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Original poster

I lost weight & no-one noticed!

95 replies

boxedandribboned · 04/10/2023 14:02

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm finding it odd!

I've lost weight at various times in the past (usually post pregnancy) & usually people have noticed/commented on it.

This time, I've lost almost a stone (down from 9 st 12 at the beginning of August to about 9 stone). No-one has said anything! I've been able to fit back into the clothes I wore before covid, which has been huge for me.

I'm not upset about the fact that no-one's noticed, I'm just finding it a bit odd. It struck particularly on the weekend when we went to visit a friend, and she told us she'd lost a stone. When we were driving home, DH said 'It's interesting she's lost weight, I was thinking how much smaller she was than last time we saw her!"

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 04/10/2023 14:47

Hygeelady · 04/10/2023 14:04

I've lost 2 stone and no one has noticed! Down from a size 16 to a 12!

Not sure why, it must be obvious...

Exact same, 2st, 16 to a 12, tumbleweed!

Janieforever · 04/10/2023 14:49

I don’t really get these comments. Close friends and family generally know if you’re trying to loose weight. I certainly know if my friends or family are dieting,and will compliment them on their success.

id not comment to an acquaintance or someone I didn’t know why they’d lost weight, but if I know someone is making effort to do so, then sure I will compliment them.

Canibearsed · 04/10/2023 14:54

It is a tricky one OP
As a relative of someone with an eating disorder I am now very conscious of not commenting on weight loss unless I know the person is actively trying for healthy reasons.
I knows someone who has had a gastric sleeve and this person is really boosted if people comment on weight loss …which is very noticeable.

OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 04/10/2023 14:55

I never comment on weight loss like I wouldn't comment on weight gain. You don't know the reasons for the weight loss, it could be through stress or an eating disorder etc...... its no one else's business what people weigh. Just be proud of yourself!

cheezncrackers · 04/10/2023 14:56

The same people that want everyone to notice when they lose weight would be mortified/offended if people commented when they'd gained.

LumiB · 04/10/2023 14:56

Well you're losing weight for you so not sure why you need other people to comment. Maybe you DH didn't notice as he sees you everyday but seeing someone you haven't in a while you're more likely to notice.

InterFactual · 04/10/2023 15:01

Janieforever · 04/10/2023 14:49

I don’t really get these comments. Close friends and family generally know if you’re trying to loose weight. I certainly know if my friends or family are dieting,and will compliment them on their success.

id not comment to an acquaintance or someone I didn’t know why they’d lost weight, but if I know someone is making effort to do so, then sure I will compliment them.

It depends what you say to your family.

"Well done on hitting your target" is fine if you must comment on weight.

"You look amazing" is not fine. It implies that they looked shit before, which means if they ever regain the weight they will remember that you had this impression and make them feel crap. It also impacts the people around you who may be a part of the conversation. If you tell someone who is slim that they look amazing then the slightly overweight friend who is part of the group conversation will assume that you view their body negatively in comparison.

Honestly its best just to focus on non-weight goals. Praise someone for eating more greens, having more energy or walking faster than you up the stairs.

It's quite old fashioned to comment on people's weight these days outside of a slimming group meetup.

usernother · 04/10/2023 15:03

No one noticed when I lost 12lbs either OP. It took 2 stone before I got any comments.

Lastchancechica · 04/10/2023 15:03

People are too busy and don’t care op. Why would they?
They probably haven’t noticed.

You sound needy snd insecure. Lose weight, don’t lose weight no one is going to care either way. The only time I notice is when someone drastically loses weight (3 stone plus ) and I worry about cancer.

WonderingAboutBabies · 04/10/2023 15:16

I do try and make an effort not to comment on people's bodies. I've recently lost a lot of weight and I've been getting comments like 'wow you look fantastic' - and it does make me think... did I not look fantastic before!?

You just never know why someone has lost weight. They could be grieving or going through a really tough time, and to comment on their weight could be difficult for them.

I only tend to say something IF I know a person has been making an effort - however I don't say things like 'you look so good now'. I just say things like 'you must feel so proud of yourself', or 'I can see how much happier you look!' etc.

Cumbrianlife · 04/10/2023 15:21

Firstly, I'd never comment on someone's weight but doubt I'd have noticed a 12lb drop at that weight. As long as you're happy that's all that counts. I'm underweight. I recently managed to put 2kg on. That's huge for me at just over 40kg. The only comments I ever get are on how thin I am, which is upsetting.

BlanketyB · 04/10/2023 15:24

I've found that a weight fluctuation has to be quite a lot for people to actually comment - and I'm pleased about that! I think these days people steer clear of commenting on other peoples' weight.

I lost a lot of weight (5 stone) a few years ago. A few people commented when I had lost a couple of stone but most people made their first comment in the same week - the week I turned up in new non baggy clothes after losing 4.5 stone. Some people were amazed - like I had lost 4.5 stone in one week and went from a size 18+ to a size 12 overnight. People I saw several times a week.

camelfinger · 04/10/2023 15:27

I’ve put my foot in it before when someone had lost weight owing to a terminal illness. So I just keep quiet now.

PlasticineKing · 04/10/2023 15:27

I’ve lost weight at many points in my life, and have previously always had people saying. This time around, much much less. And I’ve lost a noticeable amount since Easter, nearly 3stone and 2 dress sizes.

I do think that it’s much less the done thing to say now, because you literally never know why or how someone might have lost weight. I’m doing it actively for me, to feel better and healthier and to be a better role model and more active for my child. But also I do want to wear nicer clothes and feel more confident.

I bet people hve noticed and quietly thought “well done”. It’s hard to get my head around though, but equally my worth shouldn’t be in what the scales say.

MoonShinesBright · 04/10/2023 15:27

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VeridicalVagabond · 04/10/2023 15:28

They might have noticed, they may just be too polite to say. I lost 3 stone very rapidly when I was going through one of the worst things in my life and it was fucking awful to have people constantly commenting on how great I looked when I was literally starving with grief. I think it's good that people are being a bit more wary about commenting on the weight of others, positively or negatively.

ilovemydogmore · 04/10/2023 15:29

I think people are just being too careful to comment.

Mapleunicorn · 04/10/2023 15:29

I don’t feel comfortable commenting on weight loss. If I tell someone they look great because they’ve lost weight then I feel it’s like I’m basically saying you looked really shit before. What if they put it back on? They would feel that they no longer look great in my eyes even if they did. If they bring it up then I will say something but I would want them to give me a green light first

MrsDanversChickenSandwich · 04/10/2023 15:30

I wouldn't comment on someone's weight loss, unless it was someone close to me who'd told me they were trying to lose weight.

And a lot of the time I just don't notice, unless it's been a big drop in size.

ChesapeakeBay · 04/10/2023 15:30

I think it's awful when people congratulate others on their weight loss. It's the unintended/undertones of passing a value judgement of "oh well done for no longer being fat, what an achievement". I hate it

Discwriter · 04/10/2023 15:31

If it's close friends or family who know you are dieting then I'd expect them to comment. Anyone else, it's very much frowned upon to comment on someone else's body and the risk of offending is too high. Could you join a slimming club to check progress?

floofbag · 04/10/2023 15:31

12 pounds isn't that noticeable unless you have changed shape

arintingly · 04/10/2023 15:32

People just don't want to mention it.

I lost a lot of weight due to a serious illness and I hated people commenting on it because I felt awful

Marblessolveeverything · 04/10/2023 15:33

It is considered rude to comment- people don't know who has disordered eating, grieving, illness etc.

I would never comment - I was raised to that it was rude.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 04/10/2023 15:36

"You look amazing" is not fine. It implies that they looked shit before, which means if they ever regain the weight they will remember that you had this impression and make them feel crap. It also impacts the people around you who may be a part of the conversation. If you tell someone who is slim that they look amazing then the slightly overweight friend who is part of the group conversation will assume that you view their body negatively in comparison."

So True @InterFactual !
I have a very old friend who does this - every time I see her.
Ironically it's almost worse when I have lost weight. She can't help marveling at the difference and her "compliments" only serve to underlines how shit she thought I looked before. I forgive her a little bit because she's just as ruthless to herself about her own appearance but always looks perfectly preened whilst coveting other peoples outfits/jewellery etc.
I'm still working on the perfect one-liner to shut her up so that she never mentions my weight good or bad ever again!