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Original poster

Parking drama on the street Whatsapp Group

90 replies

NailyDale · 19/09/2023 04:37

Mrs Groupchat set up a Whatsapp Group for the cul-de-sac, mostly because everyone wanted to bitch about the students in Party House. Apart from the bitching, most messages are "has anyone else lost power?" and "#14 - your rabbits are out again" and also a lot of messages from Mr Construction at #9 apologising for his builders digging through the cables again.

Until a few days ago when Mrs Hedge House BLEW UP the chat with a furious "WELL THANK YOU VERY MUCH WHOEVER HAS REPORTED MY CAR TO THE COUNCIL NOW I'VE GOT A $200 FINE AND ISN'T IT NICE TO KNOW MY NEIGHBOURS ARE SPYING ON ME AND AS IF I'VE GOT $200 SPARE IN THIS FINANCIAL CLIMATE" and so on. Lots of shocked emojis and everyone sympathised, and quickly started blaming Mr Construction's tenants because they're foreign, innit. Mr Construction was there on the chat saying that his tenants are lovely and barely speak English and definitely wouldn't know how to go about reporting cars to the council, and also that he had got a fine too. As an aside, it is Mr Construction turning his house into 5 flats that has caused the parking drama. So everyone started blaming the new people at #13. The reporting happened before they moved in, so it wasn't a watertight case, but they are new to the street so we might as well blame them. And then someone wondered if it might be the blonde lady who lives up the long drive who never talks to anyone. I actually do know the blonde lady, but she once got drunk and sang country and western songs on her balcony until 3am, and her balcony is about 4m from my bedroom, so I don't mind if people want to blame her. Then Mrs Hedge House had a grumble about Mr Construction's trucks squashing the grass verge on the roundabout, and Mr Construction pointed out that the rubbish trucks do that too, but said he would put some more grass seed out over the weekend.

So, yesterday I was at a sport thing with the kids and I bumped into a family from the bottom of the cul-de-sac. They're not on the group chat. I was telling them about the drama, and Mr Sport Family said, oh yeah, I've had a couple of fines too, it's Nice Old Man who reports everyone. Well, either him or his care visitor. I hear them complaining about the parking every day when she comes over.

OMG! Nice Old Man who has a fat corgie and stands at the end of his drive in the sunshine saying hello to people!? Shocked emoji. So now I KNOW who (probably) reported everyone, but obviously it would be knobbish to say so in the group chat so I just have to SECRETLY know.

OP posts:
Goodornot · 19/09/2023 04:41

Glad I don't live on your street it sounds so childish.

OwlBeGone · 19/09/2023 04:42

I enjoyed reading that.

AliceOlive · 19/09/2023 04:48

Don't tell! Knowing neighborhood secrets = power. I just found out one of my neighbors is high as a kite, all the time! No one has a clue and I am not telling.

Try to get more intel.

partypompoms · 19/09/2023 04:58

Everyone should post in this format

garlictwist · 19/09/2023 05:27

I love this! Bravo! No advice but you should write a series.

MaitlandGirl · 19/09/2023 05:28

That sounds so much like our street only I know who it is reporting the shitty parking on the street as it’s me! I’m sick of it and take great delight in contacting the rangers whenever necessary.

To be fair it seems as if they’re always only a few minutes away anyway so obviously they hang around here all the time.

Sunnysidegold · 19/09/2023 05:40

I love this post. Kind of like a cul de sac version of the archers.

My money is on the carers. They're fed up with having nowhere to park when they visit nice old man.

Or Mrs sport family trying to heat off her own reporting.

autienotnaughty · 19/09/2023 05:42

Yes tell you will be the hero of your street!

AlwaysFreezing · 19/09/2023 05:47

Great post. Missing a diagram tho.

Throwncrumbs · 19/09/2023 05:52

How come everyone’s got nice names? We have The Clampetts across the road, Dickhead and Fishwife next door, Revolving Door(never ending ‘new blokes’ living with her) The Lovely Girls (other side, new neighbours) and 3 doors away bloke who does cars up in the street is called No Job(never had a proper job in 20 years) most of them are nice apart from the Dickhead couple though

anon12345anon · 19/09/2023 05:56

Throwncrumbs · 19/09/2023 05:52

How come everyone’s got nice names? We have The Clampetts across the road, Dickhead and Fishwife next door, Revolving Door(never ending ‘new blokes’ living with her) The Lovely Girls (other side, new neighbours) and 3 doors away bloke who does cars up in the street is called No Job(never had a proper job in 20 years) most of them are nice apart from the Dickhead couple though

GrinGrinGrin

Malbecormerlot · 19/09/2023 06:03

Throwncrumbs · 19/09/2023 05:52

How come everyone’s got nice names? We have The Clampetts across the road, Dickhead and Fishwife next door, Revolving Door(never ending ‘new blokes’ living with her) The Lovely Girls (other side, new neighbours) and 3 doors away bloke who does cars up in the street is called No Job(never had a proper job in 20 years) most of them are nice apart from the Dickhead couple though

Ha ha we have the clampets too, the murderer (he works in a slaughter house not an actual murderer), the hash heads and the clique

TrainTrooper · 19/09/2023 06:04

garlictwist · 19/09/2023 05:27

I love this! Bravo! No advice but you should write a series.

I recently found an old podcast called "welcome to the neighbourhood" that is basically drama on peoples local facebook groups. Very entertaining!

DaisyMaisyFaisy · 19/09/2023 06:05

It sounds comical down your way!!! Why are people getting parking fines though? Where are they parking to get reported?

firstbabyworries · 19/09/2023 06:06

We have dickhead john, skanks, chad(like the guy always looking over the wall), fat bloke dog killer, vampire kids and loads more. It's great!

minipeony · 19/09/2023 06:09

partypompoms · 19/09/2023 04:58

Everyone should post in this format

Agreed

VeloVixen · 19/09/2023 06:11

But how does he know for sure it’s Nice Old Man? Sounds like he’s guessing because he heard him complaining about parking?

or maybe it’s mr not in the WhatsApp group who is reporting and he’s throwing you off the scent?

Misty84 · 19/09/2023 06:11

You should be a writer OP, very entertaining post! ☺️

Original poster
NailyDale · 19/09/2023 06:11

DaisyMaisyFaisy · 19/09/2023 06:05

It sounds comical down your way!!! Why are people getting parking fines though? Where are they parking to get reported?

Honestly, I don't understand that bit, and I park on my drive so I'm not too worried. I think Mr Construction was parked on the roundabout, so that makes sense, but I have no idea why Mrs Hedge House or Mr Sport Family got fines.

OP posts:
VeloVixen · 19/09/2023 06:12

Malbecormerlot · 19/09/2023 06:03

Ha ha we have the clampets too, the murderer (he works in a slaughter house not an actual murderer), the hash heads and the clique

Show quote history

We have Mr Dogshit from Dogshit House!

benoticanarsed · 19/09/2023 06:12

🤖🤖🤖🤖

Original poster
NailyDale · 19/09/2023 06:15

"or maybe it’s mr not in the WhatsApp group who is reporting and he’s throwing you off the scent?"

Subterfuge!!

OP posts:
GoodVibesHere · 19/09/2023 06:18

Could you add me to the WhatsApp?

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 19/09/2023 06:20

I love how the neighbours have a nickname. My dm used to give these names to her neighbours. The tank, the farmers, the short arse, baldy next door 😂 I miss her humour.

Soontobe60 · 19/09/2023 06:29

Throwncrumbs · 19/09/2023 05:52

How come everyone’s got nice names? We have The Clampetts across the road, Dickhead and Fishwife next door, Revolving Door(never ending ‘new blokes’ living with her) The Lovely Girls (other side, new neighbours) and 3 doors away bloke who does cars up in the street is called No Job(never had a proper job in 20 years) most of them are nice apart from the Dickhead couple though

Do you live in my street???
We have the knobheads next door - they tried to attach their Clampets - style wooden ‘gazebo’ to our extension a while ago and we’re shocked when we told them not to. Over the road is Botch it the builder - always really loud when he gets picked up for work at 6am, throwing his tools in the back of the van. Next door on the other side are nice new kids - just married, still in love, have loud sex. The end house is ‘The Rental’, last tenants were evicted, apparently stopped paying rent over lockdown, she turned up to court in a wheelchair because of her bad back that meant she was disabled, and cried (according to the landlord). In reality she kept horses at the stables down the road and rode past our house every day. Now there’s another New Young Woman living there who seems nice but is forever borrowing tools. Might get her a screwdriver set for Christmas. It’s an interesting street to live on!

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