Mixed sex sleepover year 6? How would you navigate this?

[Taq]

DC wants a sleepover for his birthday. He goes to a small village school and there is only one girl in the year. Is it ok at this age!? There will be 3 boys and one girl. DS is perplexed when I ask if he’s sure he doesn’t want just boys - he wants the ‘whole’ class. And it does seem really unfair to exclude her.

WWYD? Am I overthinking this?

No, year6 aged 10/11 children grow up so quick these days, girl could be on her period, kids are not so innocent at that age, i was fully aware what went on at 11 even though i didnt know how it all fit together and that was in the 70,s.
Id do as others have said speak with the girls mum, and let her stay if mum allows but in another room.

This.

I wouldn’t allow my daughter to go to this. Would be happy for her to attend until 9pm and would then collect her.

I'm 54. I grew up without internet and I was sent on holiday by myself when I was younger than this, and slept in mixed dorms. I was sexually assaulted in one of these holidays and utterly traumatised. In year 6 (then 4th year juniors) the boys were writing all sorts of crude stuff in end of year autograph books.

If you think that children only do this just because of the internet, you're dangerously naive.

No. She shouldn't be sleeping in with 3 boys.

Well then let's all stop our kids ever being alone with other kids their whole lives.

And certainly don't let your daughter's join Girl Guiding where boys can pretend to be girls and sleep and share washing facilities with girls.

@00100001 has anyone ever told you you are lacking empathy to someone who's talked about her experience of child sexual abuse on this thread?

Obviously most kids aren't out to abuse others but some are, much like with adults. My question is, why are you so invested in the idea that kids never hurt other kids?

I think by what would have historically been "middle school" (and in some places still is) it's probably past the time for mixed sex sleepovers. Talking to her parents and letting her sleep in your DDs room sounds like a sensible solution and you sound like a sensible Mum.

It was only a week or so ago someone posted on here that they were hosting a sleepover and saw two boys being repeatedly sexual with each other. I think a big key to this is supervision! And being on good terms with other parents where possible.

Some of the posters may also remember what happened to them at the hands of a year 6 boy.

I do. In 1982.

I don't particularly care if you think I have empathy or not.

I never once said kids don't hurt other kids - I'm just saying the majority of kids don't hurt other kids and one persons anecdote, as sad as it is, is not going to change that.

It's not just 1 person though, @00100001

Still doesn't make it true that more children are abused by peers than not...

I'd be fine with it. Mine have had mixed sleepovers at cubs and scouts.
However as the thread shows lots of parents wouldn't be so it's clear you need to speak to the girls parents and see what they're comfortable with.

I have let dd have mixed sex sleepovers at whatever age.
If they had a sleepover nothing happened, they made up a dance routine, watched a scary movie, had a gossip and all fell asleep in the same room. Similar stuff at other parents houses

Mind you most of dds male classmates turned out weren’t exactly interested in girls. (I think the fact they loved to make up dance routines and knew all the words to Hamilton meant she and her other female classmates were quite safe)

I would do this. I wouldn't think twice. When I think how little my son was in year 6, there was absolutely no way it would be an issue. I guess the best thing is to speak to her mum. I think it's lovely your son wants a whole class party, even if it's a tiny one!!

I do guided reading with year 6. Believe me, they are not "grown".

Wow this is quite eye opening - I posted on here a year ago as was planning a mixed sleepover for my DD in year 6 and no one batted an eyelid at my nerves - I nave just done one for year 7 too.
It was two girls and one boy.
It's so sad that we can't be relaxed about this!

I wasn’t allowed sleep overs at primary school and stick to that with DC outside family there are only 1 or 2 people I’d be happy to leave them with.

that said aIso knew what sex was had kissed and had “boyfriends”but had no desire whatsoever to have have sex aged 11 and for a good few years afterwards. It would have been utterly grim. I also remember a mixed sleepovers in my teens. Nobody fucked.

So I’m a bit 🤨 about all these people insisting that year 6 is “grown”

I’m nearly 50 and remember year 6 boys saying sexual comments to girls. Tiny village primary. Dd1 started her periods in year 6. Hard no.