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Original poster

I lost weight & no-one noticed!

95 replies

boxedandribboned · 04/10/2023 14:02

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm finding it odd!

I've lost weight at various times in the past (usually post pregnancy) & usually people have noticed/commented on it.

This time, I've lost almost a stone (down from 9 st 12 at the beginning of August to about 9 stone). No-one has said anything! I've been able to fit back into the clothes I wore before covid, which has been huge for me.

I'm not upset about the fact that no-one's noticed, I'm just finding it a bit odd. It struck particularly on the weekend when we went to visit a friend, and she told us she'd lost a stone. When we were driving home, DH said 'It's interesting she's lost weight, I was thinking how much smaller she was than last time we saw her!"

OP posts:

Hygeelady · 04/10/2023 14:04

I've lost 2 stone and no one has noticed! Down from a size 16 to a 12!

Not sure why, it must be obvious...

MartyFunkhouser · 04/10/2023 14:05

I don’t think 12 pounds is an amount that’s particularly noticeable other than to yourself.

Well done though!

Original poster

boxedandribboned · 04/10/2023 14:06

I've lost 2 stone and no one has noticed! Down from a size 16 to a 12!

@Hygeelady interesting! It's strange isn't it? Do you think people are just too polite to comment?

OP posts:

AThickLayerOfLard · 04/10/2023 14:06

It’s not that people haven’t noticed, there are just more and more sm posts about how you should never be commenting on peoples weight.
Some people are seemingly touchy if you mention weight loss and take it as an insult that you are saying they were fat before-not me, tell me I look like I’ve lost weight and I’m thrilled!

MetaverseMavis · 04/10/2023 14:07

But you are not doing this for everyone else you are doing this for yourself. Why should they?

ShellySarah · 04/10/2023 14:08

I've lost lots before ...about 10kg and people did comment. But people close to me.

Perhaps people don't want to be rude or make an issue in an era where everyone is offended by everything.

Congrats though

Original poster

boxedandribboned · 04/10/2023 14:08

I don’t think 12 pounds is an amount that’s particularly noticeable other than to yourself.

Perhaps, it feels really noticeable to me, mainly because of being able to fit into the old clothes. Before I lost the weight I'd become accustomed to wearing more loose-fitting clothes, so perhaps they disguised the weight gain as well as I'd hoped they would!!

OP posts:

InterFactual · 04/10/2023 14:10

I think it's horribly rude for anyone to comment on someone's body, even if they believe they're giving a compliment. I have work related experience of both end of life care and eating disorder services and it's made me acutely aware that people may be losing weight for very bad reasons. I never comment on anyone's body because I might accidentally hit a nerve or put my foot right in it! I hope that generally everyone is becoming a bit more aware of how inappropriate it is as I don't see people talking about it as much.

Obviously that doesn't explain why family haven't mentioned it but it may account for the wider lack of attention.

GAW19 · 04/10/2023 14:11

I really don't think people can win.
If they mention weight, they're the bad guy and should mind their own. If they don't mention it it's now 'weird'.
What is going on recently 🤦🏻‍♀️

FranticHare · 04/10/2023 14:11

People are scared to mention it. "We" have been told you must not mention peoples weight - so we don't.

Just goes to show you cannot please all of the people all of the time.

Original poster

boxedandribboned · 04/10/2023 14:11

But you are not doing this for everyone else you are doing this for yourself. Why should they?

It's not that I think they should, it was just that the change was noticeable - as said, in the past when I've lost a similar about of weight lots of people were always commenting on it. Thinking about it, I actually prefer people not commenting because I find it a bit embarrassing, so it's not a bad development if it's become socially inappropriate - I'd still expect DH and the dc to notice tho!

OP posts:

godmama · 04/10/2023 14:11

It’s a tricky one, because sometimes weight loss is unintentional and the result of unbearable stress or an illness. Telling people they look good when they’ve shed some kgs can also exacerbate an eating disorder, so for these reasons I don’t offer unsolicited comments on the size or shape of other people’s bodies.

Don't let it detract from your overall achievement in improving your health though!

lilyblue5 · 04/10/2023 14:13

I don’t comment on someone’s body unless they bring it up themselves.

Original poster

boxedandribboned · 04/10/2023 14:13

Just goes to show you cannot please all of the people all of the time.

I'm honestly not complaining, just making an observation as it surprised me based on prior experience

OP posts:

Bundlebuns · 04/10/2023 14:21

I never comment on weight after my own experience. I was overweight when I lost my brother suddenly and couldn't eat properly for six months due to grief. I had a number of parents and school staff in the playground comment on how amazing I looked now. Obviously they were not aware what had happened, but it was upsetting to hear I looked "amazing" at such a painful time.
So it may not be that people haven't noticed. Well done you on losing the pounds 🙂

LegendsBeyond · 04/10/2023 14:26

It’s pretty ignorant to comment on someone’s weight. My friend lost a noticeable amount of weight quickly which turned out to be due to cancer. Best to keep comments to yourself.

Snoken · 04/10/2023 14:26

I am not sure I would have noticed a 12lbs weightloss on somebody else if it has been quite gradual. Different clothes can make someone look slimmer or bigger too.

I also think it's a positive that people aren't making comments. Even if you think it would be a positive comment it puts a value on being slim.

CrotchetyQuaver · 04/10/2023 14:36

I believe there's a new convention now where remarks about someone's appearance are considered inappropriate.

lilyblue5 · 04/10/2023 14:42

Bundlebuns · 04/10/2023 14:21

This.
also, awful about your brother ❤️

ThreeRingCircus · 04/10/2023 14:43

I don't think I'd notice a 12lb loss on someone else. I know you'll feel a lot different and you can feel your clothes are looser but to others it won't be as noticeable.

I also agree that fewer people are commenting on others' weight and bodies, which I think is a good thing in the main. I definitely wouldn't mention someone's weight unless they brought up the conversation.

Needeyebrows · 04/10/2023 14:43

I've lost four and a half this year, gone from 15 12 to 11 6. The only person who has commented is my DH. It is very disheartening

Shopper727 · 04/10/2023 14:44

12lb is great but it’s not really loads, I mean I if lost 12lb it would be very noticeable 96kg argh!!
and if I wasn’t close to you I’d not notice tbh sorry if just think something was different about you and not manage to think what.but I am sure you look great and feel it and am a bit jealous well done though

BadBadDecisions · 04/10/2023 14:44

I lose 4 stone before people would openly comment; I think unless it's really significant people don't want to put too fine a point on it.

It is a fine line between I KNOW I LOOK AWESOME and oh god I must have looked shit before.

midgemadgemodge · 04/10/2023 14:45

You are not supposed to say if someone has lost weight?

Berninaa · 04/10/2023 14:46

I've lost 20lb recently and tbh I am struggling to see it myself so I can see how it might not be noticed. Also, yes to all of the above, people don't like to pass comment.

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