This is both brilliant and awful! Keep updating 😂
I can just imagine the drama if we had one on our cul-de-sac. 8 houses, two young families where the Dads both grew up in those houses (mine included) and the rest have been here almost forever (barring No 6 who moved in ~10 years ago so she's new and oh so scandalous for moving her new man in years after her husband died!).
No 8 is a serial complainer and thinks he knows everything. Doesn't like single women, forriners, children, cars, cats, most things really. Fine with my dog though.
No 4 is a town Councillor and is the mayor sometimes and is lovely.
No 5 is a gossip, she's lovely but loves to know everybody elses business. Handy though.
No 6 is 'new', having moved in ~10 years ago with her husband who died not too long afterwards and then moved her new partner in a year or so ago so that's scandalous (she's wonderful!)
We're No 7 and attached to No 8 sadly. Bought the house from MIL.
My MIL (single woman, so therefore unreasonable by default) put up with a lot of nonsense with a stare and roll of the eyes over the years until he started lining up dead flies on the shared fence because they were coming from her/our garden apparently 😂
#8 has been whining about the drains for 30 years now, ours drains into his which goes to the street. He dragged my MIL round years ago to see "faeces" coming up his kitchen drain, it was white fat he was draining into his sink. He wasn't convinced and kept badgering until MIL told him that if his shit looked like that he needed to speak to his doctor!
My SIL and her partner lived here for 2 years before we bought the house (she was supposed to buy it, refused as she realised if she stayed long enough she'd have the right to stay and didn't think Mum would kick her out, she did). Fair enough, SIL and partner were arseholes, but No 8 next door came round with a huge conspiracy theory about the partner. Implied that he had 'contacts' and 'knew' a lot about the partner and his 'dodgy dealings' that he was keeping under his hat until he needed to use the information as if he is some intelligence agent. Partner is a twat and arsehole but he's not intelligent enough to manage any dodgy dealings.
No 8 also commented about SIL trashing the house with "How could she do that to her father?", a man who lived in the house that was owned outright and paid for solely by MIL very temporarily 20 years ago. He won't come round to talk to me because god forbid he talk to a woman about house stuff.
We put in planning permission for an extension recently and he's complained about the drains on our application, claiming that the water company is involved (they are not, our architect called them). This was after he came round trying to vaguely threaten my husband about how if we don't get a whole new drain not connected to his he'll say he's not happy with the extension (which is on the other side of the house so not affecting him at all!) Along with very wrong explanations about machines that can put new pipes in without even digging up the drive apparently. No 4 is on the town planning committee, she's finding the whole thing hilarious.
We also have 'parking issues', again, all imagined/caused by No 8. Has a double/triple drive, insists only his car is allowed on that drive so his kids and wife's carers park blocking his drive and in turn causing issues for us and No 6 reversing out of ours. He tells DH off saying that No 5 Mayor will put a word in at the council about us using the verge next to the turning circle to park on occasionally (which everybody including No 5 uses to park on occasionally).
He also complained/informed DH about the Dodgy Forriner who was scoping out my house. It was my [foreign - brown] Dad here at my request whilst I was at home.
We're not allowed to make noise after 8pm as they're in bed. My kids don't go to bed until 9pm. I've been lying next to my sleeping daughter at midnight before and he's been banging on the walls because she's knocked her knee against the wall as she's rolled over in her sleep.
This is cathartic.