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Original poster

My 18 month old has broken me - anyone else up?

57 replies

bakewellbride · 18/09/2023 01:17

She's going through a rough patch with her sleep and I've just got the end of the road with it.

She wants me to sit in the rocking chair for absolutely hours just holding her all night long.

I can't do it anymore. Im currently lying on the floor next to her cot bawling my eyes out. I've got no one to help me and an older child.

Can anyone help? She wants me to pick her up and get back to sitting there with her but I just physically no longer have the strength, I have nothing left to give.

I keep trying to reassure her through the tears and tell her to lie down but she won't and it's just so awful. I need sleep, I can't cope.

OP posts:
CoffeeBeansGalore · 18/09/2023 01:21

@bakewellbride Sorry to read this. It does get better.
Just for tonight can you take her into your bed and cuddle her to sleep? You both then may get some rest.

Original poster
bakewellbride · 18/09/2023 01:21

I've just had to pick her up as I can't take her crying anymore so now I'm sat in the rocking hair just holding her and crying. She's fast asleep on my shoulder but I just know as soon as I put her down she'll wake up and it'll all just start again and it's hell.

The other night I was in her room for 4 hours trying to get her to sleep. I finally got to crawl into bed at 3:30 then my eldest woke at 6 ready to start the day and it was just awful.

OP posts:
Original poster
bakewellbride · 18/09/2023 01:23

@CoffeeBeansGalore I can't do that for lots of reasons. My eldest sleeps ends up in our bed and there is no room. It makes me too anxious so I can't sleep. Dh's alarm for work goes off soon and he'd wake her. I'm just at my wits end.

OP posts:

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CoffeeBeansGalore · 18/09/2023 01:24

I'm so sorry. Sleep deprivation is awful. Seriously take her into your bed. Keep cuddling her. Get some sleep.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 18/09/2023 01:25

Sorry. Xpost.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 18/09/2023 01:26

Can you get comfy & cosy on the floor with her? Blankets, pillows etc.

onwardandupwards · 18/09/2023 01:26

Its awful, my dd 5 is like this. ( has been since 12 ish months) I actually put my mattress on the floor and we co sleep, I have a younger ds and a older ds who both need me and ds gets up ridiculously early. Lack of sleep is horrendous, im a single parent and co sleeping saved my sanity ( apologies if you've already tried this) my hv was also brilliant but I know they are hit and miss xx

onwardandupwards · 18/09/2023 01:29

I bought a mattress and it is in her room so we don't disturb anyone else as ds 3 often gets in mine which is also on floor.

Original poster
bakewellbride · 18/09/2023 01:29

I could honestly never ever have any more children. At least o know this is just a phase and it will blow over. When she was a baby this was my life and it was also actually much worse than this so when I'm low I thank god those days are over. A real tough first 11 months. Thanks to all who have posted.

OP posts:
CoffeeBeansGalore · 18/09/2023 01:29

Obviously not tonight but can you get one of those night time projector lights? Might help.

sandybeaches74 · 18/09/2023 01:35

Just take her to bed with you tonight and then when you feel more rested, work on her sleeping in her own cot. I once spent 3 hours lying my DD back down but the perseverance pays off in the end. Not when you're exhausted though. Snuggle up with her and get some rest Flowers

Ireallydontwantto · 18/09/2023 01:43

I’m in the rocking chair!! With my 12 month old and I’m pretty sure I’ve just heard my 4 yo old climb into bed with dh!!
im having one more attempt at putting him into his cot if it’s a no go dh will have to take 4 yo back to his room and we’ll co sleep with the baby. My friend and her dh sleep with one ds each. Do whatever you can to get sleep!! I work with a lady who works in the natural healing field she says make sure they are getting plenty of protein. They grow through the night if they haven’t got enough protein their little bodies will be struggling and they won’t be able to sleep through the discomfort. Sorry you’re so upset, I get it I really do. A good night for me is a quick re settle on the boob at 10,12,4 then up at 7:30. I’m yet to of got into bed tonight though! still in my clothes! I’ll keep an eye on this thread, hope you get some sleep x x x x

sthisbest · 18/09/2023 02:13

Take her into bed with you. Life is too short to lose sleep unnecessarily. It is easier to cope if you get enough sleep.

momonpurpose · 18/09/2023 02:16

Ireallydontwantto · 18/09/2023 01:43

I’m in the rocking chair!! With my 12 month old and I’m pretty sure I’ve just heard my 4 yo old climb into bed with dh!!
im having one more attempt at putting him into his cot if it’s a no go dh will have to take 4 yo back to his room and we’ll co sleep with the baby. My friend and her dh sleep with one ds each. Do whatever you can to get sleep!! I work with a lady who works in the natural healing field she says make sure they are getting plenty of protein. They grow through the night if they haven’t got enough protein their little bodies will be struggling and they won’t be able to sleep through the discomfort. Sorry you’re so upset, I get it I really do. A good night for me is a quick re settle on the boob at 10,12,4 then up at 7:30. I’m yet to of got into bed tonight though! still in my clothes! I’ll keep an eye on this thread, hope you get some sleep x x x x

I have never heard of the protein for sleep but it makes sense. I wish I'd known that when mine was little

julesagainstana · 18/09/2023 02:28

this is probably awful advice, but do you have a spare mattress? you could try setting up a floor bed and sleeping alongside each other perhaps

fairymary87 · 18/09/2023 03:15

DH needs to help you. Force him. I'm be done it with mien. The sleep deprivation is a joke. No one should feel that way. He can help. He will just have to be tiered too xx

JennyForeigner · 18/09/2023 03:18

Solidarity. We have twins with bad colds (and bad tummies) and a four year old who thinks their coughing is about him. I'm on my own this week as my husband is away with work.

It's going to be fucking miserable.

ChillysWaterBottle · 18/09/2023 04:35

I'm so sorry OP. Your partner needs to do a night shift so you can have an uninterrupted night's sleep. You're supposed to be a team so it's only fair that childcare responsibilities are divvied up when he's not working. Sleep deprivation is just horrific x

WeWereInParis · 18/09/2023 07:09

I've got no one to help me and an older child.

You mention a DH in another post - he has to help! He can't just leave you with next to no sleep while he gets a nice 8 hours.

Original poster
bakewellbride · 18/09/2023 07:20

@WeWereInParis last night he had to sleep so he can drive the ambulance. I'm going to leave this thread now, all the presumptuous comments about dh are not helpful. When he doesn't have work the next day he is brilliant and gives me plenty of sleep but he's been working a lot recently and I don't feel comfortable waking him when he needs sleep. Please don't judge unless you know the full story.

OP posts:
Notquitegrownup2 · 18/09/2023 08:16

Oh bless you! Sleep deprivation is used as torture for a reason. It's just the worst.
When you can, get the rocking chair in the loft and get a matress or sleeping bags down on the floor to make a snuggle space, so you can sleep and cuddle her. It won't last forever.
And once a week go to bed when the kids go to sleep at 8pm or whenever. Top up your sleep tank and look after yourself. Xx

LizzieSiddal · 18/09/2023 08:23

Flowers don’t leave the thread, just ignore those comments you don’t like.

Dd2 was like this, we put a single bed right next to ours and just let her sleep in that. She slept through the night from the first night. And remember many billions of babies and toddlers sleep in the same room as their parents all over the world, it’s perfectly normal!

Boshi · 18/09/2023 08:31

Have you considered sleep training? My 15 mth was similar, she would wake up and play for an hour plus in the middle of the night and then after 45m sleep be awake for 5am.. it was killing me. Spent a painful week sleep training and now we just put her in bed, she’s asleep within minutes and up at 6:30-7.

I’ll be honest it was cc which became cry it out but it was 3/4 difficult days and then she ‘got it’. Now she waves goodnight to everyone as she goes up to bed, before she used to cry as soon as she was in her sleeping bag

I sympathise, I really wanted to co-sleep as dd is my last but the lack of sleep was affecting us all

RooRoo456 · 18/09/2023 11:58

We were the same and bought a small double floor bed and it was the best thing we did. When she wakes one of us can go and lie with her until she falls asleep and then leave. That way you're still getting rest. Eventually she started sleeping through.

Flossypantsmummy · 18/09/2023 11:59

Put her in bed with you! It won’t be forever..