A church for non-believers?

[ThreeRingCircus]

DD is in Brownies and we were asked to attend a church service on Sunday to show support (the church gives the use of it's hall to the Brownies and Guides for free.)

I am not religious in any way and do not believe in god but I have always liked churches. The history of the building, the atmosphere, the singing etc.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. The singing together, the vicar's sermon was funny and made DD laugh and was all about how tiny actions can add up to big changes so acting with kindness etc. What really struck me was the sense of community, the kindness with which we were welcomed and the good message for DD to hear.

DH is very anti-religion. He wouldn't step foot in a church voluntarily and says it would be hypocritical as we don't believe in god. But we've been talking about the positives about that service and how I actually feel I'd like to go back with DD. Ideally I'd like a community group that met once a week, listened to a talk and sang together.... essentially church without the god element! I don't think such a thing exists?

Do other people attend church despite not believing in god? I would feel a bit of a fraud I think but can't help thinking DD and I really got something out of the experience.

There is! It's called Sunday Assembly and it's a secular service basically with community and singing and all of that but without the religion 😊

www.sundayassembly.org

Yes, there's this!

www.sundayassembly.org/home

For those that do believe though, they'll say that the fact you enjoyed the church service so much is evidence of God's influence 😁 They were kind and welcoming to you as they felt moved to be by God's own influence in their own lives.

FWIW though, there are also many people who are not sure if they believe or not but still occasionally go to church. If it's all nonsense, so what 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t believe in god, but I have attended church many times and had my kids christened. Like you, I enjoy the songs and sense of community, and I think that’s enough.

So the church lets the brownies use the hall in exchange for them going to church? doesnt sound great

Yes, only three times a year (Easter, Harvest Festival and Christmas) but they do ask us to show support in exchange for being able to use the space.

I have never heard of Sunday Assembly! I shall check it out, thank you!

I enjoy the songs and sense of community, and I think that’s enough

This is what part of me thinks too.

Sorry I should have clarified that it's the Brownie Leaders asking us to show support rather than the church directly asking themselves.

Unitarians are so bloody liberal they accommodate all sorts. Read their newsletter which had an article from a church going unitarian talking about when she stopped (and stayed stopped) believing in God. Seems to be a home for lots of people who have fallen out with other religions. The spirituality bit seems to be optional with them!

The atheists’ hall was not freely available, I suppose.

Sunday Assembly isn't church though, is it? Its basically just humanists et al decrying Christianity whilst aping it. Humanists are odd. They criticise religion whilst being this weird pseudo type of religion themselves, and demanding to be able to tag on to all things religious. They really need to sort that out.

Yes. And it's also incredibly CofE. No one who grew up in a different religion would find it at all relatable (speaking as a Jewish atheist).

You're mistaken if you think every church is full of paid up, unquestioning believers. Unless it's a fundamentalist outfit which, personally, I'd avoid big time as doubt isn't a thing.

There are plenty of clergy who don't believe large chunks of it. Doesn't change the general message. Lots of people go for the sense of community, meeting others, socialising, sense of peace, space,music etc etc. Obviously they vary so you're not going to find all those in one building necessarily.

Best thing to leave behind when going into a church is preconceptions and take it as you find it. You obviously were pleasantly surprised.

"Show support" should not involve participating in a religion they might not follow.

Never heard of a hall that they only let atheists use.

As a life long Christian I can tell you there are a lot of people in the Church of England who don't believe in most or in some cases any of Christianity but still attend church. It works for them and I don't judge them. You can pick and choose which bits you participate in - no obligation to go up for a blessing, recite the creed etc, just rock up and be respectful. It's a lot more common than you think and I don't think it makes you a hypocrite. I mean, I would love it if everyone believed but if you just want to come along and enjoy the singing, the community aspect and even the tea and biscuits afterwards it's honestly cool. Many non-religious people have a craving for community struggle to access it in the secular world - you can come and hang out with us anytime you like, no pressure, no questions.

Is Sunday Assembly still going? We had a few of them here years ago, but the guy organising them stopped. He felt they were becoming too money focused.

@Youarecruel I was going to suggest a Unitarian church too. It's definitely a community of people whose belief in any kind of a higher power occupies all points of the spectrum.

A Quaker congregation might be a good bet too.

I don’t believe in God, but I was brought up CofE and went to a church primary school and Sunday school. My DC went to the same one and went to all the same Nativity, Christingle, Easter and Harvest Festival services as I did.

I don’t go to church, but when I’m in a church either for a wedding or funeral or looking round a cathedral, I feel a deep sense of calm and peace and safety.

I love the smell, the beauty, the kindness of the people there.

I definitely get something from it, even though I don’t believe in a God as such.

I was brought up Catholic. I haven’t been to Mass for quite a while but I’d be amazed if everyone going up for Communion subscribed to absolutely everything in Canon law.

As an aside, I was reading up on forms of OCD the other night and, apparently, being overly concerned with obeying the details of religious rules is an OCD trait labelled ‘scrupulosity’.

There's a book called The Christian Atheist that describes how you feel, you like the church setting, the overall message but not the specifics to God. You would be far from alone in a church, the majority even are agnostic. Even vicars rarely believe in the literal truth of the bible in my (quite extensive) experience, they are philosophical in their approach these days.

In London there is a non religious service organisation but it's way too happy clappy for me, I like a traditional evensong myself

I'm the opposite. I believe in a higher power. Divinity. But churches have been nothing but a let down, hypocrites, and honestly who believes the OT God and Jesus are the same? Come on! It's full of contradictions. Christians will pray for you because you're under attack from satan for questioning it. Yet are sleeping around, and hardly model examples

The church of England is awful. Thou salt not worship or make idols yet for Charles fancy dress party(coronation) Their God chose certain bloodline to sit on Gold and thrones, whilst kids die in wars and starve. All God's will you know. Your husband is right. Stay away.

I've just seen this and agree. As far as 'churches ' go they are probably more about what you're looking for.

Church of Satan - they don't actually believe in Satan, more like atheists who enjoy a good time.

This is something I struggled with for years. I'm Jewish and was brought up going to synagogue. The prayers and music are so familiar - I know the whole service by heart. It's a place of such familiarity and community. There would be a big gap in my life without it. But after lots of thinking, soul searching and reading I stopped believing in god around 10 years ago. I've made peace with it now. I join in the singing in the same way I'd sing along at any concert. They're just songs!