Would you be happy if your partner told you this?

[namechanged12312]

"You have improved so much as a parent. I know I can be hard on you sometimes (as in telling you what to do/what not to do with parenting.)"

Would you be find this sweet? Or how would you feel about it?

Personally I'd be fuming, like who is he to rate your level of parenting 😡

Speak to your midwife and follow their advise.

Was it part of your end of year review?

It would take all the joy out of parenting for me tbh. It would sap my confidence and make me miserable. You must stand up to him or make an alternative plan

Dh said something similar to me many years ago and I appreciated it; the thing was however that I was coming out of the fog of depression and trying so hard to be a good, present parent. If he were to say it now, it would be weird!

It’s the “improved” bit that would make my hackles rise.

Everyone finds parenting hard going at times.

But improved? Who the fuck does he think he is?!

I think it would be maybe acceptable if a parent had had well known struggles, spoken about how hard they found parenting etc and were now starting to enjoy it more and do more than the bare minimum with their child.
But in your situation this is just ridiculous. I am at home 2 days a week with 16mo and I would hit the roof if DH tried to dictate my day.
I don't really think 16months is any age to be worrying about delay, it's a bit excessive that you're both thinking of him like that when it's nowhere near that yet. Maybe have a look at a speech milestones chart online and ask your HV for advice.

Goodness, you poor thing.

A lot to unpack here. H sounds like a bully who is making himself feel like the big man at your expense.

Baths in the daytime are silly imo. They are for getting the grunge off before bed and for winding down.

Teaching time for 16 months doesn’t sound like much fun (or useful), and I wouldn’t worry about his peers because you will only hear about the rocket scientists.

16 months is very early for anyone to be talking about speech delay. I would take that with a grain of salt BUT the first step would be a hearing test if you are worried - glue ear is a possibility if he does not have have a word or two - “mama”, “bubba” are words - and would not look at something interesting that you mentioned to him - “look at the puppy”.

He sounds like a condesending and patronising twat, and I'd tell him so.

It would offend me. I’m sure you’re doing a fab job OP, being a SAHM is relentless.

Yuck, I will never understand how these men get women to make babies with them. I've got more balls in my left fallopian tube

I hope you asked what made him the expert and as he knows how to do it better when is he taking the reins while you go back to work.

He sounds like a condescending twat and would tell him what does he know that is so superior. Idiot, is he always like this thinking he can control you and acting like a dickhead. Tell him since he knows it all he can do it all that includes housework etc and hope he does his share.

Am glad decided to stay single as could not put up with this crap now in peri-menopause as used to be so patient and now would tell him to F right off. Hope you are ok and look after yourself as you are pregnant and stand up for yourself and speak your mind, do not let him undermine you at all.

The only appropriate response to this is F off. What an arse

And yet he's STILL breathing???

he certainly wouldn't be here!

you need to get away from this idiot (pregnant or not) before he has you believing you can't!!

get out.

Love BasketOfBobbins comment 'end of year review' ha!!!!

I'd swing him out the door by his c*ck. How condescending and pompous.

Your updates make it clear he is very controlling. You need to stand up to him or you need to get out, or in a few short years you will be an absolute shadow of your former self. You are entirely justified in feeling hurt and offended.

Just read what you said about bath time, tell him most children have their bath before bed and you will do it when you feel like it. He sounds so controlling and it is like a schedule he has for you. Tell him you will do your own schedule what suits you thanks as you are the one at home with the child. Do you have any of your own family or friends near you for support and to talk to.

Omg that is controlling abusive behaviour however he wraps it up. Does he give you a housework schedule as well. This is only going to get worse he's already undermining your confidence.
Has your child the ability to point to things they need, a handful of words like mumma, up. Can they walk crouch to pick up toys?

I read that he thinks your child has a development delay because of you, because you're a SAHP? That sounds, in itself, very weird and controlling. Add all the other stuff about schedules and what not, and it just gets more strange! Why doesn't he trust or respect you?

Do not let him try to guilt you into feeling you have done something wrong, lots of children's speech is delayed and they catch up and some may need help etc but I would really be questioning his controlling behavior. Please speak to a family member or friend as his behavior is not right and is belittling you as a person and a mother and he wants you to feel like this so he can control you. Nip it in the bud now and tell him the lists are over as it will get more difficult when there is a new baby. Keep posting for support.

I can't believe a HV has said there is speech delay so young have a look at the typical speech development charts most of it will be babbling in a speech pattern 7 to 20 words at 18 months is pretty good but some have less others more.

I know you have a dick....but pls stop acting like one. That's what I'd say. I couldn't put up with shit like this.

This.

This is so worrying op.
No one gives their sahp a schedule like that, it's really really weird and controlling. I'm going to bet he is controlling in other aspects of your life.

Speak to someone from women's aid

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/