Hello from Ratsnet - a reply to "The Most Vile Thing"

[RattusRattusRattus]

Longtime lurker, first-time poster on Ratsnet. Just want to know if IABU.

Last night I was enjoying a quiet dinner in my local wheelie bin when suddenly out of nowhere a human hand appeared over the side. I got the fright of my life and screamed bloody murder but it just hung on. The human then must have started dragging the bin because I was jostled and flung all over the shop. My dinner went flying.

Naturally I was terrified but managed to scramble out of the bin and onto the human. Just touching her gave me the heaves but down the back side of her was the quickest route to the ground.

Well you would have thought I had taken a big juicy bite out of her neck. Drool! (Sorry got distracted). The screaming! The language! I grew up in a rough environment but it still shocked me. She threw down the bin and started running.

I'm usually a bit of a doormat but I decided to give her a piece of my mind. How many times have I heard "fucking filthy rat" and turned the other hairy cheek to this ugly speciesism. (I'm sure with her friends she's all NARALT but when the smooth dry droppings hit the fan...).

I ran to catch her up and explain how her humanonormative discourse was invalidating my lived experience but she refused to engage and disappeared into the house.
So WIBU to try and assert myself?

😂

😂

I hate rats so I don't feel sorry for you. Fuck off and die!

Yanbu Rattus. I'm sure you'll get trolls turning up on your thread who aren't really rats, some of them are even human supremacists, just ignore them.

Very good. Surely you have lots of rattus pals you can enlist?

Hey I didn't ask to be born this way! Or maybe I did - in a previous life i was a Tory politician. I'm hoping to improve my karma and be reincarnated as a slug, or maybe even a leech.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

YANBU. Sit on the doorstep and wait. Be prepared to wait there as long as it takes. Wave every now and again as she peeps round the curtain. You will soon win her over with your perseverance and get an apology and a richly deserved invitation to live in the house.

Ratatouille is our fave film!😉😂

🤣🤣

Well you have certainly evolved if you were once a Tory politician!!

I blame UB40

That sounds boring. I think I'll go for a swim in the sewer pipe and pop up in the toilet when she goes for a wee during the night.

That was for Summer House. Still getting to grips with this site.

I'm hoping to improve my karma and be reincarnated as a slug, or maybe even a leech.

Leech sounds a bit aspirational OP. Amoeba maybe?

Funny 😀
Sorry rattus. It's only your tail I don't like. The rest of you might be ok

Hello ratfans!

@RattusRattusRattus

You're a talented writer! Great post ... loved 'the other hairy cheek' 😂

@RaeHitsEbSire

Yeah, unfortunately some rats have no dignity.

Hi there op

I think I'm in a minority but I like a lot of your kind and I've just taken in some of your relatives! They're quite feisty though.... be nice if you cou,d send a whisker in their ear to be a bit nicer to the hands that are feeding g them !
Anyway hope you're getting over your terrifying ordeal . Have a long dust bath and a nice bit of cheese ,

Oh God this is hilarious!
Rats are actually very intelligent. They get such a bad rap

Hello. I'm one of the 37% (made up) of people who like you rats when you're in a hedgerow or glade or other naturey stuff, but don't like you when you're in my bin or crisp draw or hair. Could you possibly have a word with your relations about keeping your distance? If not would you like some lovely bright blue muesli bar?

Come over to my place. I have a huge black cat and he's hungry........

Are you actually a rat though or just identifying as one? Define 'rat' without resorting to lazy stereotypes

😬😂🐀