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Original poster

My 18 month old has broken me - anyone else up?

57 replies

bakewellbride · 18/09/2023 01:17

She's going through a rough patch with her sleep and I've just got the end of the road with it.

She wants me to sit in the rocking chair for absolutely hours just holding her all night long.

I can't do it anymore. Im currently lying on the floor next to her cot bawling my eyes out. I've got no one to help me and an older child.

Can anyone help? She wants me to pick her up and get back to sitting there with her but I just physically no longer have the strength, I have nothing left to give.

I keep trying to reassure her through the tears and tell her to lie down but she won't and it's just so awful. I need sleep, I can't cope.

OP posts:

Appleontherocks · 19/09/2023 15:30

She's not ready to sleep alone

IHopeThisFindsYouWell · 19/09/2023 15:35

That sounds really hard. I've had a few nights on the floor of the nursery over the years.

My 1yo DD sleeps with a music/stars projecter which seems to calm her.
My previous DD took a dummy which was a lifesaver.
My DS took a bottle of milk to bed with him and fell asleep with it, probably against parenting law or something but it worked.

I hope you can find a solution, sleep deprivation is awful.

Rooroo42 · 20/09/2023 08:47

I totally get how hard it is, my daughters are 11 months apart and eldest wasn’t even sleeping through when youngest came along. My husband simply couldn’t help at night, he had to sleep because of the job he does, he would try and give me a night off once a week but daughters wouldn’t settle for him so we would both be up. The only way I got through and I don’t know if your house would allow for this but I had both children in my room with me at night, husband could then sleep undisturbed, I just got them in bed with me if they wouldn’t settle, I put cot railings around my bed so they were safe and we all slept much better. It didn’t cause any long term problems with them sleeping on there own, I think youngest was about 1 by the time I was permanently back in my own bed. Your going through a tough patch it will pass and in the meantime make sure you have somewhere comfortable you can lie down and sleep with your daughter - even a blow up bed on her floor would be preferable to sitting in a rocking chair for hours on end. Hope it gets easier for you

Interested in this thread?

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cutegorilla · 20/09/2023 20:59

ARRRGGGGHHHHHHH · 19/09/2023 09:00

My daughter was 4 when I finally couldn’t take it anymore and booked a sleep specialist. She basically taught us on zoom meetings what we needed to do and it was the best £150 we ever spent. I know you might not be in a position to do that so the basic rules are:
1 make her room somewhere she wants to be, we had a little bedroom party and helped her out some special things on the wall as well as a night light.
2 have a routine and let her know what’s coming next, ie bath, pjs, story, night light, sleep
3 after the stories - and this is the mega one - she called it pottering pop ins. So while she’s nice and calm, just say I’ve just got to go to the loo and I’ll be back, and make sure you go back. Then think of another reason, but basically don’t be there constantly while she’s falling asleep. This was the absolute game changer for us because when she woke in the night she wasn’t expecting one of us to be there.

good luck, I know it’s hell on Earth.

I like the name "pottering pop ins" we didn't have that name for it but we did exactly that with one of mine as a toddler and it worked really well.

The other thing I'd look at is how much sleep she's getting during the day. One of mine was waking early and I fell into the trap of letting them have a long nap in the day because we were both tired, but that just fed into the early waking the next day. After a few tough days with reduced naps we got much more sensible wake times.

On the other hand another of mine was not getting to sleep because of being overtired. They had dropped to one nap in the day but come bedtime they were inconsolable despite being clearly very tired. Putting them to bed earlier fixed that one.

It's important to look at sleep over the whole 24hrs, not just what is happening at night. Sometimes you get so stuck in the moment you can't see the wood for the trees.

I hope things improve soon for you. I remember well that feeling of desperation for sleep.

Princespea · 21/09/2023 15:49

Haven't read the whole thread, but what about buying her a single bed and getting in with her? Then you can sneak out and go to bed yourself

Normalweirdo · 21/09/2023 20:59

I've done more than a few nights sleeping on the couch with dd at that age. Hubby was up early for work and I was sahm. Some nights dd would sleep in with us. We done what we had to do to get sleep. The "routine " changed as she went through phases of teething and growing. Don't ever feel bad for doing what works for you and your child. My friends joke that we raised my dd like a gruffallo because of intermittent co sleeping but at least we slept. She's a polite, intelligent, well rounded teen now that sleeps well all by herself.

coxesorangepippin · 22/09/2023 02:13

Hope you're having a better night op 💐

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