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Original poster

Partners home smells musty

143 replies

Leoliving · 17/09/2023 20:46

Hi,

I’ve moved in with my partner and he’s not the most domesticated. This has been a struggle as I was taught to clean from a young age and I’m generally very house proud. He’s never been shown how to properly clean things so I’ve shown him how to do certain things. He’s been very receptive and is a lot better now. He’s not a slob per se but has slobbish tendencies which are thankfully improving after living alone for some years. His home tends to get dusty which aggravates my allergies. He also wasn’t properly ventilating by opening windows as he didn’t want his pet to escape. Pet is no longer with us so the animal smell has gone but there’s a musty odour that persists. We’re going to do a deep clean this week so I was wondering if there’s anything in particular we can do to get rid of it once and for all and quickly? I really don’t like the smell and it clings to my clothes and hair. We’ve cleaned the carpet and the sofa and I’ve bought a steamer in the hope that will help. Also going to get a second dehumidifier for downstairs as we dry clothes indoors due to no garden. I’ve checked and there’s no mould. Any tips would be greatly appreciated

OP posts:
LucyAnnTrent · 17/09/2023 23:32

Could it be mice? They can cause a musty smell. Check at the back of kitchen cupboards or behind kick boards for mouse droppings.

Chunkyspunkymunkey · 18/09/2023 00:16

Good for you OP. A decent man is hard to find. Some people have no idea how to make and keep a home.

I would suggest you replace anything you cannot wash with bleach! I can’t bear the thought of sitting on smelly furniture or mattresses or cushions.

It’s easy to end up with smells- pets, cooking, airing, not cleaning and once you done the big clean it will be so much better. This is clearly the start of a new life for you and a much better life for him.

Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 01:20

LucyAnnTrent · 17/09/2023 23:32

Could it be mice? They can cause a musty smell. Check at the back of kitchen cupboards or behind kick boards for mouse droppings.

Thankfully not. I think it’s due to a lack of a deep clean and lack of airing. I think cooking and pet smells along with drying laundry inside have caused it. Lots of great tips though so I’m confident we can get rid of it

OP posts:
Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 01:21

Chunkyspunkymunkey · 18/09/2023 00:16

Good for you OP. A decent man is hard to find. Some people have no idea how to make and keep a home.

I would suggest you replace anything you cannot wash with bleach! I can’t bear the thought of sitting on smelly furniture or mattresses or cushions.

It’s easy to end up with smells- pets, cooking, airing, not cleaning and once you done the big clean it will be so much better. This is clearly the start of a new life for you and a much better life for him.

Thank you! He’s a great man, he just needed a nudge in the right direction with regards to cleaning. We’ve got a list of things to try so fingers crossed they work

OP posts:
HeffyAgain · 18/09/2023 06:27

If it is a pet smell cleaning the carpets with a 'wet' cleaner can make it worse.
It pushes the smell down into the underlay then doesn't dry properly for ages and just makes the problem worse.
It might need new carpets (Inc new underlay) to fully get rid of the smell unfortunately.

TheDaphne · 18/09/2023 06:33

But why would someone who self-describes as ‘house-proud’ voluntarily move in with a partner whose house is unventilated, dirty and smelly to the point where it clings to her hair and clothes?

Tlolljs · 18/09/2023 06:36

I think I would have sorted it out before I moved in but too late now.
Clean everything! Wash anything fabric, new cushions, throws, pillows, duvets. Open the windows. You might have to buy new carpets.
Good luck.

Augustus40 · 18/09/2023 06:40

Burn inceanse. Use Febreze on sofas etc. Wash cushion covers.

CyberCritical · 18/09/2023 06:43

If he hasn't properly ventilated the house then you should check behind any furniture, particularly furniture against external walls to see if there is any mould/mildew.

Superwooman · 18/09/2023 06:47

I think walls can hold greasy cooking smells -paint the walls and ceilings.

madeinmanc · 18/09/2023 07:19

Please don't cover it with other smells like the dreaded Febreeze or incense.

I'd get a new mattress if I were you, also ideally sofa or sofa cushions also as both of these things are notorious for holding onto smells.

By the way, there is a "conflict" of sorts if you do get a dehumidifier. If you do, the windows need to be closed for it to work.

Tigertigertigertiger · 18/09/2023 07:59

Mumsnet is so screwed.
Poster asked for advice on cleaning and her happy relationship gets torn to shreds

Tigertigertigertiger · 18/09/2023 08:00

What kind of pet was it ?

CrunchyCarrot · 18/09/2023 08:11

I think it's great you have a partner who wants to learn OP! I had very little clue about cleaning (and still don't in some areas), it's not something you can readily ask others about 'excuse me, can you explain in detail how to clean a toilet thoroughly?' 😂Now we have the Internet and YouTube videos on just about every subject, you can find out how to do some of these tasks without getting embarrassed!

As to the musty house smell, apart from the dog smells that will linger, my first thought is mould, sometimes it is hiding and so hard to find! I am currently trying to track down a strong mouldy smell in our living room (which has needed redecorating for years) so we are biting the bullet and getting it done, new plaster and everything replaced. That is quite drastic though!

Just take it systematically and I am certain in the end you'll succeed. Good luck!

Dogon · 18/09/2023 08:45

Only on MN do you get such negative relationship comments when all you were asking for was cleaning tips🙄

TheDaphne · 18/09/2023 08:51

Dogon · 18/09/2023 08:45

Only on MN do you get such negative relationship comments when all you were asking for was cleaning tips🙄

One of the benefits of Mn is that someone comes on posting about what they think is a minor, discrete issue, and a couple of question from different perspectives make the OP realise there are far bigger issues.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong in this instance with pointing out that moving in with a slob with a smelly house he somehow hasn’t noticed until he got a ‘house-proud’ woman in, and believes he hasn’t the skills to clean, doesn’t exactly sound like love’s young dream. Strategic incompetence is pretty unattractive.

Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 10:04

HeffyAgain · 18/09/2023 06:27

If it is a pet smell cleaning the carpets with a 'wet' cleaner can make it worse.
It pushes the smell down into the underlay then doesn't dry properly for ages and just makes the problem worse.
It might need new carpets (Inc new underlay) to fully get rid of the smell unfortunately.

We only have carpet on the stairs thankfully. If the other things don’t help we’ll have to replace it. We did clean it with a spot washer but it sucked up a good amount of liquid and it was dry the next day with the dehumidifier

OP posts:
Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 10:06

TheDaphne · 18/09/2023 06:33

But why would someone who self-describes as ‘house-proud’ voluntarily move in with a partner whose house is unventilated, dirty and smelly to the point where it clings to her hair and clothes?

Because I’m not unreasonable and I know that not everyone knows how to clean. We all have to be shown how to do something at some point. The real question is why wouldn’t I move in and continue a relationship with a lovely man that just so happens to not be good at cleaning? A man who then admitted he needs to get better and has gotten better in a short space of time?

OP posts:
Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 10:08

madeinmanc · 18/09/2023 07:19

Please don't cover it with other smells like the dreaded Febreeze or incense.

I'd get a new mattress if I were you, also ideally sofa or sofa cushions also as both of these things are notorious for holding onto smells.

By the way, there is a "conflict" of sorts if you do get a dehumidifier. If you do, the windows need to be closed for it to work.

Ah ok I didn’t know the window needs to be closed. I guess we can close them for brief periods during the day and leave it on overnight with the windows closed. Thanks for letting me know

OP posts:
SparklingLime · 18/09/2023 10:09

There's an amazing number of men who find cleaning is "just not one of his strengths".

I'd be very careful about how he steps up over the longer term, OP.

Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 10:11

TheDaphne · 18/09/2023 08:51

One of the benefits of Mn is that someone comes on posting about what they think is a minor, discrete issue, and a couple of question from different perspectives make the OP realise there are far bigger issues.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong in this instance with pointing out that moving in with a slob with a smelly house he somehow hasn’t noticed until he got a ‘house-proud’ woman in, and believes he hasn’t the skills to clean, doesn’t exactly sound like love’s young dream. Strategic incompetence is pretty unattractive.

Show quote history

Again, please can people stop pushing their own narratives. Yes he initially was a bit of a slob. He’s lived on his own for 6 years and was the youngest at home so his parents did everything. Not great but he realised it wasn’t great and changed. We share the cleaning equally so I don’t know why you think he’s strategically incompetent? Some on here are appearing to be wilfully ignorant as they keep glossing over the fact I said he’s changed! I asked for advice on getting rid of a persistent smell. Him not knowing how to clean is no longer an issue. We just need to do a deeper clean it seems. I’m sure there are things you don’t know and would need someone to show you how to do.

OP posts:
SweetBirdsong · 18/09/2023 10:12

Dealbreaker. Ewwwww! Confused

Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 10:13

Dogon · 18/09/2023 08:45

Only on MN do you get such negative relationship comments when all you were asking for was cleaning tips🙄

It’s annoying and I’m honestly quite surprised. So often on here women complain they’re left to do all the housework and people rightfully tell them that’s unacceptable. I’ve clearly stated he’s gotten so much better after i told him his standards were too low and my relationship has been torn to shreds. Can’t win either way it seems.

OP posts:
Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 10:13

SweetBirdsong · 18/09/2023 10:12

Dealbreaker. Ewwwww! Confused

So helpful.

OP posts:
Original poster
Leoliving · 18/09/2023 10:15

SparklingLime · 18/09/2023 10:09

There's an amazing number of men who find cleaning is "just not one of his strengths".

I'd be very careful about how he steps up over the longer term, OP.

He initially said cleaning isn’t one of his strengths but then followed it up with “but i need to learn so please can you show me?” He was very embarrassed and yes I was annoyed he didn’t know as it was instilled in me from a young age. But the willingness to learn won me over. Not once has he pushed back. Surely that should count for something

OP posts:
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