Mixed sex sleepover year 6? How would you navigate this?

[Taq]

DC wants a sleepover for his birthday. He goes to a small village school and there is only one girl in the year. Is it ok at this age!? There will be 3 boys and one girl. DS is perplexed when I ask if he’s sure he doesn’t want just boys - he wants the ‘whole’ class. And it does seem really unfair to exclude her.

WWYD? Am I overthinking this?

I completely agree. The issues we have to deal with at school are shocking.

@00100001 but the problem is you don't know which kids are beyond their years in knowledge and which aren't!

I have heard about year 5s found watching porn!

Children are exposed to so much more than we were even 20 years ago

Firstly, 5 in a year group is quite normal if you live in a very rural area. As is having only one girl or only one boy in a year: we had that with one of our dc.

secondly I agree that the dc are likely to want to have the whole year group there - the dynamics are quite different in tiny rural schools to how they are in schools with 30
kids in a year, or even more.

finally, make sure that the girl has a separate place to change, and that either they’re supervised or she is offered her own sleeping area, for privacy, but she may be happy to hang out with the wider group.

One of the few sensible posts.

Lots of very naive parents here

Not all our kids are exposed to sexual material and conversations at 10 years old thanks. Some of us give a shit about our kids access to this kind of thing.

Just because the kids in your life are exposed to sexual abuse and share it, doesn't mean every kid is.

Honestly I'm gobsmacked that any parent would think that a mixed sex sleepover for Yr 6 is appropriate! DD was at small rural primary too, the kids still have access to inappropriate content/porn in the countryside you know!
1 girl Vs 3 boys I think you are leaving yourself wide open if anything happens to be honest.

The children are aged 10/11. FFS! Well then that's just asking for trouble.

If people actually think kids aren't discussing sex at that age, they're living under a rock. No way would I allow my daughter go to a sleepover with 3 boys aged 11. Parents need to be responsible when it comes to having children stay over.

Some girls have their period at 11. Boy mature way slower than girls.

@00100001 but you can't control what parental of other kids allow access to! You are incredibly naive if you believe no Yr 6s know about sex etc.
Like I said, there was a deeply disturbed kid at DDs school who was watching porn frlm Yr 4/5 onwards. Social services etc involved but it meant an end to our childrens' innocence at a young age.
Oh FYI this is in a very MC rural area too

If you’re concerned OP, have an honest chat with her Mum and agree she’ll be picked up at 10 with a simple excuse “Flossie has to go home and not sleep over because she’s got to see her granny tomorrow”. Kid doesn’t feel left out, you’re not having to cause unnecessary issues. Let your DS have his party. Later you can have a proper chat with him about why mixed sex sleepovers aren’t allowed now he’s getting older. You can manage this well without drama.

I never said no year 6s. I just know that the year 6s I know are not exposed to sexual material and do not go round telling other kids how to give a blowjob.

You are all sexualising year 6 kids.
Good grief.

@00100001 but as others have said, many girls have started their period in Yr 6 so those conversations are already happening.
I knew what sex was by the last year in primary school even if I wasn't aware of the mechanics. They aren't exactly going to tell you if they know are they, but they will definitely know what it is.

Let them have the sleep over if her parents agree but at lights out before adults go to sleep like you said put the girl in with your daughter, no big deal everyone enjoys themselves!

Completely agree.

@sadaboutmycat er no we aren't sexualising them, we are stating that many Yr 6s are aware of sex and it isn't appropriate for Yr 6 1 girl to go for a mixed sleepover with 3 boys.
Sexualising someone means: to make them sexual or consider them in a sexual way.
I am just pointing out that kids of this age DO know about sex. Therefore to protect everyone a mixed sleepover would be a no from me.

I once had a sleepover with my “best friend” when we were 11.
he showed me his penis and asked me to suck it,

Oh gosh this has escalated.
My children don’t have any internet access at home whatsoever so I know exactly what they have/have not been exposed to. Fair point I don’t know about the others. But I can’t exclude one child in the class it’s just not fair.
I will supervise and have her sleep with DD in her room. I think that’s fair.

How depressing the world is nowadays though. Because it’s true, so many young kids DO have unrestricted, unsupervised internet access.

I'm struggling for words. Honestly.

I wasn't exposed to sexual material as a child. No one thought the boy next door was either. Very nice and normal family.

Except for the fact he began sexually abusing me from Year 4 onwards. Lasted years. My parents thought we were best friends. Let us play alone together and have sleep overs. I was too scared to say anything.

You have no idea what other children are like and what they are exposed to. Just because they come for a 'naice' family and seem sweet and kind doesn't mean they are.

You're an idiot.

It would never enter my mind that this is an issue. They are primary school children in a small class

If her parents are happy to, then do it. I'd be open that the other kids are boys. Separate rooms might make things easier and probably best solution.

Anyone who thinks this isn't an issue and would allow your daughters to attend, please see my previous reply and think twice. I wish my mum had thought twice.

OP, provided you keep a close eye whilst they play alone and make sure the girl sleeps in a separate room, I think it's okay.

I think it is ok, but direct them to different areas for changing and give the girl the choice of sleeping with the boys or your dd.

I think missing one kid out of such a small group is worse than managing the sleepover.

No I'm not. Your anecdotal evidence doesn't make it true that all kids will be exposed to sexual material or go on to abuse.

How can there be 4 children in one class??? How many children are there in the whole school, 30 or something?

@00100001 and your anecdotal evidence doesn't make the opposite true.