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Original poster

Partners home smells musty

143 replies

Leoliving · 17/09/2023 20:46

Hi,

I’ve moved in with my partner and he’s not the most domesticated. This has been a struggle as I was taught to clean from a young age and I’m generally very house proud. He’s never been shown how to properly clean things so I’ve shown him how to do certain things. He’s been very receptive and is a lot better now. He’s not a slob per se but has slobbish tendencies which are thankfully improving after living alone for some years. His home tends to get dusty which aggravates my allergies. He also wasn’t properly ventilating by opening windows as he didn’t want his pet to escape. Pet is no longer with us so the animal smell has gone but there’s a musty odour that persists. We’re going to do a deep clean this week so I was wondering if there’s anything in particular we can do to get rid of it once and for all and quickly? I really don’t like the smell and it clings to my clothes and hair. We’ve cleaned the carpet and the sofa and I’ve bought a steamer in the hope that will help. Also going to get a second dehumidifier for downstairs as we dry clothes indoors due to no garden. I’ve checked and there’s no mould. Any tips would be greatly appreciated

OP posts:
Deathbyfluffy · 18/09/2023 11:48

CynicalUsee · 17/09/2023 21:16

He won't change. You have now become his house maid. Good luck.

Can you read fgs? That's literally the opposite of what's happening - he's keen to learn!

BodegaSushi · 18/09/2023 11:57

I’ve moved in with my partner and he’s not the most domesticated.

Did you never see/smell his house before? Just can't understand why you'd move into a home with someone who isn't 'domesticated' who's place smells

BodegaSushi · 18/09/2023 11:59

Gettingbysomehow · 17/09/2023 22:03

I wasn't taught a damned thing at home but my house is still neat and tidy and smells nice.
Quite honestly I couldn't move in with anyone who couldn't keep house properly.

And then a few years down the line it will be 'help what can I do? The father of my 3 children is useless and doesn't do anything around the house. He never did and I moved with him and bred with him regardless, any advice?'

sunglassesonthetable · 18/09/2023 12:06

And then a few years down the line it will be 'help what can I do? The father of my 3 children is useless and doesn't do anything around the house. He never did and I moved with him and bred with him regardless, any advice?'

Of course it will🙄

SparklingLime · 18/09/2023 12:10

An adult man who is so minging that the smell clings to his partner is "keen to learn"...

Want to buy a bridge, @Deathbyfluffy?

LuluBlakey1 · 18/09/2023 12:15

What happened to his pet?

PatFussy · 18/09/2023 12:23

Running a dehumidifier for a few hours each day might help. My house is old can have that old house smell. I find running the dehumidifier in the mornings really helps. It's so satisfying to see how much water it collects too!

LadyChilli · 18/09/2023 12:39

Watch it's not the house itself. I've known a couple of people experience this and it has been a result of damp - either known damp or an undiscovered long term leak behind the bath. All the people I've known it happen to are spotlessly clean themselves and all appeared to be unaware of the whiff of damp on their clothes so something like that can be the case for a long time without the person realising, if it has come on gradually.

Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 12:41

BodegaSushi · 18/09/2023 11:59

And then a few years down the line it will be 'help what can I do? The father of my 3 children is useless and doesn't do anything around the house. He never did and I moved with him and bred with him regardless, any advice?'

Show quote history

Except that’s not the case here is it? He does clean properly now so I highly doubt that’s going to be my issue down the line. Reading is fundamental

OP posts:
Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 12:43

SparklingLime · 18/09/2023 10:45

He initially said cleaning isn’t one of his strengths but then followed it up with “but i need to learn so please can you show me?” He was very embarrassed and yes I was annoyed he didn’t know as it was instilled in me from a young age. But the willingness to learn won me over. Not once has he pushed back. Surely that should count for something

It counts for nothing unless he gets his own house clean now, and then keeps up with his fair share the of cleaning.

If he was serious he would have learnt from YouTube etc. It's not brain surgery.

Right, because cleaning is comparable to brain surgery. Hope you’re feeling limber after that huge stretch

OP posts:
Janieforever · 18/09/2023 12:44

I heat what you’re saying. But my reaction was the same as the others, he’s slobbish tendancies as no one showed him how to clean ? But your mum did with you from a young age. So whose job do you think that was to show him. His mothers by any chance? Never blame a man when you can look around for a woman to blame?.

I also don’t understand how it gor to the stage of you moving in without addressing it. Didn’t you stay with him ever? You must have known it was like this?

I mean you said it’s so bad the smell actually clings to your clothes. So it must have been clinging to his clothes before you moved in so you knew both him and his home smelled.

Yet never showed appetite to show him how to clean, even though you consider this an actual thing, that people need to be shown.

Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 12:45

Interesting how this has descended into my partner being called minging amongst other things. His personal hygiene is actually very good. He never smells, his house is just a bit whiffy. Really not the end of the world. Some of these comments are beyond rude and unhelpful. Thank you to those who have provided actual cleaning advice.

OP posts:
Janieforever · 18/09/2023 12:46

Leoliving · 18/09/2023 12:43

Right, because cleaning is comparable to brain surgery. Hope you’re feeling limber after that huge stretch

Show quote history

Sorry. Just to point out. The poster said it’s not like brain surgery, they didn’t say it is.

Janieforever · 18/09/2023 12:46

Leoliving · 18/09/2023 12:45

Interesting how this has descended into my partner being called minging amongst other things. His personal hygiene is actually very good. He never smells, his house is just a bit whiffy. Really not the end of the world. Some of these comments are beyond rude and unhelpful. Thank you to those who have provided actual cleaning advice.

But how? How is it making you smell and clinging to your clothes but not him? If that’s the case, ask him how he’s managing it?

Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 12:49

Janieforever · 18/09/2023 12:44

I heat what you’re saying. But my reaction was the same as the others, he’s slobbish tendancies as no one showed him how to clean ? But your mum did with you from a young age. So whose job do you think that was to show him. His mothers by any chance? Never blame a man when you can look around for a woman to blame?.

I also don’t understand how it gor to the stage of you moving in without addressing it. Didn’t you stay with him ever? You must have known it was like this?

I mean you said it’s so bad the smell actually clings to your clothes. So it must have been clinging to his clothes before you moved in so you knew both him and his home smelled.

Yet never showed appetite to show him how to clean, even though you consider this an actual thing, that people need to be shown.

Please show me where I blamed a woman? I haven’t mentioned his mother directly. I said his PARENTS did everything for him. My mum showed me because my dad is no longer with us. Kind of hard to explain the benefits of damp dusting when you’re 6 feet under. Funnily enough he’s the one who thought me how to cook. And yes I addressed it with him but we mainly stayed at my place as his pet was a rescue and very anxious around new people. Our main focus was clearing stuff out as he’s sentimental about things and did have more stuff than he needed. We’ve slowly been cleaning everything and have reached a point where everything is now clean but it seems we need to to a deeper clean to get rid of the smell. It’s a smell that’s built up over years so getting rid of it will take longer than a few minutes

OP posts:
Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 12:51

Janieforever · 18/09/2023 12:46

But how? How is it making you smell and clinging to your clothes but not him? If that’s the case, ask him how he’s managing it?

Show quote history

Sorry I meant his actual body. His clothes do have a bit of a damp smell like mine. I’m assuming it’s because of a lack of airing. I stayed with my ex at his family’s holiday home and it had been unoccupied for 6 months. It had the same musty smell but a hell of a lot worse.

OP posts:
sunglassesonthetable · 18/09/2023 12:52

Loving these people who lead such charmed lives that they don't know people who don't give a shit about cleaning.

4 kids . Some care some don't.

SparklingLime · 18/09/2023 12:52

Leoliving · 18/09/2023 12:45

Interesting how this has descended into my partner being called minging amongst other things. His personal hygiene is actually very good. He never smells, his house is just a bit whiffy. Really not the end of the world. Some of these comments are beyond rude and unhelpful. Thank you to those who have provided actual cleaning advice.

I really don’t like the smell and it clings to my clothes and hair.

But he never smells?

I commented as you seemed rather naive and to be potentially getting into a situation that for someone so house-proud could be a nightmare.

You did post this in Chat, OP, and gave context about the relationship. People are bound to be concerned/horrified and comment accordingly. Less risk of that if you had posted on a cleaning board.

LuluBlakey1 · 18/09/2023 12:52

What happened to his pet?

Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 12:52

SparklingLime · 18/09/2023 12:52

I really don’t like the smell and it clings to my clothes and hair.

But he never smells?

I commented as you seemed rather naive and to be potentially getting into a situation that for someone so house-proud could be a nightmare.

You did post this in Chat, OP, and gave context about the relationship. People are bound to be concerned/horrified and comment accordingly. Less risk of that if you had posted on a cleaning board.

Show quote history

I’ll post on whatever board I like thanks. I didn’t realise the board determined whether you respond like a twat or not?

OP posts:
sunglassesonthetable · 18/09/2023 12:53

You did post this in Chat, OP, and gave context about the relationship. People are bound to be concerned/horrified and comment accordingly. Less risk of that if you had posted on a cleaning board.

concerned/horrified

Dear me.

Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 12:53

LuluBlakey1 · 18/09/2023 12:52

What happened to his pet?

Why does this matter?

OP posts:
friedplantain2023 · 18/09/2023 12:53

She's said in her opening post that she's had the carpets and sofa cleaned.

Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 12:54

sunglassesonthetable · 18/09/2023 12:53

You did post this in Chat, OP, and gave context about the relationship. People are bound to be concerned/horrified and comment accordingly. Less risk of that if you had posted on a cleaning board.

concerned/horrified

Dear me.

Right? We have a cost of living crisis, war in Ukraine & a shitty government but a lack of dusting is what has people clutching their pearls.

OP posts:
SparklingLime · 18/09/2023 12:55

I’ll post on whatever board I like thanks. I didn’t realise the board determined whether you respond like a twat or not?

You sound delightful, OP, if very defensive.

Swipe left for the next trending thread