it is with just one. Obviously any child will totally change your life. But there's a big difference in lifestyle between a one child family and a 2+ child family, IME. (I have a ten year gap between DC1 and 2 so have experience of both).

It also changes the dynamics - this is worth considering. 2+ kids is the more classic experience where everything revolves around being child orientated most of the time. Whereas with one child they can kind of fit into your things a bit more easily.

It can be more intense to have one, if you're the kind of person to worry about parenting, development, behaviour etc. 2+ gives you a bit more perspective and you can't be so intensely into one of them because you have to split your attention and focus. This is not a universally good or bad thing, I think if you're very motivated by giving your DC experiences, advantages, coaching etc then the one child is much more sustainable. If you're prone to obsess in a bit of an unhelpful way and need encouragement to step back and unclench, the necessity is there with two+.

2+ feels like a crowd on Christmas, birthdays etc. One can be much quieter which, again, one way suits some people, the other way suits others.

I think lifestyle is so important to consider!