To wish people wouldn't post things on SM headed "Lost my little girl today..."

[CurlewKate]

...and mean their dog or cat? My SIL did it yesterday- and for an awful moment I thought she meant one of my nieces. Obviously I quickly realised I wouldn't have heard like that- but it was a a real shock for a second. People do it on here too...
Just me? Is everyone quicker on the uptake than me?

Ok I stand corrected. I do think in general people will be talking about pets rather than their babies. Of course not on a bereavement board. That’s different. I thought the OP was talking about a general post.

Why the fuck can't you police how people speak? Loads of posters on this thread have said this like it's obviously true. But people police posters' language on MN all the fucking time.

You just can't tell people not to swear.

I think if you've posted in the Litter Tray or the DogHouse or Small Furries then it's fair enough. That's a pet-specific sub-forum and very obviously so.

Not OK in general non-pet boards IMO.

I've seen it, normally in contexts where a poster has been discussing their very ill child/husband/parent with a niche group of supportive MNers over a period of months or years.

But it doesn’t do anything does it?

No one goes “oh no @HangingByYourFingernails told me off for calling my dog my girl - I’ll never do it again :( :( :(“

So no you can’t police it (definition “to control, to regulate”) as you’re not actually controlling how someone speaks even if you try to.

Bit silly your comment really darling x x did you think your swearing made you look well hard or something?

Yep totally agree. There is no comparison between a pet and a child you’ve carried for nine months, given birth to.

Agree. Pretty horrendous for those of us that have actually suffered the loss of a child.

And by loss I obviously mean death. I hate the word loss in this context, it sounds like I was careless.

Agree. I always see this on MN and feel shocked and then see it's in the litter tray section

I agree it can be very upsetting for people who have lost a child.
But I also get annoyed when they call themselves their pets mum, they aren't.

It’s actually quite disturbing.

I can't believe this is true. Your poor brother.
I have lost pets u love and I have lost people I love. There is no comparison.
Pets are animals. It's sad when they die but it is nothing like losing a child , a sibling or a parent.

I assumed this was about the ghastly online thing of saying you’ve “lost your little boy” when what you actually mean is “my little boy grew up to become a stinky teenager and I apparently need to grieve this perfectly normal progression of life on Facebook as though the alternative is not a million times worse”. Those people need to get a grip and stop attention seeking.

I can see how if you’ve posted in the Litter Tray or whatever you might think everyone would immediately realise it’s about a cat though.

My mother openly admits losing her pets was harder than losing my sibling for her personally. That’s how she feels and that is not wrong.
Jesus Christ

Yeah, it's actually a hundred shades of wrong. Sorry.

But it has sub-topics for a reason - if you are in the dog or cat topic, it would be assumed by readers of the topic that you were referring to your pet unless specified otherwise.

If coming across a post about a dead pet referring to 'girl' or 'boy' is going to be upsetting, then there is the option of hiding any pet-related topics.

I have a dog who I refer to as my soul mate. We are both unwanted rescues and I love him so much.

But my son has a neurodegenerative condition. He is 13 and when he dies, he will be 'my boy' because he won't reach 18.

The pain is indescribable. I feel as though when he dies, I will too because he is mine and I fear my body will just want to follow him.

I don't see how anyone can feel that about their dog.

Pets are family, there's absolutely nothing wrong with calling a pet the owners little girl or boy

It’s obvious on here as the titles in Active appear below Litter Tray or whatever. I don’t find the posts attention seeking other than in the fact the poster wants to talk to someone.

I am more bothered by people insisting on the proper way to react to a pet dying. It is not ridiculous or wrong to be upset about the death of a much-loved cat or dog and debating how much significance ‘should’ be attached to it is pointless at best.

Sorry you think people shouldn't be upset about the death of a much loved pet? I think that's a bit odd tbh

I agree

A pet is an animal. Not a child. There is a world of difference .

It's quite odd to draw an equivalence between a pet and a child. It's unhinged.

@Desecratedcoconut how is referring to a pet as the owners little girl / boy automatically equating them? I think it's more odd and says more about the person who is judging it as "unhinged" then it does about the person who loves the animal tbh