Primary policy. Girls must wear skirts?

[Skirtsonly]

Can you help me word a letter around this issue?

My daughter (8) attends a school where the policy is shorts/shirts/jumpers for boys (only Yr 6 boys are allowed to wear trousers) and skirts/pinafore/shirts/cardigans for girls.

Last winter she wore one of her brothers handed down jumpers as she felt it was warmer than a cardigan, absolutely nothing was said.

This summer she took part in a show where she needed school shorts, and subsequently asked if she could wear them to school. She tends to spend half if her life upside down/cartwheeling etc. I didn't think there'd be an issue, and I'm pretty loathe to not use perfectly good clothing items.

But there is an issue. She's been told by several members of staff that she's not allowed to wear them. Nobody has approached me directly, but her dress is dirty (her skirt is at her dads house) She's put them on and was worried, so I've asked this morning at the school gate and have been told that she is not allowed to wear them. They agree they are the correct colour and the style would be fine if she were a boy. I've asked for a reason other than being a girl as to why she can't wear them and both the teacher and head teacher could not provide one other than she's a girl and therefore needs to wear a skirt. I can buy shorts to go under the skirt if I like.

I've politely said she will alternate between these her 1 dress and 1 skirt, I've pointed out there's a col crisis (they're aware I'm a single parent) and I'm not willing to spend more money on uniform when these are perfectly usable.

I need to submit a letter/email as to the reasons she's breaking policy? I'm not sure if I should just put what I have here or head down the route of the equality act? Would the act mean its unlawful to discriminate against a student based on their sex?

Or do I just ditch the shorts (despite the fact she is so much happier in them) and find the money to buy another dress/skirt?

There aren't all that many hills I would be prepared to die on, but this is one of them.

The uniform list should be something like: jumper, cardigan, long-or short-sleeved shirt, blouse, polo shirt, pinafore, skirt, shorts or trousers, and that pupils can wear whatever they choose to wear from that list, in the school colours.

I wonder if any of the female staff at the school ever wear trousers...

I have an update for anyone interested. (Yet I know I’ll get
the usual witty comments re “things that didn’t happen” etc etc... )

Asked if there was an update, they said they'd prefer her not to wear them as it might "spread" I said that would be a positive thing my opinion.

Asked me why I think she should wear them when they're not
part of uniform...

I said something along the lines of;

They are part of uniform, she just requires different genitalia to wear them and I don't think that's a debate for right now.

I advised I'd spent the day looking up legislation and the equalities act, and that I’d got several points if they wanted me to express them. Was asked to go ahead.

I said that given that the government themselves advise that employers dictating that female employees wear skirts is likely to be unlawful I would strongly question why this would not apply to schools and female children being dictated the same?

That statistically girls from the age of 8 do 17% less physical activity than boys in part due to their prescriptive restrictive
clothing.

And finally that girls uniform is on average already 12% more expensive than boys uniform (the pink tax) so adding additional layers for modesty (shorts under skirts) would only exacerbate this issue.

Added to the initial reasons given this morning regarding a cost of living crisis, the fact she’s more comfortable in them, and the ethics of discarding a perfectly wearable item of clothing I felt this should be enough.

They declined my offer to put in a formal request for a review of the uniform policy? At this point we were both smiling, I honestly think the deputy head is fully on my side but cant express that.

So they've said that she can wear them until she has outgrown them. I did point out she doesn't grow very often so it may take a while.

And I dropped in at the end that we've been handed down a pinafore type playsuit that sshe'll likely wear in colder weather.

DD (new affectionate nickname from delightful PP of Frogmella) is walking around like she's beat "the man" . I think it’s a valuable lesson for her to advocate for yourself. Yes we’re not changing the full policy, but let’s hope it does indeed “spread”

Sorry for formatting issues, my phone doesn't seem to like to line up the fields.

Maybe ask the school to add skorts because they look like skirts.

Glad you said your piece to them and that she can wear them for now at least. I'd try and take it further to change the policy though, its sexist and wrong.

Good for you! This is nonsense and would not stand under a bit of concerted pressure. Indefensible.

Good for you OP!

Why - surely if it’s cold you send him to school in long trousers? Why would you risk him being cold all day?
Every time I read these types of threads - thank goodness DT’s went to a non uniform school.

Try and take it further.

The uniform policy is rubbish, sending best wishes and support - hope you can bring about positive change. Was the same at my school and we used to cycle and get repulsive comments from men. After being frightened by harassment on the route to school, I wore trousers and got in trouble for it. Was in the top sets and well-behaved, so it was an interesting visit to the headmaster's office, The focus should be on girls learning and inclusion in sport, not what they wear.

My DC's school is like that. The uniform policy contained the words "boys/ girls" "summer/ winter" and after a policy review, those words were dropped. The children still wear the same range of clothes of standard uniform pieces, but there is more flexibility about who wears them and when.

My DS wore cardigans, because the neck hole of the logo jumper was in danger of pulling off his ears. OK, exageration, but it was impractically tight for a young child to force on and off over a big head. Shorts worked better for his autistic sensory issues than trousers. My DSs' old uniform gets passed on to a younger girl who prefers "boy's" clothes to her sister's hand-me-downs.

I remember my from first seminar on my PGCE "children learn when they feel comfortable and safe". Why do so many 21st century schools waste so much time, effort and parents' money on seeming to make life as awkward and uncomfortable as possible with optional policies?

There are lots of reasons someone needs to move urgently, domestic violence, a flood, new job, family emergency eg a parent having a stroke.

And the obvious easy way to deal with this is to let the child wear their old school uniform until they get the new one.

Uniform can be used to limit who attends a particular school. Making a wool blazer compulsory from a specific shop that costs £200 will stop the kids from low income families attending.

My school had a 'knee length skirt' rule. It was a girls' school so no boys uniform.

The own I wa sin had and still has quite a large muslim population, mainly of pakistani origin. My school was 100% white.

Can I prove the uniform was designed to keep those girls out? Of course not, but that is the effect it had.

So they think having warm ankles with socks and trousers a little too short is better than legs being cold in shorts?

Do the staff have to wear shorts? Are they made to wear clothes inappropriate to the weather?

Are they dictated to to wear clothes that the HT decides are sex related and appropriate only or can they decide?

I'd just email and say that your DD doesn't understand why different sexes have different uniforms and you're struggling to explain it and so could they explain so you can chat to your DD.

Id love to see the, try and explain why girls need a cardigan and boys a jumper!

I would absolutely contest this on the grounds of sex discrimination. Why is it ok for boys to wear a warmer jumper than girls? Why is it ok for girls to have clothing enforced in them that permits a narrower range of movement than boys? This is absolutely the first step in implicit socialisation that keeps girls quiet and still indoors while boys are active outside.

(And don’t let them fob you off with a free skirt)

Good for you OP! My daughter wears school shorts and jumper - practical and comfortable. I am very much in favour of unisex school uniform.

This is not true though. Ours does.

How do you know owvit was nit someone recently bereaved moving close to parents and finding themselves in difficult financial circumstances? Someone who lost their job and no longer had the same income? Someone fleeing domestic violence? People find themselves in changed circumstances for all kinds of reasons. Don't be so judgemental!

Tell them she is identifying as gender fluid. See how they tie themselves in knots. The policy is both sexist and ridiculous.

@Skirtsonly Please put in a formal request to change the uniform policy. You’ve made excellent points so now put them in writing and submit them to the school. I hope that your DD enjoys the freedom and comfort of her school shorts. They are so much more practical for school.

Thought primary uniform was unenforceable.

I'd be pretty assertive about this and ask them if they intend to exclude her.

This shit is so outdated. The head must be very foolish.

This is bonkers!! I wouldn't be adhering to this stupid policy

I'd send her in in the shorts if that's what she feels better in, with a letter as to why (basically I'd just explain the stuff you said in the face to face meeting) and then I'd leave it at that. If they spoke to me and said she needed to be in a skirt, I'd just say "no thanks, she's fine in the shorts"

I didn't think this nonsense existed in UK state schools. Girls and boys should be in trousers and shorts.

The school policy of boys' and girls' requirements is unreasonable and you had my full support questioning it. It's fairly common for trousers to be allowed for both boys and girls.

But then you say

pinafore type playsuit that sshe'll likely wear in colder weather.

And it actually sounds like what you're more interested in is sending your child to school in whatever isn't part of the uniform because I'm guessing that playsuits aren't in the uniform.