Having one child… holidays are so much cheaper?

[Holidayflops]

We are currently on a luxury all inclusive holiday and absolutely loving it. We work really hard and have not experienced anything like this, ever. It’s a lovely treat.

We are pricing up returning, but we’re also TTC so looking at how costs might be for two adults and an infant. For whatever reason the resort we are at don’t charge for the first child until they’re 11, but do charge for the second child. We can holiday like this most years for however long we pay for one room (us + one child) but if you have a second child and need a room to sleep 4, you’re looking at an extra £2000 on the holiday. No matter the time of year you travel. 😮

The cost of living is so high that we were thinking of one child anyway, is there any point in having a second if that decision is going to affect everyone? For us it would mean, less holidays, less disposable income (nursery is so expensive for one let alone two). Sure they would have a sibling, but it’s not a guarantee as I don’t get along very well with my own. Thoughts? :)

Even without a free child’s place, it’s much cheaper! We usually end up getting upgraded to a 2 bedroomed “room” too which is great now DS is older. Last year, we had a mesanine (sp?) floor to ourselves and DS had the ground floor to himself with his own bathroom! Our friends who have 2 children were not happy that we got the same room as them for over £1000 less 🙈.

It's not just holidays as well, it's days out - entrance fees and snacks and lunch and drinks all adds up so much more.

People doing favours like childcare, putting you up for visits etc. No trouble with one, especially younger child. Once there are two or more the offers mysteriously dry up! It's totally understandable, I wouldn't expect someone to do that. But it all adds up.

You can get away with a smaller car or house with one child. Once you have two car seats and all of the paraphernalia, no chance, you need at least an estate.

What would be the impact on your dc if you were to stick at one?
A lot of only children report that they felt lonely and would have liked a sibling. Not all, but a lot.
I agree with pp that I've never seen any hotel charge like that, it's not usual that's for sure! So to tether your decision to that particular holiday deal is utterly absurd.

OP, I only have one but I'm a single mum. Even if I'd stayed with ex I don't think I'd have had another.

It became clear pretty quickly that I would need to cope on my own, and while we have a nice life, just ds and me, if I had to support two, as you say, it would be very difficult to give two dcs the same quality of life. Very difficult for me to work full time.

Holidays are the least of my problems though. I just book one room, twin beds and it works well. Being manless has its uses. 🙂

Thank you, this is so balanced!

That above comment was supposed to be a quote of @BertieBotts

I don't think there's any wrong or right answer to this really, comes down to your values, thoughts, exact finances and the lives you want etc. We have two DC, and can't sensibly afford holidays abroad and we are now ttc no.3. Neither of us went on holidays abroad as children and we both love and value our siblings.

I think it's 3 children that is the financial killer, seeing how so much is set up for 2 parents + 2 kids.

But of course 2 children are more expensive than 1. Normally not double the cost, though, as there are sibling discounts, family tickets, and you can reuse a lot of things from baby equipment to clothes to bikes.

Obviously everything is more expensive with two children but it's not automatically double the price.

We're just back from a 4* all inclusive with my 8 and 13yr old, one of them was a free place, so the way I see it the DC were half price, rather than one free. Things like eating out and cinema tickets etc can get pricey though., but often you get family deals making 4 roughly the same price as 3.

Because I have two boys a lot of things can be handed down so I don't need to buy ds2 all new wardrobe every year, he maybe only needs a top-up of new bits as the rest he can get from his brother in good condition. Same with toys and items like bikes, I've never had to buy ds2 a new bike as there's always the next size waiting on him.

The biggest cost of children isn't clothing, food or holidays though, it's childcare and loss of earnings.

Well the first child affects everyone in the family too. Your holiday might cost the same but the rest of your life won't
What's the point in having a first if that decision is going to affect every one?

@Esgaroth I agree. My neighbour said the same about having the 3rd DC.

Children are always a heart over head decision so if your heart is pushing you to do it again then enjoy your one child. Families are all shapes and sizes and no one is "better" than another. Like anything in life there are usually pluses and minuses to the situation.

For us our daughter completed us and satisfied my desperate desire to become a parent. I wasn't broody again after having her and we enjoy life as a family of three. If circumstances were different and I was a bit younger with family nearby I would have wanted another but then again that broodiness wasn't there after having her.

And yes financially we are much more free with only one to account for.

You realise you could have twins or triplets right of you TTC one? Perhaps you can just leave each one at home alternate years

I've one dc and it is so much cheaper. We are lucky to have 4-5 holidays a year but if I was to price up a second child it would be nearly 40% more expensive. We have booked a week in canaries at Easter with jet2 and it was £1200 for 2 adults 1 dc (free child place). My brother (2dc) was looking to come but they needed a 2 bed apartment and had to pay for the additional child so was coming up at 3k.

Among the many reasons we are happy to have an only child are the experiences we can provide for our child. Even if we have visited the same destination (at separate times) dd has gotten to do things that were not a possibility for her cousins because multiplying the cost to many children just makes it impossible.

just to be clear, if we travel or go on an outing with family, we stick to their restrictions and budget per child so there are no imbalances.

Surely you just look at it as you get a bonus free place for one dc? So having a child would typically raise the price, but you could get 11x years at this place for "free" so that 22k saved on not spending it on paying for your one dc to holiday with you is actually funding the costs of bringing a second child along

#girlmath

6 of us here! Holidays are always self catering in the UK. Different strokes for different folks. We are very happy with our set up and id rather have a large family than holidays abroad but equally if holiday isn't something you can comprise on for the sake of a second DC then that's what suits you!

I know it's mean, but I'm laughing because you think you can have the same holidays with DC as without them!

7 years and counting as to when holidays become more fun and less a test of stamina, patience and organisational skills.

Also there are some things we can't do with having 4 DC but family take our teens out so they don't miss out eg canoeing, things we can't do with 4 DC. For context one of ours has severe and complex lifelong disabilities so that changes our world somewhat!

Just don't have 3 kids. An odd number makes everything more expensive and difficult.

Phrased badly, I accept. But more- if the decision to have a second impacts everyone in the existing family + the new child, is it really a wise choice?

Yep, second children never bring anything positive to the family. Right bastards they are. Currently trying to offload ours on to a couple without kids so they can take advantage of the one child goes free up to 11 on some holidays, but no takers yet.

Be warned people.

I would rather have children than luxury holidays, to be honest! An all-inclusive in Marbella ain't going to visit me in the care home 🤣

One child is the greatest life hack ever! For this kind of thing and so much more. I read a study somewhere saying that parents of onlies are much happier and that their kids achieve better outcomes.

Mind you, from a kids’ point of view, holidays with siblings are much more fun. Not all onlies are lonely of course and some positively love it, but I know many adults who didn’t enjoy childhood as an only so that’s a consideration too.

No point to second children really made me giggle. When you look at it like that, there's little point to any of us.

But in earnestness, I have only one child and I do love the parenting/family lifestyle of being a family of three. We can afford to do more, have lots of 1:1 time and can build holidays/outings around what DD enjoys without having to compromise for a differently aged child. Plus, I really didn't cope well with the sleepless baby years.

There are downsides- I guess the guilt I feel if there is a day when I say I'm too tired to play is a lot more because she doesn't have a sibling to play with instead.

But after going on holiday with wider family and 2 weeks spent with her cousins, DD came home saying she was quite happy to be an only child who didn't have to share toys, deal with fighting siblings or stop an outing because of naptime. So I think overall we made the right choice for us.

Op can you clarify if you are TTC your first child?