Would you say this is a date?

[Giard]

A man I've known as an acquaintance for a long time, we have mutual friends in common, but I don't know him well at all.

He's had some stuff going on which some people have been quite unpleasant about. I can't really remember what made me do it, but I messaged him to ask how he is. I've never messaged him about anything before.

He sent a very long message, airing all his grievances, which would normally put me right off, but there something about this one where I feel supportive of him, he's not wrong, I guess why I contacted him in the first place.

Anyway, I said, this sounds like a conversation to be had over a beer, so we're going for a beer....

I dunno - it really depends what his problem are & whether I'd want to get tangled up in it all. He doesn't seem like he's in a good place to start a relationship/ date & you might be a convenient emotional dumping ground.

It's v hard to say with such vague info to go on but from what you've said I don't think I'd be interested in this being a date

It's something to do with a club he ran that he's stepped away from. Nothing to do with his romantic/sex life.

He's just looking for someone to offload his problems on.

When you date someone you present your best, most attractive self to them. If this is his then you need to run.

He's not trying to impress you. Just needs an emotional support animal.

It's not a date if you don't make it a date. Stay friendly but don't let it get into romantic territory.

TBF I approached him, he wasn't "looking" for me.

He did say some nice things about me during the course of our text exchange too.

I didn't intend it to be a date, I guess if there's something in it for me, it's just a widening of my social circle. I'm just wondering what he's thinking it is.

It's too vague to tell really.

Since it's been arranged just hope it goes well.

Yes, you offered yourself as a listening ear and he's taken you up on that. He isn't asking you on a date, it's a catch up for him to complain to you about his problems.

But if you're not sure, ask him. If he says it's a date, then expect him to behave as though he's on a date - I.e. be positive, thoughtful, complimentary, show interest in you. If he spends the whole time banging on about his problems, it may be a date but it's not a good one.

It sounds like you asked him out on a date to me.

Yes, I think maybe that's how it's come across too. Anyway, he has many good qualities and some bad ones, like most of us. ATM, I'm looking forward to a drink with an interesting person. We shall see.

So, I met him for a beer at 3:30 this afternoon and have just got home. He told me quite early on that he needed to leave at 7pm because he was going for a curry with his son, who was picking him up. He made his son wait...

Anyway, we had, I thought, a really good afternoon. Had "enough" to drink that we shared some confidences. He did bang on a bit about his problems, but he was also entertaining and asked a lot about me.

I still don't know if it was a date 😆 A male friend I saw yesterday said I'd know from the way he was dressed, which was made an effort casual, tbh he looked gorgeous...