Don't want my daughter making First Communion, ex partner does.

[Upcyclerookie]

Literally this, what do we do , flip a coin?

Not sure "everyone else is doing it" is a good reason to make an autistic 6yo go through a religious ritual she doesn't understand. You probably just want to up the numbers.

No 6yo has any idea what any religious rituals mean. No 8yo either tbh.

But that has never stopped anyone from raising their child within their religion and expect them to follow said rituals. That’s not how religion is working,

The first communion is just a party, nice dress and money to most children.
It's the confession bit I wasn't happy with....telling my 6 year old they had sinned and needed to ask for forgiveness. I pulled my baptised children out (baptised due to family pressure, big regret of mine).

Are you atheist? If so I'd allow it... if there's no god it doesn't hurt her either way. That's my POV as an atheist anyway. Dress it up as tradition.

Doesn't this normally happen in Year 3 at the age of reason?

I would just say "of course, let me know if you want to swap anything around so you can take her." And leave him to it.

6 year olds having to do confession? Confessing their sins and praying for forgiveness? 100% no, I would not be ok with that!!

I thought first holy communion was a lot older than 6? It seems quite young, especially for a child who has developmental delays.

It’s year 4, so 8 and 9 year olds. All the talk of 6 year olds is misleading.

I remember the preparations and actually making mine. The whole thing was terrifying. All that guff about being a sinner, having to sit opposite a judgmental old man and desperately trying to make up lies about things I'd 'done wrong' (I said at one confession that I hadn't shared toys with my little brother), and then being given a set of prayers for it so I could be forgiven. Going from being smiley and carefree with friends to having to this this really solemn, serious, acted out event.
It's something I didn't subject my own children to. The youngest is around that age now. He would find it challenging as he's autistic. And upsetting. If asked I will just say it's not something we do.

And I should add, they are in a catholic school. Loads didn't make their communion. Some are secular like we are, some practise other religions.

I'd let her do it so she's not made to feel even more 'different'. If she doesn't enjoy the classes then fine just stop but at least let her try.

If it makes you feel uncomfortable you'd honestly be better off moving her to a non-religious school now. Confessions are a tiny part of what they'll be teaching your dd

I'm in my 30's now, was sent to catholic school and I would never recommend it to anyone personally. Obviously appropriate if the parents and children are practising catholics who go to church every week etc

Things might be different now but our sex education was an elderly woman coming into school and showing us a slideshow of std photos while telling us we would catch them if we had sex before marriage

I find the outrage at expecting 6 year olds to confess and repent ‘sins’ quite funny. I’ve never met a 6 year old who hasn’t done something to be sorry for - been unkind to a sibling, slammed a door, thrown a wobbly etc. that’s really all ‘sins’ are, behaviour that we are sorry for.

I made my fhc at 6, we had a story book catechism - I certainly understood the concept. I was a pious little thing - having said that I’ve been agnostic since around the age of 12 so it didn’t last very long!

This is true. I went to a catholic primary, went to mass most weeks with my dad, did my first holy communion and first confession, but when it came to doing confirmation when I was a teenager I started my ‘classes’ but then decided I didn’t believe enough to go through with it. So I didn’t. Hard conversation to have with my parents, especially my dad, but he understood and respected my decision and the fact that I respected the sacrament enough not to do it ‘just because’ and not for the right reasons.

I confessed my 'sins' to a priest who was subsequently convicted of Child Sex abuse. So I was forgiven for my 8 year old sins by a man who was touching up 8 year old boys. It's one of the reasons I didn't put FHC on my children. A disproportionate number the parents at my kids' primary school were traumatised by the thought if having to do their own confession before their child was allowed to do their FHC. Many didn't talk about why they didnt feel able to do it. But they were clearly traumatised by some experience to do with what had happened to them in church and received no sympathy from the church. We've since moved, and other places are better. The Catholic school was heavily oversubscribed so the church was able to coerce parents much more than they could in other places.

If you don't believe in God it doesn't mean anything, if you do Believe in God (and the Catholic faith) you would know it isn't the priest who forgives you, it is God.

My DH and myself were the same - he was keen for them to be christened and get their communion. I told the kids quite honestly why I'm not part of the catholic church. How they have done bad things and covered them up. How women aren't allowed to be in charge, only men. How they don't believe that people who are gay should marry who they want. So when I spoke to the kids about this they agreed with me and DH, who thought I was reading into to all a bit much, had to give in. Ultimately, they weren't christened as babies and he wasn't motivated enoughanyway to get them christened to get their communion (which would involve a bit more commitment because they were older)