Make me feel better with your tales of animal debauchery

[aduckinarow]

I've a dog . I love him dearly . But my cos they're disgusting creatures at times

I've just gone downstairs to the faint smell of dog poo

Searched for the offending smell, (he has been out btw )

Found a small stain on the carpet which is luckily very easy to clean as anti stain carpet but - this means he has shat on the floor and unless he went and got a doggy bag , picked it up and put it in the bin ......it means he ate it . 🤢

He's acting like nothing happened. I've had to steam the carpet with dettol.

Why are animals such , animals !

Obviously, that's human rather than juman

I used to have the most angelic beautiful cavalier King Charles spaniel

He liked to hump his ragga toy and his happy endings used to travel at least 4 feet across the room 😂

It was bad enough but he chose to do it more in polite company

I came on just to see how many posted had admitted to illegal acts!

Mine loves horse poo. Haven’t had the dreaded fox poo incident yet.

I've a terrier too who is generally pretty good but did once choose a fox poo incident with a brand new coat on .

I swear to god he actually smiled at me afterwards.

We regularly have breakfast while our Giant African Land Snails make love on the sideboard.

The kids say 'they are jabbing again' with an eye roll of resignation

I fear the worst when I go into the garden looking for cat poo and there is none . DDog has been known to clear up cat vomit . She sometimes just stands there in the park while a Labrador starts licking her nether regions - I secretly smile to myself when the often male owner of the Labrador looks flustered .

😂 Don't be bashful now

My dog ate half a container of tadpoles/frog spawn (this was in the 80s), then vomited it back into the bucket and killed the rest.

My now SIL brought her dog to meet her new boyfriend's mother and it vomited a dead magpie onto the carpet in front of the neatly laid out tea tray.

My Mum's dog left a dead blackbird under her pillow for her.

There used to be a little dog I'd encounter often when walking mine, and as soon as my boy got close she'd lift one of her back legs to facilitate access for a darn good licking from mine.

Every. Single. Time.

This has led me to googling how snails mate 😯

Yeah mines the same 🙈

On the sideboard? Have they no decorum?

Yes one of my dogs loves to eat cowpats. She likes to flick them around a bit like a frisby first then munches on them.

One of my cats ate the chicken breast my next door neighbour was having for his dinner and then shat in his bath

That made me laugh out loud 😂

Their tank is on the sideboard, but they enjoy their activities right at the front of it, often while eyeballing anyone unfortunate enough to need breakfast...

Other favourite activities include pooing in their water dish and pooing on each other. I don't think they've eaten their own poo though, so it could be worse..

Having had 2 very prissy cats I aways thought they were above this kind of behaviour.

Dogs on the other hand ....

The horse surprised me somewhat.

Luckily the neighbour is quite fond of him , although he was more careful where he left his dinner after that

My adorable pug regularly needs her anal glands doing as she generally whiffs like billingsgate fish market. Regardless of how often I get her 'done' she still squirts grot over the sofa which reeks of kipper until I locate it

Dogs are fucking repulsive

Made me laugh out loud 😂

Older DCat will lick clean younger DCat's butt when younger DCat has been careless in using the litter tray.

Today I felt something on my right bare foot and, thinking it was just little stone, mindlessly wiped it off on my left calve (wearing shorts). Turns out it was a bit of poo. I have not yet found the source of the poo.

My niece's old labrador used to help himself to her worn knickers, swallow them whole, then poo them out on the patio. Grim creature.

Wait, what?
WHAT????

The dog fellates your parrot? Do parrots have willies?
Does he rim him?

What?