Does anyone else really dislike football?

[wildwoodflour]

Not a TAAT but I've just replied to a thread about things we don't like, but wish we did. My thing was football, and I wondered if anyone else feels the same?

I've never enjoyed anything to do with football, but since being with DP I absolutely despise it. DP got back into playing it after a hiatus a couple of months ago, and now I have noticed lots of nuances that MAKE me dislike it, which I hadn't thought about before.

This is what I put;

DP loves it. Plays for a local team every week and practices several times a week. Follows it. Watches England and local city each time they play.

This will sound melodramatic but believe me it isn't given some things that have occurred-it actually gives me trauma responses thinking about it. The days DP has playing then socilaising with the team are so horrendously boring I'd honestly rather be more or less anywhere. They talk about nothing else, they are so loud, they gamble over each other and they go on and on and on and I HATE it, hate it!

I wish I liked it. Wish I could enjoy the days out DP has, wish I looked forward to the matches, wish I enjoyed watching England, wish I loved socialising with DPs team.

I am a sociable person, love having a good chat, laughing, being a bit silly, I'll even drink far too much booze on occasion like they seem to do every week-but I CANNOT gel with them at all, any of them! They seem to be a different species. I have nothing to say to them nor they me.

I can just about enjoy being at the pub with DP while the lionesses are on probably down to copious amounts of prosecco.

But I don't generally like it. I hate it.

I am very judgmental about it too and this isn't like me- generally I am very much a live and let live sort of woman. I like doing/seeing/experiencing 'new' things even if they're not my thing. I don't clutch pearls at many things that I see bother people both in real life or on MN, but football and all that goes with it I do. I find the whole thing immature, silly, puerile, idiotic even. I know I am being unreasonable and I am sure many good people play, follow and enjoy it-I know I am-please anyone who follows football on here don't think I don't know that I am being awful-I do. B

But things have happened with my relationship due to it, and also, unrelated to anything personal, I see grown-ups acting in a certain way, showing off, the chants, the shouting- and talking none-stop about 'Fuh'-ie' for HOURS and hours and it has left me so lonely and upset so many times. Last time I joined DP at an event I was so so fed up, I was exhausted, hungry, tired beyond belief, couldn't stomach another alcoholic drink and so so bored. Such a killjoy when I am normally nothing like that. I asked DP for us to go home just a little earlier than scheduled and it was a no (and before anyone says why didn't I just leave, I couldn't, we live quite far apart and I had nowhere to go). It's taken much of my relationship and DP is a different person since playing.

I genuinely 100% wish I could join in! I really wish I could talk to everyone and enjoy it, wish I liked it, wish I 'got' it.

But I don't.

That was cathartic!

I hate it. Always have done. But I grew up in Glasgow where it's still used as an excuse for sectarian hatred. Hated watching my son play too, deathly dull. I can just about bring myself to watch the odd international but that's about it. Now rugby on the other hand.. can't get enough of it.

It's really boring. I can't watch any of it and I wouldn't like to hear about it. I have a friend with a husband who's an obsessed fan, he has to watch all the games, and plays in a local team, where their son also plays. I couldn't cope with that.

I actively hate it. DP and DD play, DP watches/listens more avidly.

The shouty reporting of matches on the radio triggers my misophonia, I absolutely can't bear it.

I'm the same about most sport, but will occasionally watch a bit of tennis or swimming or athletics or canoeing at the Olympics, say. Also actively don't care who wins in any sport, let alone football. Why would I care if England win or not? It baffles me that anyone does.

Why would I care if England win or not? It baffles me that anyone does.

I feel like this too. I dont understand it and I dont understand why or how DP doesn't understand that I don't.

I have no feelings about the game itself - it's a bunch of men kicking a bag of wind around a muddy field - but I intensely dislike the toxic masculinity and boorishness that football culture spawns. I hate the fact that domestic violence spikes when England loses. I hate the embarrassment of England fans abusing the hospitality of other nations. I hate the pressure on little boys to emulate the spoiled millionaire twats they see on television.

I love local football, as does DH. It's been a lifelong passion and I've made so many friends from watching. Not remotely interested in the premiership or international football, but I wouldn't change supporting my lower league football team for anything.

I find the 'kicking a bag' comments a bit bizarre, many/most sports involve kicking or hitting a ball, but it's mainly trotted out for football.

Not many sports with a blown up ball, perhaps? That are are well-known?

I would have liked to have made friends, I'd have felt much more comfortable with these outings if I'd have managed that. But nobody on the team DP plays for really wants anything to do with me. I remember once being called over to a table to sit with someone, when DP was busy gambling or something, but once I was there I tried to make conversation and they didn't give me anything back.

Me and my DP's friend's girlfriend both sat to watch them play once and I was looking forward to having a chat with her but I got one word answers each time

I am equally indifferent about other team sports. Football is the one with the stranglehold over male culture, though. It's also the one the thread was created to discuss.

Look I would love to enjoy football; it can be quite socially isolating to 'not get it'. But Football is mind numbingly boring!

Last year I made myself sit through the World Cup Final. About 10 minutes of it (Mbappe's back to back goals, bits of the extra time) were quite engaging. But that's a really poor yield for the 120 minutes of watching people pass a ball round and round and round.

Apparently that was a stone cold classic and one of the greatest matches ever in the World Cup...so if I don't get excited about that I must be missing something?

Other sports have a wealth of tactical options so even those who've never played can pick apart a game plan (cricket and rugby spring to mind). Or insane athleticism (yes, yes I know footballers are incredibly fit but you can't make an easy comparison of who is better athletically).

I don't think I'm hard to please on sporting spectacle - I love horse racing for God's sake! But I'm bloody baffled about how football, of all sports, is the dominant spectacle of all time.

And I'd really love to join in....

You don't have to stay with her.

No, I don't @RantyAnty . I am really upset though-things seemed to be going great until this 'hobby' came along. I've no idea when I'll see her again now anyway as I've told her no more 'Fugh-ie' in our weekends or rushing off at sparrow's fart to go and do it, she either gives us some proper time or doesn't bother.

So I guess that's that for now at least anyway.

@jollygreenpea

I was too! (regarding this) Though I was mildly pleased that the women did far better than the useless over paid over privileged men

@Mouseplant good point. I guess so that I could enjoy the time with DP and not feel so left out while they all talked about it :(

My BIL was a semi pro rugby player(I think? That's how he made his £, it was his career)but I am unsure I'd enjoy that either if DP played-if she was like this over it

@BeggyMitchell I agree from what I've seen-my DP is a woman though and more than just as bad as what many describe on here.

I've realised too-I have agreed to be DP's date next weekend at an engagement 'do'. That's on the Friday but she'll be playing football on the Sunday no doubt so I think I'll just come home that day. Even though It's a long drive, I'd rather be with her longer but I just can't cope with any more days like the ones of the past few weeks. I can't drink as much as them, I don't enjoy that. I enjoy having good chatty days over wine-but I hate all-day drinking for the sake of it then collapsing with exhaustion and that's what they seem to like to do. If I don't drink alcohol (I've tried that) it doesn't make much difference to me, I am still bored out of my brains, tired, hungry, fed up-I can't stand the all encompassing talk of football.. I can't stand how long the day is-I just want some time with her but the football thing seems to turn her into a mindless drone of some sort and I can't get a conversation out of her, nobody else wants to talk to me either. I miss the days before she played when she'd actually spend some time with me.

I realise I am using this forum like a blog, now!

Hate football and everything it stands for - hairbands on men, WAGs, the money involved.....and then the coverage ......it's constant!

I have sons who thankfully enjoy rugby far more....

I hate the culture around the male game more than the actual ball game iyswim? All the tribalism, the huge male crowds wandering around sounding like the bunch of apes they are, getting into fights and being in foul moods about which of 22 grown men kicked a ball in a slightly off way. I grew up in a male dominated household where football mattered hugely, to the point of screaming and shouting and throwing things. Not actual domestic violence, but not nice. And naturally girls and women were being evil if they didn’t drive the men there and back, give up their own hobbies, cook meals and have the house tidy…. It’s all about male domination, including the insane economics nowadays.

@RosaGallica I agree, definitely. It just symbolises so much that's wrong with our gender defined culture. It's awful. I have a two-fold dislike of it one being the sort of thing you describe and two being how it has affected me and my relationship with a football-obsessed female partner.

The problem isn’t football really. If your partner was doing any activity that excluded you in this way you’d feel the same.

You do seem to look down your nose on it all (fuh- ie etc) and it’s entirely possible the team are picking up on it and not including you much on this basis. I find it difficult to imagine that during a long session in the pub there are absolutely no other topics discussed that you can get involved in. I love football and will pretty much watch any match but even I would struggle to talk about football to the exclusion of any other topic on an afternoon on the sauce.

Anyway, if she doesn’t take it on board then really the only option you have is to knock it all on the head. You aren’t unreasonable for wanting to spend more time with her but if she isn’t willing to compromise then I don’t see you have another option.

I like the sport but not sitting through full matches unless it's a huge game. I like Match of The Day and finding out who's up and who's down, watching the goals and exciting plays. I also like some of the commentary programmes around it like Gary Neville's Youtube channel etc where they mix it in with anecdotes about their playing days.

It must be odd if you can't find the euphoria and emotional connection to sport. I can get into most things and find big events like the Olympics and big finals very emotional.

@EddieHowesShithousingMags I didn't used to! I went into it with a totally open mind, looking forward to it, I like doing things that are different to (my) normal and was glad she had found something-I looked forward to seeing her play. I do look down my nose at it now though as I said in the OP, it all seems so awful, everything about it not just what it has done in its effects on me. I did my best to make conversation each time right up until the last one but they just seem so off with me.

You may find it hard to believe but I assure you, it really is all they talk about. I mentioned this to my partner, that I found it odd and she affirmed it, her reply was 'Yeh that's all it usually is just talk about footy'. There may be a couple of seconds 'Where's so and so' or 'get me another beer please' or 'We're doing XY tomorrow' but that's it and I don't know anybody so I can't really join in with that.

It's true, if she was like this about anything else. I have my own hobbies but I don't have anything I am so all-consumed by and I dont think I'd want to.

@TodayForTomorrow I can feel that way watching musicals and things like that, I cry watching sad adverts and emotional BGT clips and things! But I've never watched the Olympics. I might try to find some clips on youtube and see if I have an emotional response. I am a very emotional person but I've never felt that about any sport that I can think of. DP isn't very emotional at all and admits it, I dont know what it is about football that captivates her, she says 'It's the only exercise I get'. When I expressed how I thought she was unfair leaving me on a morning after not much time together she said something like 'What am I supposed to do I like playing footy'. Quite cold.

I cannot stand it. My 'd' h is OBSESSED with it and it comes before everything else. It is his absolute priority. It is ONE of the reasons for me never wanting to be around him. The other reasons are to do with him being 'shouty' and 'angry' at times. Maybe the culture of football allows for that type of character.

That's sad @ChangedName654321 same as people have said to me though, that sounds as if there's more occurring for you?

I never thought I'd be in a position like this. Being a lesbian for a start surely cuts the chances 😃but I am where I am. It costs her £15 a month to be in that club which I guess is why she won't ever miss a match but although I've committed to being her date for something that I'd forgotten about, I will be coming straight back afterwards. I don't want to be around that sort of culture (clutches pearls.. Not really) I am normally so open minded but I just cannot bring myself to be okay with anything football-esque now.

Trauma responses from boring football? Have you been through actual trauma in your life? Jesus fucking wept. Think before you type.

I was typing a reply then, but I composed myself.
What do you mean, please explain?

And sorry, no, the trauma didn't come from being bored.

@gizmo sorry I missed your post. Yes, it does feel isolating, as if there's something wrong with me for not 'getting' it, when I am around her friends and family especially. I don't know much about any sport as I've said, but I'd honestly rather watch any other I can name, if I had to watch one.

I work alone and usually from home now, but when I didn't I remember feeling quite left out and unable to join in discussions as everyone seemed to be interested. So I've always had that although the major dislike for it has occurred more since she began playing, her treatment of me combined with things I've learned about it.

Hate it. Absolutely despise it. Hate how the country has to come to a stop when there's a big tournament, hate the fact that when the men were playing a big match someone went out in our town and soraublainted England flags on all the mini roundabouts and they're STILL there (looking shit now like all spray paint does after a while especially after being driven over) and everyone just went 'oh well it's for the FOOTBALL' rather than actually this is quite large scale graffiti that our town council can ill afford to clean up. And of course nothing similar was done for the women's tournament.....(not that I'd want it to but the hypocrisy was marked 🤔)

My youngest son is into football since starting school and was desperate to join a team this year so despite my misgivings I signed him up and his behaviour became utterly atrocious, completely laddy and awful. He's no longer a member of the team and we're getting back to normal service. Plus the commitment was insane whole weekend wiped out for one 7 year old's football schedule and it was just 'how it is'. Never mind the behaviour from the other parents and coaches from the sidelines.
DS knows my feelings about professional footballers and their behaviour and how he is NOT to look up to them at all, I think they're dreadful role models. The whole culture of football stinks