Do I message my mother asking about my nans stamps , been NC 25 years

[fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft]

I posted a few days ago about my nans stamp collection.

It was a large rare and valuable collection and the day after she died my mother and her brother went into the house and took the lot . My Nan had 3 other children , when one of them turned up and tried to stop them she was hit in the face by my mother who said she was getting them valued and selling them.

Following this my mothers brother contacted the other siblings saying take no notice and that he had them for "safe keeping "

Well he died a couple of months ago , his dd told me she would return the stamps using me as a go between

Long story short - they weren't there . It looks like they did exactly as my mother said and sold them but only split the processes between themselves.

My mother is a hateful human being . A truly evil piece of work . I cannot begin to explain how awful a human she is here . But she really the cruelest, meanest , most vindictive and bitter person I've ever met. She's poison.

I've tried desperately to let it go . My Nan raised me and it hurt that her beloved collection was sold in this way and didn't go to the people she wanted it to go to. It really should have stayed in the family, it was her life's work and her fathers before her .

I've found my mother on fb. I'm so tempted to send a message asking how much she got for the stamps . She tried about 10 years ago to engage me on fb but I said I wished her no harm but didn't want a relationship with her. She has zero concept of her actions toward me as a child but dismissed it all as water under the bridge. I had ptsd from things she did to me as a child and had to have rewind therapy to even talk about it .

Should I do it? Should I ask where the stamps went ? Deep down I know but she is never ever held to account . She is in her mid 70s now and hopefully something will befall her soon if there is a god .

It's playing on my mind . I want her to know I know what she did. I want her to tell me . I've no intention of further contact.

What would you do if you were me .

For your own sanity, I would definitely either de reg or name change and try not to disclose too many details, you are very recognisable x

Sadly the stamps are gone. Nothing good can come of contacting your mother. I think for your own wellbeing it is someth8ng that you will need to let go of.
It's impossible to know what your cousin knows about her father's involvement. Again for your own sanity, let this flow under the bridge. You aren't l8kely to get a proper answer and whatever that answer is, it won't change anything.
I am no contact or low contact with most of my family, and some battles are not worth the stress and anguish they will cause you.
Let g9 of what doesn't serve you, remember your nan as the amazing person she was, look after yourself.

I've decided you are all right and no good would come of it

The poster who Was being particularly unpleasant turns out to have been a banned poster , so is rebanned .

I may be easy to identify but iv never posted anything I haven't told most people who know me , I know I post at odd times , that's just the hours I keep

That poster made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Calling me a name as If they knew me and trying to reference previous posts under previous usernames . I don't know why . Or what their vendetta is , or why they would stalk me , accuse me of lying . I'm going to leave now but thank you for helping me see that messaging my mother is futile .

This is so hard to hear op. I know for me and probably many, there is the fear we will be recognised and confronted by the people we least want anything to do with. You’ve done what’s felt right and you know that you did right in getting the answers you probably knew deep down were right, but like many of us who have been victim to abusive and narcissistic parents, you needed that extra bit of assurance.

Sadly and unfortunately there are far far more of us who have been the victims in these situations and many are exactly the same so I doubt you would be that easily identifiable.

ignore the nasty comments and focus on the good xx