Which state in the USA for a small-town lifestyle?

[EleventyTrillion]

I have the opportunity to move to the states, basically anywhere I like. It's something I've always loved the idea of, though I've never actually been there.

First off - guns. I know. I don't have any children and it's just not something I'm particularly worried about. Ditto politics. I know many people would not entertain a move to the states for these reasons, but I still want to go. I'm purely interested in which parts of the country would offer the best quality of life for someone like me.

I've always lived rurally in the UK and am definitely not wanting to live in a city or large town. I just want space - the kind of space you don't get in the UK unless you're very wealthy. Not necessarily a big house, but space around it.

I love the look of the towns in Christmas films. Maybe Vermont or Massachusetts. I don't really like the heat and I do like mountains. Can take or leave the coast. I don't have many hobbies except walking, and am very introverted and not bothered about meeting people really.

So for someone like me, where shall I start looking? I'll only be renting for the first while, but have £400k equity in my UK house which I plan to eventually put towards a home wherever I settle.

Maine - probably the only state I would want to live.

Trust me when I say you might not actually want small town America. I used to work in one about three hours from NYC in the Pocono Mountains. Just a regular town.

Religion is VERY important. If you’re not in church every Sunday there’s a problem. This leads to anti abortion sentiment, homophobia etc. Politics are openly declared - lots of love for Trump. Heaven forbid you are a person of colour.

It was stunningly beautiful where I lived and worked but I couldn’t get past the hate and bigotry. You really need to visit before committing.

We stayed there for one night after a nightmare drive through Yosemite having had no sleep the night before due to aftershocks from an earthquake in Bishop, then to top it all we hit a deer on the road. The deer ran away, but we were so worried about it we stopped at the first place to talk to a ranger. She was pretty prgamatic about it, then saw the damage to the car and wrote a report to cover us. We had to tie the front bumper on with some string.

My abiding memory is watching a royal wedding on TV the following morning. I went down to reception to get coffee and doughnuts and everyone else in the hotel was watching a huge screen in reception with their mouths open in astonishment.

It was Sarah Ferguson and sleazy Prince Andrew's wedding.

I love this thread - fascinating.

I do worry that the lifestyle/ political issues flagged here about small town America would not be apparent on a holiday. I have busted Boston a few times and really loved it. Then I went with work and saw a completely different side. I was quite shocked as the culture is so different to the UK. I have visited New York and Boston and Florida and Canada on holiday. But they way of life was not clear until I went with work.

I also found this with Australia. I spent a couple of months there and it was so different to home. I had previously spent a week in holiday in Sydney and had loved it. But after a couple of months seeing the reality of small town life there m, and big city life, I concluded it was not for me!

I live in the United States and can’t find a place to retire here! If I like the weather, I hate the politics. If I like the politics, I hate the weather (Northeast/upper Midwest) or the COL (California/Washington state). So I’m
Not much help!!

I agree with a small city with a good university as they tend to be more liberal and offer culture and activities. This is where New England states are good. However they have severe winters annd higher taxes. Also Madison Wisconsin is fabulous, but again, bad winter and once you leave Madison (or Milwaukee) the politics is awful.

Someone suggested the suburbs north of Chicago and I can tell you, your $400k wouldn’t buy you a mud hut there! And the taxes are massive. But it’s nice, again, brutal winters.

I not only say NO but HELL NO to Texas, Florida, South Carolina, and most southern states. Politics and brutal summers.

North Carolina is fine in the triangle area (Raleigh, Durham) due to big universities, but it’s hellishly hot in the summer.

I’ve heard close to Richmond Virginia is very nice, politically ok, big university, nice climate generally and lower cost of living.

But my biggest piece of advice would be don’t move to the US at all! If I could convince my kids to leave, I’d go to Europe (probably Ireland).

Money no object? Greenwich Connecticut.

I lived there for 3 years and loved every single minute.

Hmmmm culturally, the US & the UK are totally different. The Americans are more culturally foreign to me than any other European country. In good ways and in bad. Just very very different. They think and behave differently, the sense of humour is different, lots of value systems are different

Defo visit first and drink it in and then make an informed choice

I would also look a weather and temperatures year round

@DibbleDooDah This is just such utter horseshit. I grew up in Massachusetts and exactly no one on our whole street went to church. One family went to the synagogue in town. Massachusetts makes the uk look positively conservative! We have family in Texas who are mixed race and atheist and guess what? They have no problems at all in their community. The amount of nonsense spouted on here over the US is just unbelievable!

Montana or Wyoming. Close to Rocky mountains and/or yellowstone. My friend lives on outskirts of Billings and it is beautiful there. She can see 50miles in every direction from her house and her nearest neighbours are three miles away.

It might not be as green as it was this July though as it rained more than usual I was told (by every local I spoke to lol).

Asheville, NC or maybe one of the smaller towns near it (Weaverville, Waynesville, Marshall) might fit the bill because they are still cheaper than Asheville which is, as someone said above, quite touristy. It's relatively expensive but nothing like the NE, it has glorious seasons - we are just moving into the stunning fall color season here - and though it sometimes has snow, it doesn't usually last for a very long time and though it's hot in July and August, the rest of the year, it's pretty temperate.

https://www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2019/5/29/how-west-virginia-became-the-epicenter-of-the-opioid-crisis

it is a literal disaster zone

Colorado. The Rockies are there, beautiful scenery, continental divide. Denver is a great city, lots of good suburbs. Boulder is a lovely town north west of Denver, it reminded me of home whilst I was there. If I was to move to the state’s permanently I would pick Colorado (they were anti trump too).

As an American who has happily made a life for myself on this side of the Pond since 2010, I gotta ask "Just, Why?" I can't picture myself ever moving back to the States. It doesn't have much going for it these days. Political shitshow, soaring costs of healthcare, gun violence...nope.

Hey, don't forget Viroqua, Wisconsin...

I'd add Charlottesville, VA, to my list of suggestions, despite hot summers.

I think you're overegging the heat and cold here. It takes a bit of getting used to, but speaking as an Irish person, if you want to forget you have feet because of sheer numbness, a move to Ireland would be the right one for you

As others have said -- based on what you're describing, I'd say one of the college towns in western Mass: Northampton, Amherst, South Hadley. They're definitely not cheap but totally charming, and you have the option of living in walking distance of town, which is not true for most places in America.

I used to live there and recommend it because you're relatively close to Boston and NYC, which is great if you need a city fix, and if you lean liberally (I say this as an American), you'll find plenty of company. In New Hampshire you won't have sales tax but (in my limited experience) you may find more libertarian "don't tread on me" types. Also, not that you would, but don't go South. (I say this as a Southerner.) Too much of a culture shock and hot as blazes.

I dream about Montana all the time. It’s picture perfect to me. But if I were you, I’d make a bloody good spreadsheet. Research the weather, crime, laws, natural disasters, property prices etc. You could definitely narrow it down that way. I wouldn’t choose anywhere too hot or with tornados for example. Once you have picked a state, it’s just a case of going there to find the town I reckon

It is difficult to imagine how cold New England winters can be - think there being an ice alert issued which means when you go your car in the parking lot it is entirely encapsulated in solid ice!!

Summers are long and glorious though - shorts and tshirts from May to September and everyday seems like it is a good day. Fall is beautiful and seasons very real.

I agree, Colorado is beautiful.

I used to look out of my window as a kid at the forest in the distance and pretend it was Colorado 😂

Family friends live near Durham, North Carolina and their Instagram makes me very envious. You can fly direct to Raleigh from Heathrow so it's easy for family to visit, and they live a very clean outdoorsy lifestyle with lots of hiking. They've said they can't ever imagine moving back but as his family age, it's getting an issue for his family to travel out as much.

I had a wave of that too!

Washington state is lovely. My favourite brunch spot when I lived there was in Carnation - proper little place with a Main Street.

@PonkyPonky the spreadsheet is a fabulous idea, thank you :D

To answer why I want to make the move - it seems a relatively trivial thing, but I can't tell you enough how I just long for space. I want to be immersed in nature. You really do need a lot of money in the UK to have no immediate neighbours, but in the US it seems that even the poorest people can have that. I would happily live in a trailer - you can't even realistically do that in the UK even if you're wealthy enough to own a decent plot of land! There just seem to be so many trees in the USA. I can't stand how claustrophobic it feels over here - the rows and rows of terraced houses without a tree in sight makes me shudder. I hate how that's our "normal". That sounds really snobby and I don't mean it to...

Thanks so much for all these replies btw, super helpful and also very interesting!

I know exactly what you mean op. I’d move to Maine in a heartbeat. Adored it there. Loved Vermont too and Cape Cod. Wasn’t actually keen on New Hampshire