Any other women never had much male attention?

[YearOfTheRear]

I often see on here about the relentless attention women get from men. I just can't relate at all, and I'm wondering if it's just me!

I'm currently 34. 5ft 3, throughout my adult life my weight has fluctuated between 8.5st and 11.5st (which seems to make no difference to how others treat me). Admittedly I'm not very into fashion and live in jeans and nice tops, but I do choose items which flatter my rather curvy figure (I'm a 32F). I don't wear much makeup.

I've had five medium-long term relationships but day to day, men never seem to notice me. I've never been wolf whistled at or spoken to in a flirtatious kind of way. I'm either very ugly or very unfriendly! I can't help but feel a bit sad about this!!

I am not particularly pretty but I have alway had a fair amount of male attention.

I must say though that most of it has been unwanted (inappropriate comment, being chatted up when I am just going about my business and so on) and unpleasant.

Frankly these days I just want to be seen as a human being, listened to and respected. I have no interest in being looked up and down like a piece of meat and leering.

So my point is I never particularly found men's ''attention'' a positive thing or something that would make me feel good about myself...just the opposite.

Recently a tradesman working in my house thought it was appropriate to refer to me as a ''good looking woman'' and when I went into a print shop last week the middle aged owner started chatting me up. Both made me feel really uncomfortable because this is not what I want when I am just conducting what are essentially business transactions...

I am not flirty in any way, I am middle aged and have no interest in ever dating again, so I am puzzled as to why guys would do this with me.

Not since I got fat and my hair fell out during Covid, so it's now in the horrible regrowth stage where it's not long enough to look pretty, but not short enough to look stylish.

But in my youth I had loads of male attention. It didn't work out well for the most part as those who approached me didn't show any respect.

Now I rely on my charming personality. And that gets me... not very far 😆

It's interesting to watch as the husband of someone quite attractive too. Your immediate thought is "dude, I'm RIGHT here!"...

It's also funny how it is only about 10% when the genders are swapped. I'm not 'handsome', comfortably just below average (which is nice as an introvert who likes to skulk in the shadows getting no attention)... but even my amazingly good looking male friends only get, by my estimation, 10% of the respective female attention that a comparable woman would get from men.

Never got any really. Hence marrying an unsuitable man.. i pursued him and married him even though i knew we weren't right for each other because i wanted what everyone else had.

Whenever I read comments sayin they are happy to invisible (older/later in life) I always wonder if they’d be so happy about if they had been so always.
And to have to live their lives alone too.
I doubt it.

@NameAU1, I have been largely invisible all my life, I can't stand flirting, and the only prolonged attention I've had from men was sexual harassment at work in the 80s and 90s. I would dearly love to live alone but as my mother's carer I can't. And no, I am not asexual.

Nope, very little. Have had various ONS with unsuitable men who presumably just wanted a shag, and a two-year relationship with someone with more red flags than a Communist parade. I was desperate for a relationship because all my friends were dating people, but it ended 10 years ago and I have been single ever since.

I think my male friends only saw me in platonic terms. I've always had attractive friends who had their pick of suitors, while I was ignored. It used to get me down but not these days (in my 40s); a friend is doing lots of online dating and based on her experiences I'm quite happy to stay single. I recently went out for drinks with female friends and they ALL got hit on while I was left alone. It was actually a relief.

Same here OP. All the talk of the relentless attention totally mystifies me. I never get any. I tell myself I must be too ugly to get any attention! I actually don't think I'm that hideous, but I cant think of any other explanation

One some women may see the attention as men being attracted to them . When in fact these men are just being very polite and friendly. So our prospective is very different. . And some beautiful woman don't actually care about what people think. My mother was incredibly beautiful. Still is but she old now . I remember as a young girl how men were around her . Buy it went completely over her head . Because it wasn't something she would ever care about. . My grandmother was equally beautiful. And actually hated people commenting on her looks . She found it shallow and pointless. . Even when I mentioned it . Nan some people .said you were so beautiful. She said don't say that. I said why she said because I didn't want my value to be how I looked .rather that I was supporting a Warrant officer in war . By taking my babies away from our home . My looks wouldn't have saved the war. . People think to much about looks . They need to develop their personality and that of their children. About the world around them . Not about who someone looks like . And she really, really didn't like it .. My mother didn't hate it . She just didn't reply . I honestly don't think people understand. There women that are beautiful. But there brain isn't that way . They just don't care

Zombie thread 😉

I have only ever had it from men I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. Never from anyone I was attracted to!

I did when I looked very small and very young, looking back I was actually a teenager or early 20s but looked under age. So a whole lot of creeps. I found a few grey hairs and some extra weight was enough to put those creeps off, I’ve only dated two people since then. One who I had fun with but wasn’t really attracted too, and the other who I had a long term relationship with. I was set up with both of them by a friend, as I couldn’t cope with online dating and don’t get out much! I’m not single again, more weight, more grey hairs, and a bunch of kids. I like the lack of creeps, but I wouldn’t mind finding a partner. That said to find a life partner he would have to accept me as the chubby, greying, average looking, leggings and T-shirt wearing person I am. I don’t even wear makeup or do my hair anymore! I do not factor being attractive into anything I do. Being clean and appropriately attired, but that’s it.