Does anyone else really dislike football?

[wildwoodflour]

Not a TAAT but I've just replied to a thread about things we don't like, but wish we did. My thing was football, and I wondered if anyone else feels the same?

I've never enjoyed anything to do with football, but since being with DP I absolutely despise it. DP got back into playing it after a hiatus a couple of months ago, and now I have noticed lots of nuances that MAKE me dislike it, which I hadn't thought about before.

This is what I put;

DP loves it. Plays for a local team every week and practices several times a week. Follows it. Watches England and local city each time they play.

This will sound melodramatic but believe me it isn't given some things that have occurred-it actually gives me trauma responses thinking about it. The days DP has playing then socilaising with the team are so horrendously boring I'd honestly rather be more or less anywhere. They talk about nothing else, they are so loud, they gamble over each other and they go on and on and on and I HATE it, hate it!

I wish I liked it. Wish I could enjoy the days out DP has, wish I looked forward to the matches, wish I enjoyed watching England, wish I loved socialising with DPs team.

I am a sociable person, love having a good chat, laughing, being a bit silly, I'll even drink far too much booze on occasion like they seem to do every week-but I CANNOT gel with them at all, any of them! They seem to be a different species. I have nothing to say to them nor they me.

I can just about enjoy being at the pub with DP while the lionesses are on probably down to copious amounts of prosecco.

But I don't generally like it. I hate it.

I am very judgmental about it too and this isn't like me- generally I am very much a live and let live sort of woman. I like doing/seeing/experiencing 'new' things even if they're not my thing. I don't clutch pearls at many things that I see bother people both in real life or on MN, but football and all that goes with it I do. I find the whole thing immature, silly, puerile, idiotic even. I know I am being unreasonable and I am sure many good people play, follow and enjoy it-I know I am-please anyone who follows football on here don't think I don't know that I am being awful-I do. B

But things have happened with my relationship due to it, and also, unrelated to anything personal, I see grown-ups acting in a certain way, showing off, the chants, the shouting- and talking none-stop about 'Fuh'-ie' for HOURS and hours and it has left me so lonely and upset so many times. Last time I joined DP at an event I was so so fed up, I was exhausted, hungry, tired beyond belief, couldn't stomach another alcoholic drink and so so bored. Such a killjoy when I am normally nothing like that. I asked DP for us to go home just a little earlier than scheduled and it was a no (and before anyone says why didn't I just leave, I couldn't, we live quite far apart and I had nowhere to go). It's taken much of my relationship and DP is a different person since playing.

I genuinely 100% wish I could join in! I really wish I could talk to everyone and enjoy it, wish I liked it, wish I 'got' it.

But I don't.

That was cathartic!

Loathe it! The racism, homophobia, and misogyny not to mention the violence and herd mentality and drinking culture. When I lived in London (a while back) it wasn’t safe to go out when a local match was on.

I quite like Gary Lineker and Marcus Rashford though.

Another vote for loathing football. I think the reasons have all been covered already. Yes, it's great that women get equal footing with men now etc etc but I'm afraid, to me it is just more of the same. And it never ends - there's always the next match/tournament to watch. It also magnifies some of what is wrong with society eg, violence, aggression, loutishness, hating of otherness, and vast pay checks while doctors and nurses have to strike to get just a living wage.

I don’t mind the matches, but cannot bear the tribalism. My children have played football and rugby, as I did myself. I’m happy to take them to any big matches where the crowds do not need to be segregated. When we go to Twickenham, the crowds are a lovely mixture of people (often a bit drunk) and there is laughter and good-natured ribbing. Travelling in the crowds to a football match is a whole different experience - you can feel the aggression and anger. That carries onto the pitch, where there seems to be no respect for the referee.

I prefer women’s football to men’s. Less
pretending to be injured. Better sportswomanship.

I hate it and the culture around it. The worship of these millionaires is pathetic.

I love football but cricket and any talk of cricket bores me to death. I’d say the issues you have aren’t necessarily caused by football, but by your partners strong desire to do something they know you dislike for a large part of your time together. A little bit of what you fancy is great but when it comes at the expense of your relationship you have to decide what is more important. Personally if DH and I ever split up then any future man for me would need to have more than a passing interest in Newcastle United and football as it’s such a big part of my life, going to games, watching on tv, playing FPL etc.

I can't stand it either.

I have never liked it, if you walk past a game in the park it sounds so aggressive.

When I flat shared and I had a TV I told my housemates it didn't get football, ever.

OP

If you are ever in Wolverhampton the day of a big game contact me, the local carvery has no TV and it is so peaceful.

It’s not just the spitting and rolling around in ‘agony’ I loathe, it’s the ‘money-money-money’ - the ludicrous salaries and transfer fees, the greed and corruption in FIFA, they way kids are ripped off for those horrible polyester ‘must-have’ strips.

Not to mention the behaviour of some of those thugs who call themselves fans - fighting the other team’s supporters, booing during national anthems - and the fact that football chiefs do nothing about the latter. Why aren’t there automatic penalties if e.g. supporters boo during a national anthem? One automatic goal to the other side even before it’s started, ought to do it!

I love sport, and my life has always been organised around various races/games/fights, but I loathe everything about football - the culture, the droning noise of the crowd, the DV spike when England play, the chimp-like violence between fans.

I enjoy it. DH and I have season tickets for a London club (although we're so crap at the moment I'm not sure if we should admit it!). I like going to games and having a drink afterwards. We're in a group of very old friends who don't live close to one another, so it's nice to catch up at matches.

That said, I absolutely loathe the tribalism, the nasty chants, the aggression of some fans, the behaviour on the trains before and after games etc. Thankfully DH feels the same way as I do about all that, and we steer well clear.

What also does annoy both of us is the change in times of the games to suit tv audiences, so you think you're going at 3pm on a Saturday, and then find it's changed to Sunday, or Monday, or 5.30 on a Saturday evening for instance. As we live further out of London now, and the train services aren't as frequent as we were used to it takes a bit more planning to go. I think we're going to make this our last season and give up our season tickets at the end.

DH will watch it on tv - certainly he will watch our team's games if he's in or he goes up the pub with one of his mates to watch a game as he knows I'm not fussed about watching it on tv. He's relaxed about watching all the England games, only if we aren't doing anything else. He definitely is not one of those who lets it affect his weekend, or has an attitude change if our team lose, unlikely some of the posts on here. In that I am very lucky that he has a relaxed attitude to it all.

I was never a fan and my DP isn't that big a fan, he much prefers other sports. I have however become obsessed with football. My son plays and I love watching him, I take the kids to our PL team home games. I will watch any that comes on the tv now too, my tik tok and insta is all football related. I don't know what happened. I've totally embraced it. But honestly I'd just leave him to it. If it takes up too much time away from you then you may need to have words.. it's not fair if it's taking over his life and you don't ever see him because of it

I loathe it- no interest at all or in watching any sport for that matter, which is unfortunate as dh has seats in director's box of "his" club.

I don't understand all the crazy loyalty.. the players go where the money is so why? I couldn't care less who wins.. dh has given up with me.

I hate all sports, men's, women's, all of it. I couldn't stand it in school either. I like to go for a swim and I don't mind the occasional jog but I would rather pickle my eyeballs like onions than join in with anything organised involving a ball/stick/both/whatever they're hitting something with.

I might be duplicating as I can't remember who I have and haven't responded to!

@Skullcollector oh god yes, that! This thread is making me find other reasons why I don't like it

@discoafters @Splitscreened @skippy67 because we live apart. So I travel to visit and it is only recently that I've become involved in that, I'll go along to matches etc-just because I am there, It's on, and I want to spend time with DP.

I can cope with her watching it on TV (thank god for smart phones) even though I'd rather do something else of course, but over the last couple of months, maybe 5 times I haev been to actual matches with her, where she's playing and I just hate it. It's a shame (in my opinion) because of course I want to spend as much time with DP as possible but now, it seems so much of our time is spent doing football-y things and I just cannot bring myself to like it . I dislike it more and more as time goes on.

@JustKen and @TxtSpk yes. I have worked for the police in the past and the way policing has to accommodate not just for violence, racism, aggression at and before/after matches but the rise in DV and other crimes around those times too [sad[

Arguably IS a religion by sociological definition. It is a 'set of beliefs and values one lives one's life by'

I am glad woemn's football is getting some recognition now.

@SouthLondonMum22 yes, I have put my foot down recently when DP visited me and left at 8 am on the Sunday to go and play a football match. We'd not see one another for three weeks after that and I was just upset and insulted. I said that was not to happen again, don't bother coming next time.

@olderbutwiser I get that too

@Beachwaves127 I Do have to remind myself (and I think I put this in the OP) that it is impossible for EVERYONE who likes football to be awful,aggressive etc.

Regarding the 'bonding of men' I'm gay and my DP is (obviously) female as are the rest of her teammates.

I don't like any sports! I run (alone) I lift weights at a male-dominated bodybuilder type gym and I do pressups, I keep fit that way-I don't like watching TV either-team sports in any capacity are just not for me. They're not for everyone.

When I am with DP and 'the team' I just feel so so out of place. And I dont know if anyone on MN is envisioning me as a twinset-wearing ultra-feminine little-house-on-the-prairie type on the back of this thread, but I am far from it!

I'm fairly outgoing, I can be quite 'tmi' and jokey, I swear, I'll talk about anything to anyone, like to laugh at obscure things and I dress quite outrageously by many's standards. When I first moved to the town I'm in I went straight to the local pub to get to know people and make friends, I am not a quiet little wallflower.

But I feel so, so 'odd one out' because I'm nothing like them in some way- all shouting swearing beer guzzling 'fuh-ie' chatting lot.. I find it so odd and oppressive and awful andcome to think of it, I can't figure out exactly why!

They don't talk to me really-they're not the least bit interested in getting to know new people or maybe just me they all just drink and drink and talk about the football. DP doesn't really talk to me while we're there either. It's very boring and makes me feel sad and left out and upset.

They gamble too and I don't like that.

@HereBeFuckery that's a point I hadn't thought of too.

@Italianita I have to do this too. With DP and especially using football jargon on me which I don't understand. I've asked her several times to not do it-and I don't care who won/lost or who got a 'free kick' (freak ick).I dont care at all-I don't know why she keeps telling me it all every week :(

Of the jargon, I am not sure if she did it on purpose but I was once expressing my upset about the frequency of the matches etc and she said I should have known how long this would be the situation for, as 'I told you I'd signed up for the season!'
She may've done, she may have not-but could she really think I'd know what that meant?

@MiddleParking no, I love my girlfriend very much. I don't think you could say i have so little in common over just this one thing? I don't dislike her teammates either, I dont know any of them as they've no interest in talking to me at all-and I have tried!

My niece actually dated a lad with a football-obsessed family. They went out to a nice restaurant for a meal and it was all they talked about, she said-then they got their tablets out mid-main course to watch/see the results! Baffling in my eyes. Their whole lives revolved around it.

@Coffeaddict as I've put above, it isn't an option for us. I've now had to resign to the fact that I either don't see her, or I put up with these long, boring days out which inevitably leave me upset and/or her leaving my house first thing to go and play when we dont see one another often. If we lived together, of course I'd stay home or go and do something else.

@RocketIceLollie honestly? The exercise DP gets has to be fully cancelled out by the copious amounts of beer they all drink afterwards! It's literally an all day thing. It'd be healthier to not play at all and walk to the pub and get a bit tipsy!

@MammaTo yes, it definitely is. I'm a football widow now-she loves it far more than me (she'd deny that) she'll choose it over time with me, ignore me while she's with her 'fuh-ie' mates... We don't get much time together as it is. As I've said upthread, if we lived together I'd happily give her a lift there and back and be happy to go and do my own thing. But, for instance last time she was at my house, she arrived friday night and was off at 0800 Sunday morning because she can't miss a match.

@Motheranddaughter see above-to be honest, I don't mind watching it in the pub as much because (depending on the pub) I can just relax with my kindle in a nice atmosphere while she watches it and at least get what feels like a bit of time. It's not as bad as the rest of the issues I have with it.

@Dacadactyl ve been to a few matches and find it so mind-numbing it's unreal. In big stadiums, I have no idea which player is which and get confused at half time when they swap ends and forget what goal "my team" is attempting to score in

I'm like that too! It was only last time I even noticed that they swapped half way through OR that the people in goal wear different colours!

@Samcro I Am finding these childhood tales so sad!

@Chemenger Can you be my best friend please that's so uncannily similar to how I feel about it. I find it so so childish and I agree about the whole 'heroism' thing.

@TheGreyRockess I don't know much about many players but Marcus Rashford did seem to be a lovely young man with what he did for children.

@PinkyDinkyDoodle I hated the travelling on coaches I've done with DP. Nobody really seems to want me there at all and I know I'm going to be bored for the foreseeable! And on the way back all the chanting-I had a couple of proseccos and tried to join in a bit but I was uncomfortable and I am sure it showed

@EddieHowesShithousingMags yes I encouraged her back into it too! I wanted her to do something she loved, I didn't realise it'd take over life. SIlly me!

Well for me personally, as I've said upthread I put my foot down with DP last time she left first thing to go and play after only one full day together. I said I was worth more than that, she either doesn't come, she doesn't leave, she gives up me/us or gives up football-and I know the latter will never happen so that's her three options. I am going to try to stop being upset and wanting any changes. Ball's in her court (see what I did there?!) now.

One weekend she invited me over to her neck of the woods but then proceeded to tell me that (I'd be arriving the Friday evening) Saturday she'd be at the club from about 16:00 for some sort of 'thing' I forget what, not playing but some sort of gambling evening I think. So we'd not be able to do much with that day. And then Sunday lunchtime there'd be a match then they'd be at the club again drinking until the last person left.

I told her I was worth more than that and wasn't coming

I haven't discussed this part with her yet but I downright refuse (as of last time) to travel all the way to see her, if there's even going to be ONE full day of football. Watching a match on the TV/in the pub, yes we can do other things with the rest of the day then, that's okay and I am not an unreasonable person. But I am not getting there Friday night for us to be watching it on the Saturday and then her playing/drinking with them all all day Sunday. I'm just not doing it so she's going to have to make some decisions/changes I guess. I'm growing some see what I did there X2 balls now!

@IHeartGeneHunt Anything organised involving a ball/stick/both/whatever they're hitting something with.

I love this sentence! It makes it sound so daft, doesn't it? I totally regret encouraging her back into it selfish but true. Our relationship has changed so much since she did.

Wimbledon and the Olympics etc "take over the TV schedule" too! I think the media go over the top with most sports really.

I like football, not obsessively so, but watch our local 2nd division team, and watch the occasional "big" match on TV. What I don't like is the loutish behaviour of a small section of the fans - the ones who are little more than neanderthals with their excessive drinking, fighting, aggression, etc. Luckily, they're a very small minority and I just stay away from them and don't engage in any way. It's like anything else, you notice the "noisy" minority, but don't notice the quieter majority.

If my partner was one of those neanderthals, he'd very quickly not be my partner! But then again, if he was obsessive in any way at all, whether a football fan, or an obsessive train spotter, he'd quickly not be my partner. I can't do with extremes or any kind of obsessive behaviour. I'm a moderate "middle of the road" person and luckily my OH is the same (well not luck really, because he wouldn't have become my OH if he wasn't!).

Utterly despise it
players all cheat and dive and cry if someone touches their hair
i have been to two premier games
the ignorance of the vile scum fans is staggering
A constant stream of foul mouthed abuse abuse
ref and all other team players and fans are “cunts”
songs about players wives taking it up the arse etc
fools like linear and alex Scott making a fortune for pontificating nonsense

Agree with this 100%

.I absolutely hate it, thank god no one in this house is that bothered about it.
Though I was mildly pleased that the women did far better than the useless over paid over privileged men.

It's a game for puerile, tribalistic, skinhead, sexist (and often racist) moronic men to get together with their own kind. Why on earth would you wish you enjoyed it.

I don't enjoy watching any sport - but am struck in the difference in behaviour between football and rugby supporters. Maybe rugby is your sport OP.

Not the game, necessarily but the behaviours that traditionally go with it.

Enjoyed the women’s World Cup.

@user1497207191 yes, I guess that's part of it for me too-anything DP had become obsessed with may have been as big a problem!

Apologies, I am at work so unable to reply to all at once

Me. It's always come across to me as a microcosm of war mentality. In times of (relative) peace it's somewhere where men (mostly) can feel tribal and hate the other side - even if that's mainly manifested in explicit chants that sometimes spills over into hooliganism.

Seems to be wired into the majority of men's dna.

When I was growing up, my dad didn't watch much football, but he liked listening to the scores. So, although I really dislike football, I have fond memories of eating my dinner on a Saturday evening with that unique cadence of the football scores being read out in the background.

DP likes watching, but not playing, football. When he isn't watching it, he's listening to it on his phone, which he annoyingly carries from room to room as he does 'stuff'. I hate everything about the sound of a football match. The crowd chants, the over excited commentators, the VERY SERIOUS after match analysis. And DP won't use his bloody headphones. It's pure torture. Sometimes he buggers off and watches it at his parents' house, which is a blessed relief. His mum is 80 and a huge football fan. She always hated it until her youngest gave up Irish dancing and there were no more weekend trips all over country. She sat there with a face like thunder while FIL watched the matches on TV every weekend and then, all of a sudden, something snapped and she went over to the dark side🤣

@Tessisme I hate that too. I used to have a lodger who watched every single match ever, the house always sounded like football. I hated it and it was one reason I gave him notice.

@Italianita thank you for the empathy

I feel like I'm grieving my relationship today. I know she'll want to play football every weekend and I've had to find the courage to tell her she can't do both, she dedicates us some proper quality time or she doesn't bother. So essentially I've doomed myself to not seeing her.

If the initiates any conversation about any of this, I will struggle to not passively-aggressively address the whole thing with an 'It's fine, I'm sure you'll pick me back up if you get bored' or similar. I won't though. Just will want to. I know that's pathetic, I am a grown woman with a profession!