Trapped in a room by the biggest spider ever

[CheesyBeanyToast]

Sat watching tv and I heard a thud of something falling on the floor. Went to investigate and it’s the biggest spider I’ve ever seen outside a zoo. This fucker is so big it made a bang when it hit the ground. It ran, I ran, all good. Except now it’s on the wall right next to the door and I’m literally stuck in the room because there’s no way I’m walking past this thing, it’s massive! Time to burn the house down right?

need photos!!

Burn the house down it's the only way.

Not the best picture but it’s as close as I’m willing to get. I’ve included the (double!!!) light switch in for a size reference

I've had that before. I charted a path, closed my eyes and ran out the room like a loony until DH came.

Spiders don't deserve me, wish they'd understand that and leave me the heck alone! Let me be useless in peace.

@Badaba i have no DH (or even a H) to rescue me. I’ve got no cups, no magazines or anything. It definitely won’t fit in the spider hoover so I’m basically screwed!

Argggh you ARE trapped. Unless you have a mighty t-bone steak you can throw to distract it

Could you go out the window and back in your house? Note: This won’t work if you’re more than one floor up or can’t open your front door from the outside

I like spiders. 😁

Throw a book or a shoe 😱

There must be something you can use to contain it or open the door from afar?!

Window. It’s the only way out.

My friend called a cab once…. Not for a journey but so the taxi driver could remove a spider for her. Cost her a fiver but worth it.

You need to get your actual vacuum cleaner with the longest attachment you have. You must do this stealthily so it doesn't see. Hoover it up then leave it switched on for at least 10 mins to make sure it's suffocated. Then put hoover outside, far far away, and deal with it tomorrow.

Loving the idea of calling a cab! I’m going to have to make a run for it, I’m tired and up early so need to go to bed!

Ok so good news, I escaped the room. Bad news, my movement spooked it and now it’s under the sofa and I’m not going under there after it tonight. Going to smoke the sucker out tomorrow somehow. Might make one of the kids get it, it might eat them but it’s a risk I’m willing to take

Jayzuz that’s massive! I sucked up a big one in my Shark vacuum and it was running around the inside of the container.

I love the taxi driver story. I once had to get the electricity meter guy to remove spiders, I had 3 trapped under glasses on the floor.

@TeenMum87 im getting the shark out tomorrow. I’ve got one of the ones that bends in the middle so I’m just shoving half the thing under the sofa and if there’s kids toys under there they’re getting sucked up too!

…sucked up a big one in my Shark vacuum and it was running around the inside of the container

ARGGGGH

Just a giant house spider, completely harmless.

Here’s mine, who’s been sat on the kitchen wall most of the day.

Finger for scale

I swear this year has been awful for these big fecking spiders! We ( I say we I mean DH) have put one or two a night out for a week. He won't kill them but we have a dedicated spider catching plastic pint glass and a piece of card so they are captured and released.
I'm hoping they are all done now- had a week of frigging daddy long legs skittering round, the then the massive spiders too!

Send them my way, they eat the mosquitoes so they're welcome at mine. It's like a spider sanctuary here!