To wish people wouldn't post things on SM headed "Lost my little girl today..."

[CurlewKate]

...and mean their dog or cat? My SIL did it yesterday- and for an awful moment I thought she meant one of my nieces. Obviously I quickly realised I wouldn't have heard like that- but it was a a real shock for a second. People do it on here too...
Just me? Is everyone quicker on the uptake than me?

I disagree. Pets are family.

I was way closer to my labrador boy than I have ever been to many of my wider human family (many of whom I wouldn't recognise if I walked past them in the street). He was my big furry boy, and I really don't care what others think about that.

People do.get very attached to their pets ,when my dig dies im.sure I will.be very upset
Obviously I love my sons far more but pets are still part of the family.

I agree. Not that it isn't awful to lose a much-loved pet, but honestly how hard is it to say 'lost my lovely cat today' rather than girl?!

So rather than offer your condolences to.your Sil who.is probably quite upset you thought you would start a bitchy thread in mums net 🤔

Fair enough, but @CurlewKate looks to be suggesting that the SIL does have children too, because she initially feared it was a niece something had happened to. If people have to post on SM then at least make it clear which 'her' they are referring to from the outset.

Who would announce the death of a child that way? Surely noone.

Several people a month do this very thing here on MN. When I scroll through Active threads, I often see something like 'My darling girl died today', I feel so sorry, I think about the pain of losing a child, and then I notice it's in the Doghouse section. I know pets mean a lot to many people, but this is website primarily for parents, mostly mothers, and most of us would automatically think of our children, not our dogs, on seeing something like that.

As for the idea that losing a pet caused more grief than losing one of your own children, I have no words. I can only imagine there is a huge backstory there.

I'm with you, op. I scan thread titles on here like, my boy died tonight, or my girl got run over by a truck, with the kind of gut punch terror when you imagine somebody being subject to the very worst thing and then read on to be both relieved and cross it was the family pet, upsetting but y'know, not a kid.

Odd definition of bitchy. And since yesterday I have been on the phone to both my sil and one of my nieces talking to them about their loss. And searching for some photos I had of her as a puppy I knew they'd like to have. But hey-carry on.

Try not to police people's language.

My dog is my ‘darling boy’ and I refer to him as that often. He’s not my son.

I call my dog “my gorgeous girl”, because I love her. I can’t imagine changing that terminology when she dies. People adore their pets. The only thing I wouldn’t put was “lost” when the event happens, that signifies she’s gone missing !

Have people always referred to dogs and cats as boys and girls? It seems like a recent trend to me, and a very odd one, given that they are not human, by definition, but then I am old, and don't have dogs or cats or any other pets. We had a dog when I was a child. We were fond of her, but she was nothing like as important to any of us as the human members of the household.

Posted in “the litter tray” it’s a clue!

100%

I can't comment on SM generally, but on Mumsnet, if it's posted in The Doghouse or Litter Tray, isn't it obviously going to be about a pet?

You can not like it but you can’t police how people speak. I’m sure you say things in ways others don’t like. Just life innit.

The trending conversations don’t have topics though - at least not when viewed on a mobile. Which is a shame as I’ve seen a few threads where not being able to has caused a bit of confusion.

Completely agree, op. It's particularly thoughtless on a forum where people do discuss the loss of babies and children.

I've never seen it posted on a random status on Facebook. If they do, it's always with a photo anyway.

It happens a lot on a group I'm in but the group is about that specific pet so its obvious.

As for on here well often its in the doghouse/litter tray anyway but it doesn't give me any reaction - it's not likely to be someone I know.

You can wish people wouldn't use language in particular ways- obviously they don't have to do it! I just hate the little lurch I get as I scroll down various SM outlets....and I'm glad to see I'm not alone.

Yes, it's melodramatic and unnecessary.

I couldn’t love dogs more but I’ve never thought of any of mine ( past or present ) as “my little girl” or “ my little boy”. My darling dog, my best canine friend is as far as I’d go.

You would think so, but on this site many, many posters seem incapable of noticing any or all of the following:

1. The date of the OP, which could be decades earlier.
2. The number of posts on the thread - people keep on replying to the OP, saying exactly the same as the other 999 posters have already said.
3. Noticing that a thread is not in AIBU. Lots of people say YABU to people who've posted in Chat or Legal or S&B or anywhere else.
4. The OP may have posted more than once, and the info in subsequent posts may change what you think! You can't filter for OP's posts on the app, but it's really not that difficult to scroll through looking for what the OP has said, and in a long thread that's been running for a while, surely that's an obvious thing to do - but of course, see point 2.
5. Clear statements in the OP. 'I have a DD, aged 5, and a DS, aged 18 months. I am a single mum with no family living anywhere near and no support from their father. I work full-time.' How old is DD? How many DC do you have? Do you have a job? Can't DH do it? Why don't you ask your Mum to have them one day a week? Etc etc.

Trending on the mobile site only shows thread titles, it does not show a board.

I've noticed a new trend of some people referring to their pet as "my son" or "my daughter". You didn't birth a puppy or a kitten so just stop it. "Furbaby" rips my knitting too.