Having one child… holidays are so much cheaper?

[Holidayflops]

We are currently on a luxury all inclusive holiday and absolutely loving it. We work really hard and have not experienced anything like this, ever. It’s a lovely treat.

We are pricing up returning, but we’re also TTC so looking at how costs might be for two adults and an infant. For whatever reason the resort we are at don’t charge for the first child until they’re 11, but do charge for the second child. We can holiday like this most years for however long we pay for one room (us + one child) but if you have a second child and need a room to sleep 4, you’re looking at an extra £2000 on the holiday. No matter the time of year you travel. 😮

The cost of living is so high that we were thinking of one child anyway, is there any point in having a second if that decision is going to affect everyone? For us it would mean, less holidays, less disposable income (nursery is so expensive for one let alone two). Sure they would have a sibling, but it’s not a guarantee as I don’t get along very well with my own. Thoughts? :)

I've been looking for decades for an adequate description of my feelings on my second and OP has nailed it in her first post 😂😂.

Seriously I do think it's a bit weird your thoughts on having a second are can we holiday with two . I don't think holidays really entered my mind .

As I said there’s lots of more important thoughts (housing, uni support, childcare fees, etc) but this is just a thought occurred to me today

We have an only, and holidays have definitely been cheaper and more plentiful as a result. We've also been able to 'spoil' her, to give her opportunities that she might not have had, and now, as an adult we have been able to support her move to Uni and can afford to help her with the usual expenses, meaning that she can concentrate on her course and not need to rush out and find a job which would detract from her studies.

however, your holidays will definitely change! We had a few long haul / experience /luxury type holidays prior to having DD, these soon became AIs with kids clubs and entertainment- we didn't lose the luxury as such, never less than a 4 star, but they weren't exactly relaxing until she got a little older, then it was all about the water parks and we got to let her go off and do her own thing more.

She asked for a sibling between the ages of 5-7 maybe, but didn't care afterwards, and used to complain about friends with siblings and how noisy and messy their lives were! She loved spending time with them, but was also relieved to come home.

I only have one and he's nearly an adult, I think that almost everything and every stage has been so much easier having one than any of my friends with 2 or more. I wouldn't change it (or the holidays) for the world.

Why? It's a major issue especially nowadays. Many people stop at one child due to cost.

Perfectly fine to have one child if that’s what you want! Both my kids would rather be only children such is their contempt for each other…and undoubtedly cheaper to have one than two. However, you are in for a nasty shock if you think holidays with kids are going to be the same experience as holidaying as a couple!

There's a lot to be said for having one. But those who have one don't usually know what it's like to have two or more!

After a few years it's less work as they play together. They help each other learn and develop, strengthen social skills with each other.

My two wouldn't admit it, but they miss each other hugely if they're apart for more than a day or so.

It doesn't cost much more money, we get second hand clothes and eat quite cheaply. Holidays are normally a cottage that doesn't charge by the head.

Luxury type holidays are out anyway, nobody goes on them to listen to my kids yelling and wailing!

I honestly don't think that at the age mine are at (6 and 9) that I pay much more for holidays having 2 kids rather than having 1. We did an AI this year. I pay much more because they're at school and school holidays cost more. But yes, 2 children cost more than 1🤷🏼‍♀️

A luxury all inclusive won't be quite the same with a child sharing your room. You all have to go to bed at the same time or stay quiet in a darkened room after child has gone to bed!

Better to rent a cottage or villa. You can put child to bed then go and relax with a wine in the next room.

I have 2 op. I see your point too. Yeh more costly for sure. I def found 2 for childcare costly. Two was my limit

Yup

I would rather have children than luxury holidays, to be honest! An all-inclusive in Marbella ain't going to visit me in the care home

If you thinking in financial terms, don’t have kids. They are a terrible investment and costs £1000’s each year!

Having any children is going to bump your holiday costs for the first 18 years as you are tied to term time but really holiday costs are small fry and optional compared to childcare, Uni costs etc

I think finance and quality of life would be pretty high up the list though.

Have whatever sized family you want, based on your own priorities and restrictions.

Personally, I think having kids is the best adventure in life. So that's how we roll.

Yes, fewer children does turn out cheaper.

But holidays with babies and small children are hell on earth!

I personally couldn't imagine basing such a decision on something so shallow as whether or not I could then go on an all inclusive once a year or not 😳

My eldest barely remembers the specifics of holidays. What she does remember is the silly things her siblings have done over the years. That's what having more than one child is about. Making memories together. No matter where they are

Depends on what's important to you in life

We were only able to have one child. We are lucky to have her. It’s not what we planned but it’s turned out wonderfully. Yes she and we would have loved more but we are happy as a three and yes, we do get to have lovely holidays. That said we do not like to all
sleep in one room so we go for a suite or mezzanine so there’s a bit of privacy and we can be up once she’s asleep. So not always cheaper than having two. Plus we love holidaying with friends so it’s more fun for her. But anyway you don’t need to explain yourself for having any number of children, it’s your choice. Lots of people very happily have one and done. Good luck with your ttc journey.

Re hols - if it’s a uk holiday cottage/apartment about 90+% are for 4 people or more and no discount if you are only a trio. I remember saying years ago I didn’t understand why nearly all family rooms in hotels are for 3 but everything else in life is for 4.

Yes it’s extortionate but it’s like all circumstances you adapt.

I will say the biggest joy of my life, is my two girls playing together- their love, knowing they have each other gives me more joy than either have separately. But then I always wanted two.

Agree @OnlyFoolsnMothers A sibling relationship is the best gift you can give a child. It's not always good but mostly it's positive. My much longer for 2nd was twins. I wouldn't regret it for one second. We has a big gap and my 1st was a more difficult child so on balance the twins were easier. Life as a parent can be pretty shit anyhow, might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb as they say.

Financially the jump from 0 to 1 child is a lot bigger than 1 to 2.
If holidays, etc are the most important thing to you (and I am not downplaying their importance, I love holidays), then I would stick with 0 children.