At what age are birthday parties drop-and-run?

[IsleOfPenguinBollards]

I’ve taken DD to two birthday parties this weekend. Both of the birthday children were turning six. At each party, there seemed to be an expectation that the parents would stay, and there were chairs laid out for them. So I stayed. Gosh, I’ve seen a lot of magic shows lately.

The things is, the parents of the birthday child usually have other relatives there to help with the party food. Plus, there’s often an entertainer. So we end up with a ratio of about three adults for every two children, which seems a bit unnecessary for 5-6 year olds. Even if there is the occasional toddler wandering around.

In my day, after the age of about three or four, the party guests were all just dropped off at the birthday child’s house, where they would play pass the parcel and eat jelly and ice-cream before being picked up two hours later.

Why are the parents of older children expected to stay at parties these days? And at what age does this normally end? I’d like my weekend afternoons back!

My child has just gone into Year 2 and I'm hoping this is the year for drop and run. I have a bad feeling people will still stay though.

I'd say six, though some parents might not want a load of five year olds if they have a September child, so when the majority are six?

Year 1 (turning 6) but I’d expect about half to stay as some people prefer to. Last year at DS’s 5th party in the first term of school, I was surprised when people dropped and ran tbh.

4-5

Parents might work out between themselves that one parent may watch another one or two children sooner than they would actually drop and run.

To add, I always ask my best friends to stay as we have no family help, plus we like to chat, so maybe it looks like parents are staying (they are I guess).

Y2 here with 2 parties so far and parents stayed to both, although some brought more than 1 child from the class with them. Definitely a post-covid thing, as my eldest who is now 11, we were definitely dropping off at the same age.

I always prepared for parents to stay, but hoped they wouldn’t! I find house parties are drop and run from 6 years onwards, if it’s at trampoline park etc they stop staying around 8/9.

Same here. We've had three parties since year 2 started, only one of them has been drop and run. We were the only parents who ran apparently (it definitely was a drop and run, I didn't just run away ).

We've just booked our child's party for this year, that will be their first drop and run.

With my first it was Y1, but my second is now Y1 and so far everyone has stayed. I can’t wait though. I’m tired of having the same conversations over and over at each party. 😂

Yr 3 maybe? It's a nice thing to do with them if they're at school all week. It's good to share something with them. I used to quite enjoy a natter with parents too.

I'm glad that stage is over though 😂

I'd say around 7 with my eldest. However at my youngest a 8th party last year all the adults wanted to stay when I wasn't expecting them to! I don't know if it's a covid thing, those kids haven't been to as many parties etc? But I was left with a group of mums looking to em for drinks and snacks and they were sorely disappointed as I didn't have any!

It depends. A house party with a few guests is completely different to one at a huge soft play where the host parents would struggle to keep an eye on everyone.

I have a question about drop and run parties as I haven't experienced them yet. If it's just the parents hosting, are they really looking after a whole class of kids? Or is it agreed that some parents will stay, and if so, which parents? What if it's a whole class thing and you don't really know the parents that well? And if it's soft play or trampoline or bowling or whatever, what if a kid gets lost or hurt or has a toilet accident? I'm just not sure of the logistics!

When DD was four, I dropped her off at a house party. The parents are super-nice, so would have told me that was fine.

When I picked her up later, I realised that all but one of the other parents had stayed, so I’d probably committed a faux pas. 😳

At DD’s fifth birthday party I didn’t expect most parents to stay and was quite thrown when they all did!

Year 2 / age 7 seems the age round here .

Year 1 here, though lots still stayed. DS’ birthday is near the beginning of the school year and we held a big party where we were very clear that drop and run was an option and it appeared to help pave the way for more! Personally I think 4-5 should be fine as long as your kid is sensible / confident enough. But that’s definitely not a thing here!

I think it really varies. My DDs (who are now teenagers) if it was at a private venue then as soon as they started school as far as I was concerned. Busy venue with multiple groups then parents more likely to stay until kids more able to fend for themselves. Girls move to 2 or 3 friends for a sleepover more quickly though.

DS is in Y6 and we just had a party and most of the parents stayed. There were some preciously only children which makes a difference (with 3DC we always had multiple events at the weekend so always needed to drop and run) and I know some people feel like they have to stay if other parents aren't dropping and running.

My own childhood birthday parties from when I was aged 7 to 11 , in the 1960's. were always of the 'drop and run' variety; parents dropped off their child but didn't stay themselves and picked up their children at a previously agreed time.

When my daughter was born in 1991 and she was invited to her cousins' birthday parties the expectation was that although a named child was invited it also included both parents and any siblings of the invited child - so the supposed birthday parties for a child were really huge family gatherings which the parents of the birthdy child were expected to cater for.

different expectations for different generations and in different parts of the country, I suppose; I was brought up in the north-east of England but was married to a laddie from Hampshire where attitudes to families were different to what I'd been brought up with.

I always ask the parents if they want me to stay. Dc1 was dropped off from reception. Dc2 is autistic so I always stayed with him. Tbh whole class parties were very rare in my dc's school and then only in the younger years so we went to about 3 in reception and 1 in year 1.

I'd say about 8 but it varies depending on needs of the child and the venue. If the party is in a public place such as bowling or Ninja Warrior, I feel less comfortable about leaving them than in someone's house or a hall. However in my experience once they get to about 8, the parties fizzle out and they get invited to smaller gatherings with their closer friends.

My son is in Year 1. Last year, we had a few parents who would drop and go but they tended to text and check in advance. There was one child whose parents never stayed and the rest of us found it pretty strange (especially as she's young for the year and needed to be taken to the loo etc).

I'm reluctant to drop and go yet, but that's largely because DS gets very overexcited at parties and I stay to keep his behaviour in check.

I count ourselves incredibly lucky that the first bday party DD was ever invited to in Reception specified drop off due to space reasons. She was absolutely fine (at 4!) From then on we’ve dropped her at almost every single party, as have many others. The idea of having to stay at all these things until they’re 7…. argh

Parents stay in reception, drop and go in year 1 in my experience unless asked to stay and help (party at a venue that needs extra hands).

6 or 7.
a house party is different to a party in a public place imo though