Does anyone else really dislike football?

[wildwoodflour]

Not a TAAT but I've just replied to a thread about things we don't like, but wish we did. My thing was football, and I wondered if anyone else feels the same?

I've never enjoyed anything to do with football, but since being with DP I absolutely despise it. DP got back into playing it after a hiatus a couple of months ago, and now I have noticed lots of nuances that MAKE me dislike it, which I hadn't thought about before.

This is what I put;

DP loves it. Plays for a local team every week and practices several times a week. Follows it. Watches England and local city each time they play.

This will sound melodramatic but believe me it isn't given some things that have occurred-it actually gives me trauma responses thinking about it. The days DP has playing then socilaising with the team are so horrendously boring I'd honestly rather be more or less anywhere. They talk about nothing else, they are so loud, they gamble over each other and they go on and on and on and I HATE it, hate it!

I wish I liked it. Wish I could enjoy the days out DP has, wish I looked forward to the matches, wish I enjoyed watching England, wish I loved socialising with DPs team.

I am a sociable person, love having a good chat, laughing, being a bit silly, I'll even drink far too much booze on occasion like they seem to do every week-but I CANNOT gel with them at all, any of them! They seem to be a different species. I have nothing to say to them nor they me.

I can just about enjoy being at the pub with DP while the lionesses are on probably down to copious amounts of prosecco.

But I don't generally like it. I hate it.

I am very judgmental about it too and this isn't like me- generally I am very much a live and let live sort of woman. I like doing/seeing/experiencing 'new' things even if they're not my thing. I don't clutch pearls at many things that I see bother people both in real life or on MN, but football and all that goes with it I do. I find the whole thing immature, silly, puerile, idiotic even. I know I am being unreasonable and I am sure many good people play, follow and enjoy it-I know I am-please anyone who follows football on here don't think I don't know that I am being awful-I do. B

But things have happened with my relationship due to it, and also, unrelated to anything personal, I see grown-ups acting in a certain way, showing off, the chants, the shouting- and talking none-stop about 'Fuh'-ie' for HOURS and hours and it has left me so lonely and upset so many times. Last time I joined DP at an event I was so so fed up, I was exhausted, hungry, tired beyond belief, couldn't stomach another alcoholic drink and so so bored. Such a killjoy when I am normally nothing like that. I asked DP for us to go home just a little earlier than scheduled and it was a no (and before anyone says why didn't I just leave, I couldn't, we live quite far apart and I had nowhere to go). It's taken much of my relationship and DP is a different person since playing.

I genuinely 100% wish I could join in! I really wish I could talk to everyone and enjoy it, wish I liked it, wish I 'got' it.

But I don't.

That was cathartic!

Loathe it. The sound of it on tv enrages me, the inane commentary, the herd mentality of the crowd. And the racism and homophobia are gobsmackingly appalling. XDH was obsessed. One of the many drivers of our divorce.

@discoafters and others, we live quite far apart (due to other nuances although we used to live together!) and if I go for the weekend one day at least consists of it. I've tried to not mind the arrangement but I think it's come to a point where i am just not going to go any more. It used to be things like a nice walk, a pub lunch, going out for some social drinks, seeing local attractions or having some sort of day out and staying and having a romantic night in.

Now, It's football at a friend's house one night, football somewhere else Saturday-football team match on Sunday (sometimes involving a coach trip somewhere with the 'gang' and it is such a 'gang' mentality!) then drinks and football chat all day/night. It makes me upset and as if I am nothing. I agree with a PP who says I may be blaming football for things that aren't 'its' fault but unrelated to that, being involved has made me have to learn more about it as a sport, and what I've learned, that's nothing to do with me and DP, I really really do not like!

I also worked for the police for a few years and the training we had and also the proof being in the pudding so to speak, domestic violence and violence toward children being so much more of an issue whenever a 'big' game was on. Ugh, sorry. I just hate it.

I’m not sure it’s the football that’s the problem here tbh OP, having read your update.

There are lots of positives about football too OP. I appreciate there are the negatives you’ve mentioned. However it sounds like because you hate football you are understandably looking for and only at the negatives.

Football is one of the only sports that is effectively free for children of all backgrounds to play. They just need to grab a ball (ok that costs something but minimal) and some pebbles for goals. It therefore is a sport that allows children from all walks of life - including deprived inner city kids - to get out and play sport. I love seeing kids out and about kicking a ball around. For me this is SO important and no brainer - other sports are much more restrictive and non inclusive - tennis, rugby, hockey, swimming - all require more costs and a non inclusive environment so are not available for all kids. The rules of football are simple and everyone can understand them.

Some football clubs are more violent than others and yes you do have people that take it too far. However if you look at the percentage of people who watching and discuss football - most are ordinary people.

It’s also a great way to connect. I love landing in countries abroad - Seychelles, Mexico - in fact anywhere, and I find often one of the first topics the taxi driver is keen to discuss on the trip from the airport to the hotel is about football, the World Cup, the premier league. It’s a common language across many if not all countries in this world and I think it’s great to have something to unite everyone with. Actually I think it’s amazing to land somewhere 12 hours away with a completely different culture and find something in common immediately. Similarities unite.

It does sound like your DH is taking it too far in terms of your relationship. I think football can bond men in no other way as it offers them something to talk about and connect on. Without having to discuss emotions as such. Is that a bad thing? No. But time needs to be carved out for you away from football - I agree! As my prior message, I wouldn’t marry someone into rugby as I couldn’t think of anything more boring than sitting down on a Saturday evening to talk about rugby. It was a non negotiable for me in a relationship. if you hate football that much maybe it needs to be for you too.

As a side note, I’m saddened at the couple of people on this thred saying they hate sport in general - I really feel for you. Sport in general is an amazing way to boost both health, fitness and mental health!!!! If football isn’t your thing, fine, move on, but please find some form of sport you enjoy doing, or if unable to play, watching!

I hate it. Watching it, the tribalism, the drunkenness, the ridiculous fuss over some chap who can kick a ball straight (or curved). It just leaves me cross-eyes with boredom.

DS dislikes it too and that meant he was isolated at primary because all the other boys were obsessed. Thankfully senior school is not football obsessed, and generally more intelligent..

@Beachwaves127 That whole 'sport is a wonderful thing' line is so lacking in comprehension, it makes me want to scream.

Sport at primary school reduced my happy go lucky, cheerful, intelligent ds to a miserable, withdrawn child who, after yet another sports day of ritual public humiliation, calmly and icily told me that if he ever had to do that again he would step in front of a lorry.
Thankfully his senior school knew what they were about, backed off with the 'sport is marvellous' crap and set about undoing the damage, teaching self confidence and self worth for those with no hand-eye co-ordination, offered alternatives to bloody team sports and stopped the teacher-enabled bullying.

Thank god for intelligent competent teachers.

Football is also the only sport that seems to incite delusions in boys. If I had a pound for every lad I've taught whose career ambition is 'to be a footballer', I'd be retired. I mostly manage to keep the eye rolling hidden, but it's a close run thing sometimes.

I also loathe the blanket free pass that our school gives football-playing students to miss lessons for 'fixtures'. Not once, not one solitary time, has a child who's been absent for a 'fixture' asked for the work they have missed, to catch up. Despite the reassurances of the PE Dept that they have been told they need to catch up. They just fall behind, because they have fully functional legs and kneecaps. What a waste.

Hate it. Even the commentary winds me up.

It sounds a lot like what you actually hate is your boyfriend and everyone he associates with?! Why are you with him when you’ve so little in common? I love football although I know there’s plenty of problems in it, but even as a matchgoing fan it doesn’t sound like it dominates my thoughts or my social life in the way it does yours. Also ‘football’ isn’t just one thing - we don’t support England and that really helps to cut out knobhead exposure. Nor is my husband a knobhead himself, nor are our friends, and again that makes the whole thing much more enjoyable.

Also the notion of rugby not inspiring reprehensible behaviour is laughable. Ditto cricket and pretty much any male-dominated sport with a drinking culture among fans.

My in-laws hate me because I don't like football. I've never stopped anyone going or watching or supporting but they quite obviously can't comprehend me at all. At a push I quite like being in a stadium with everyone singing and some of the songs they make up are very funny. But I rarely go now and never watch it on TV.

I feel we've had to encourage ds to at least know the basics of kicking a ball though as being able to have a kick about is like a universal male currency. And "see the game?" is networking gold in many industries.

Lucky as I have a dh and two sons who are not into it at all. They might watch the World Cup ( on occasions that England are playing ) but even then it's very half hearted.
I was glad I was never a ' football mum '

I hate it as well. I just can't muster any enthusiasm for it. I think the 'hate' comes from it dictating life when I was a child. Football always came first on TV, regardless of what was on that I wanted to see. Some kids at school were almost obsessed so you had to pretend to like a team they liked or you'd be ribbed mercilessly.

Sounds silly when writing it out but hey ho.

I don't like it it's the most horrendously boring sport. However I think the bigger issue is that you seem to think you and your husband have to have the same interests. If he's at football you don't have to go stay home go do something else. When we first started dating I went to a game with DP. I was honest said nope not for me you crack on.He still goes with his mates and I do my own thing. It's OK to have different interests.
He also plays on a sports team ( not football but another one I have no interest in). I don't go to his games or training. I sit home and watch the crappy teen dramas that he hates watching 🤣

ill watch it occasionally, but dh watching it at home with his son and dad means lots of shouting and swearing….which they aren’t like at all if not football. So I go do my own thing.

I think you’ve got other things than football going on….

I have a son and I have grown to enjoy football since. I watch him play. Sometimes go to a proper game but mostly leave that to him and his Dad for Daddy time. I wouldn't go to a pub to watch it though. Too much shouting and over the top behaviour for my liking in the pubs. It's good if your dh plays sport. I encourage anyone to get exercise. Yeah it's on TV a fair bit but so are traditionally female orientated programmes such as soaps, etc, is no different really.

Could it be you’re a bit jealous that it takes his attention away from you.

If you hate football why on earth do you go to the pub to watch it
Surely you just say to boyfriend ‘ no thanks’ and do something else

Hate it as well as most of those sport

Agreed. Can't bear it.

I loved France '98 but think that's cos I was a young teen then and got swept up in the atmosphere surrounding the tournament in the UK.

My dad was never into football, but DH is. He's massively into our city team and has recently started following a local team with DS. Football takes up the majority of his weekend (whether coaching or watching).

I've been to a few matches and find it so mindnumbing it's unreal. In big stadiums, I have no idea which player is which and get confused at half time when they swap ends and forget what goal "my team" is attempting to score in 😬DH recognises players by the way they move and knows everything there is to know about his team, the youth squad included.

DH also plays midweek but he would always put our family first ahead of football, so it's not like I'm a football widow.

I just don't understand the attraction of the game at all. I find it all so boring.

i hate it. its all thanks to my brother.years of ruined birthdays because of a big match and the house full of his mates. no room for anyone to visit me. (complicated living situation at the time) made sure any bf I had was not in to it. so happy to say dh hates it and we have a son who does too.

I don't hate football - hate is quite a strong emotion to attach to a relatively trivial pastime - but I really have no time for it. In fact, I'm not a sports fan by any means, which is somewhat alienating for me working in a male-dominated business (I know, women are sports fans too 😉 ). I'm also honest about it. You'll never see me feigning interest in an international tournament because 'it's England'.

I cannot stand it. I find the game boring. The pathetic cheating antics of the players annoy me, pretending to be hurt etc. Their off pitch behaviour is sometimes disgusting but probably to be expected of young men paid too much and led to believe they are special. They are for the most part terrible role models (with some exceptions). The tribal behaviour of the fans I find inexplicable and childish, I cannot empathise with grown adults who get upset because 11 men they don’t know get beaten at a sport. Or decide to beat up their wives because the wrong team won. Or dislike other people purely because they support the “wrong” team.