To wish people wouldn't post things on SM headed "Lost my little girl today..."

[CurlewKate]

...and mean their dog or cat? My SIL did it yesterday- and for an awful moment I thought she meant one of my nieces. Obviously I quickly realised I wouldn't have heard like that- but it was a a real shock for a second. People do it on here too...
Just me? Is everyone quicker on the uptake than me?

You can’t expect people to police their language in order to never make anyone uncomfortable. I’d never intentionally try and upset anyone but second guessing myself all the time to avoid ever making anyone ‘lurch’, no. I’d not expect that of anyone else either.

If you don’t like how somebody expresses themselves or you find them offensive, mute/unfollow/whatever.

If it's in active, the branch that it can be found on is in a smaller, lighter font than the OP title. You see the title well before you see what branch it's on.

It might only take a couple of seconds, but it's long enough for the involuntarily, instinctive heart lurch to happen.

I don't think they have, no. It's all part of the recent trend to anthropomorphise pets. Doggy ice cream, my darling girl, dogs allowed anywhere and everywhere.

I don't know why it's happened but it definitely has.

It's not Policing language. It's something that doesn't apply to language at all. The people saying 'my child, my son, my boy etc etc' in regards to an animal aren't using language to fit their lives, they're just making shit up. There are current terms that are actual language like dog, cat, rabbit.

Language is a complex shared way of communication which is structured, and encompasses speech, writing and gestures. Where most if not everyone know what you're referring to by the terms they are commonly known by.

You can't just make shit up and say it's language when it isn't 🙄

Yes, sadly mumsnet is a place where OPs about the loss of a child do happen. So these posts really jar here.

Yes, it's ridiculous.
People going through loss of a job, pet or home are of course going to be distressed, but to compare if to the loss of a child is absurdly selfish.

Only if you're reading a version of mumsnet where active and trending lists include the source branch.

In fact I don't think any of the versions include the branch in trending.

But you must get this same 'lurch' when it turns out the thread is genuinely about a child - is it the waste of a lurch that is the problem, because you don't think a pet is worthy of it? On a site like this, it's inevitable some threads will be upsetting.

How about you read it, very quickly realize they’re talking about a pet, roll your eyes if that’s what your cold heart tells you to do, and then move on to find something else to judge?

I think trying to create a lurch free world 🙄would be an impossible task. Better to just accept the odd lurch. 🤷🏼‍♀️

People have always said good boy or girl to dogs but they never used to refer to a dog as my boy/girl until recently.

@EstieGreenwood I'm not judging. I'm talking about my reaction. Obviously I am hugely sympathetic to anyone whose pet dies-I've been there myself several times.

People post threads immediately about their loved ones dying all the time. I've seen plenty on here over the years.

Erm...
"Good boy!"
"Who's a good girl!?"

Literally the most classic dog phrases ever bar adding in rover or fido

Yes, me too. And thankfully the replies garner more sympathy than calling them a weirdo.

This is a really horrible post and I’ve reported it. People do post like this sometimes. I’ve not been in that situation so don’t know the thought process but presumably it’s about looking for support rather than being a weirdo. What on earth is wrong with you?

Are you honestly saying that someone would lose their baby and that day they go on mumsnet and tell strangers about it. I have never seen it. Ever.

Language is 'made up', over 100s and 1000s of years but it is made up by humans and changes all the time.

Lots of people refer to their pets as boy and girl, its not new and not uncommon.

You are trying to tell people what language to use about their own lives and circumstances.

People might call their pet 'good girl', but there's no excuse declaring 'my girl died' when all that has happened is your dog is dead.

If you are on a pet-specific topic, this is perfectly reasonable. It's not the poster's fault if others don't check the topic.

In the past people on here weren't strangers to each other (not me, not much of a joiner). People liked and supported each other and talked without everything being a chance to put each other down and get one over on someone, or be snarky bitches.

Yes that's what I said @KittyKingdom you may not have seen it but I have

There are posts like this on the bereavement board right now.

It's a parenting forum.
Just say your dog or cat died.
It's not a baby or a child.