Mixed sex sleepover year 6? How would you navigate this?

[Taq]

DC wants a sleepover for his birthday. He goes to a small village school and there is only one girl in the year. Is it ok at this age!? There will be 3 boys and one girl. DS is perplexed when I ask if he’s sure he doesn’t want just boys - he wants the ‘whole’ class. And it does seem really unfair to exclude her.

WWYD? Am I overthinking this?

At 10/11 I had snogged a boy I fancied in my school library. No sex wanted at that age, but definitely wanted kissing and light touching. I probably wouldn't do it.

So to be clear… there’s only 5 people
including him in the whole year?

There were only 3 children in my ds' yeae, including him.

(And that was back in 2006!). Those ages seem to be more advanced now than we were.

There are some very sheltered parents on this thread. My DC have never knowingly been exposed to any adult content, we do everything “right” when it comes to parental controls and screens.

It didn’t stop other DC in the class accessing things they shouldn’t and telling other DC very detailed stories in the yard. It got so frequent and so adult themed, parents complained to the school.

Yr6 DC are different to what children of the 70s/80s/90s were at 10/11. The internet has a lot to play in this, as well as social media. Just because you don’t allow your child to see inappropriate things, it doesn’t mean other parents have been so careful.

It’s not about sexualising DC, it’s about protecting them. Boys at 10/11 have been known to say sexually explicit things to their female classmates. I would never allow my Yr6 DD to attend a sleepover with 3 boys and have in fact declined a similar invite. I found it odd that the mother asked knowing my DD would be the only girl with a group of Yr6 boys.

I am amazed only 4 kids in a year

Where are you op

You are right to be cautious sadly have to be

Speak to girls mum and see her views

I’d do something other than a sleepover for the party.

my rule is no sharing sleeping space with people where pairings could result in pregnancy.

year 6 means some of these children are old enough to be fertile so it’s time to start segregating for sleeping.

Seriously? Why are you finding this so difficult to understand?

Not all kids. I'm sure only a very small minority. But how do you know which ones will and which ones won't?

And that. That is the point.

@SheepleChase exactly!

But also, I don't really get why people think 10/11 year olds are all some asexuals with no urges. I remember in Year 6 when a film came out with a female actress in it and all the boys who had seen it were in school saying how sexy and hot she was etc.

If you my invited my girl- I would decline the invite.

Weirdly I'd be less keen on this than a mixed sleepover (ideally a bigger group) at aged 14 or 15 when they're more clued up.

I think if you give the girl's mum the option of pick her up at 10 or she shares with your daughter, you're doing a good risk mitigation.

Of course your ds is right to include her in the invitation.

Of course you're right to speak to her mum and advise that her dd can sleep in your dd's room/somewhere where the boys are not.

Of course she might be very happy hanging out with the boys that she's grown up with.

If this was my dd, I would speak with her about the options of where she might want to sleep and, if she wanted to go absolutely let her.

I'd just have a regular party and let them all get picked up at 9pm.

No chance.
I’d do a party for them all and then the girl goes home and the boys can sleep over.

my rule is no sharing sleeping space with people where pairings could result in pregnancy

^^

This.

I'm really surprised that anyone would let their pre-teen daughter sleep over with a group of boys. No way would I allow this.

Well if my year 6 DD has this invite I would decline it.

I agree having a girls room and a boys room is the best way to go.

There is a thread a couple of days ago about two year 6 or 7 boys acting out sex (one humping and grinding on the other) at a sleepover twice and the mum wondering what she should do - have a read through that to prepare for what could go wrong! Unlikely but better to be prepared.

It's lovely that of all the kids in his class he has chosen he one girl as a special friend to come to his birthday celebrations. Poor girl must get quite left out.

I would chat to the girl's parents and see if she is comfortable with the idea. She can always come to the party and go home before bedtime if she prefers, or as you say, she can sleep separately from the boys.

FWIW my two best friends in year 6 were two boys. We were like the Harry Potter trio.

@00100001 she didn't say all kids she bravely and helpfully shared her experience to point out that these things do happen when parents have no clue therefore parents should be aware of the risks of peer on peer abuse and not bury their head in the sand or think it doesn't happen in nice villages

Some people on here are really odd. It is possible to have friendships with the opposite sex - even at 11! Let them have a sleepover.

@Shraree friendships with the opposite sex is not an issue, a mixed sleepover is the issue! DDs best friend is a boy but I wouldn't allow a sleepover.

We had a sleep over year 5 all boys plus one girl. There was nothing questionable about it at all. They played games, ate junk and talked all night.

I think it's totally fine!

I know someone who's DD's best friend is a boy and she said for her birthday she had a sleepover with 2 boys. They're 11. I was surprised but only because my 10 year old daughter hates boys.