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Original poster

Primary policy. Girls must wear skirts?

101 replies

Skirtsonly · 14/09/2023 09:08

Can you help me word a letter around this issue?

My daughter (8) attends a school where the policy is shorts/shirts/jumpers for boys (only Yr 6 boys are allowed to wear trousers) and skirts/pinafore/shirts/cardigans for girls.

Last winter she wore one of her brothers handed down jumpers as she felt it was warmer than a cardigan, absolutely nothing was said.

This summer she took part in a show where she needed school shorts, and subsequently asked if she could wear them to school. She tends to spend half if her life upside down/cartwheeling etc. I didn't think there'd be an issue, and I'm pretty loathe to not use perfectly good clothing items.

But there is an issue. She's been told by several members of staff that she's not allowed to wear them. Nobody has approached me directly, but her dress is dirty (her skirt is at her dads house) She's put them on and was worried, so I've asked this morning at the school gate and have been told that she is not allowed to wear them. They agree they are the correct colour and the style would be fine if she were a boy. I've asked for a reason other than being a girl as to why she can't wear them and both the teacher and head teacher could not provide one other than she's a girl and therefore needs to wear a skirt. I can buy shorts to go under the skirt if I like.

I've politely said she will alternate between these her 1 dress and 1 skirt, I've pointed out there's a col crisis (they're aware I'm a single parent) and I'm not willing to spend more money on uniform when these are perfectly usable.

I need to submit a letter/email as to the reasons she's breaking policy? I'm not sure if I should just put what I have here or head down the route of the equality act? Would the act mean its unlawful to discriminate against a student based on their sex?

Or do I just ditch the shorts (despite the fact she is so much happier in them) and find the money to buy another dress/skirt?

OP posts:
GiraffeLaSophie · 14/09/2023 09:54

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 14/09/2023 09:50

You are wrong. State primary schools in England are not allowed to enforce uniform rules.

Show quote history

That is interesting, where is the source for that? I’ve just googled it and the only other reference I can find for it is another MN thread! I did find this though, which seems to suggest that they are.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/school-uniform/school-uniforms#:~:text=It%20is%20for%20the%20governing,so%2C%20what%20that%20should%20be

School uniforms

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/school-uniform/school-uniforms#:~:text=It%20is%20for%20the%20governing,so%2C%20what%20that%20should%20be

lifeturnsonadime · 14/09/2023 09:55

Gosh that seems ridiculous.

Most state schools allow girls to wear trousers or shorts. My daughter refused to wear a skirt from year 2 onwards.

Seems sexist to allow a boy to wear trousers but not girls.

Original poster
Skirtsonly · 14/09/2023 09:55

Unfortunately the Times article relates to a school in South Carolina.

To answer a few questions, yes I could ask them for a pre loved skirt for a small donation, then go out and buy the shorts to go underneath, but ultimately although she's a little worried she wants to wear the shorts she feels happier in them, and she wants me to tell them that she's going to wear them. I want to stand up for her rights to wear what she feels is comfortable on her body.

It's a 2 class intake per year inner city school, definitely not rural. When its been raised before the reason they gave for boys wearing shorts is that they have more growing space in them. Given the disadvantaged area, trousers more quickly show growth ( that gap between shoes and ankles) whereas shorts I guess just get shorter?

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Clothing General education General style & beauty Primary education
Whitewolf2 · 14/09/2023 10:00

How ridiculous, surely being so specific in the dress code makes it more costly.
Given most primary schools allow girls (and boys!) to wear trousers this is your schools (presumably the Head’s) choice to make life more uncomfortable for their students. I’d start a petition for change.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 14/09/2023 10:00

GiraffeLaSophie · 14/09/2023 09:54

That is interesting, where is the source for that? I’ve just googled it and the only other reference I can find for it is another MN thread! I did find this though, which seems to suggest that they are.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/school-uniform/school-uniforms#:~:text=It%20is%20for%20the%20governing,so%2C%20what%20that%20should%20be

Show quote history

My error I missed the change last year when the new regulations came out. Still doesn't change the fact that girls can't be forced to wear skirts

Original poster
Skirtsonly · 14/09/2023 10:02

I've just found this quote in one of the articles linked from uniform reform. I thinks its very valid point that I may use?

"Schools also have a public duty to promote the 2010 Equality Act, and really need to consider how they can legally defend forbidding girls from wearing trousers when it clearly contravenes conventional dress standards. For example, the UK Government Equalities Office notes that requiring women to wear skirts at work is 'likely to be unlawful' - why are girls and young women subject to such rigid rules dictating female dress?"

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 14/09/2023 10:05

Maybe she should identify as a boy or non binary! Allowing shorts for 1 sex and not the other is unfair

itispersonal · 14/09/2023 10:07

If it's a state school I wouldn't worry and I'd send her in the shorts and my boy child in trousers! They can't punish the children for uniform or enforce such strict uniform requirements at primary level!

Id also point out the sex discrimination of not allowing girls to wear trousers and point out we aren't in the 70s anymore! Also wants happens to boy legs when they are in year 6 where they are now allowed to wear trousers and not shorts!!!

Softtowel · 14/09/2023 10:12

As a parent this is a hill I’d be willing to die on so to speak! What message is this sending girls?! It’s 2023 fgs. So girls must wear clothing that exposes their underwear and boys are able to cover their modesty?! Are the girls allowed to wear shorts during PE?

I’d be writing to the headteacher, board of governors and any other relevant people. Surely this is discrimination?
As previous posters have said - see if you can get your daughter on board with this, she could create a petition for the children to sign - girls to have the option of skirt / shorts etc and boys to be able to wear trousers or shorts. That way you have the voice of the children to add to your argument.

MariaVT65 · 14/09/2023 10:14

This sounds absolutely ridiculous. Surely anyone should be able to wear trousers in any setting? Even I was wearing trousers at primary school in the 90s. Much preferred them to skirts.

tokennamechange · 14/09/2023 10:15

Only skirts for girls and boys in shorts until year 6? Where does she go to school, 1953?

Beachwaves127 · 14/09/2023 10:16

I’m shocked at the policy!!!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 14/09/2023 10:19

GiraffeLaSophie · 14/09/2023 09:21

This summer she took part in a show where she needed school shorts, and subsequently asked if she could wear them to school. She tends to spend half if her life upside down/cartwheeling etc. I didn't think there'd be an issue, and I'm pretty loathe to not use perfectly good clothing items.

If the school policy is that girls must wear a skirt, a pinafore or a dress then why did you assume there wouldn’t be an issue? She’s breaking the uniform policy. It’s not a policy I agree with either, but that doesn’t mean you can ignore it without good reason. They’ve also said she can wear shorts under the skirt, so the cartwheeling isn’t an issue.

Why should an issue even exist?

Its blatant sexism which needs stopping.

GiraffeLaSophie · 14/09/2023 10:21

If you choose to send them a letter I would definitely include that quote, yes, as it helps with showing their policy to be dated. I would also point out the current emphasis on keeping girls interested in sport and physical activity. Try and find some statistics about the number of girls who drop out of their sport, then point out that for girls to be active in the same way as boys at break or lunch time (cartwheels if they’re allowed, climbing frames etc) then parents are required to buy shorts to prevent their underwear being on show which is an additional cost to parents and could make the girls hot and sweaty in the summer which isn’t good for their health or hygiene.

Hopefully they will change their mind, as I agree with you that it’s a silly policy. I’m not sure there’s much you can do if they don’t agree though, which is what I was trying to say in my other post. I realise I sounded quite unhelpful though, so I apologise!

FirstYouGetTheMoney · 14/09/2023 10:21

Skirtsonly · 14/09/2023 09:55

Unfortunately the Times article relates to a school in South Carolina.

To answer a few questions, yes I could ask them for a pre loved skirt for a small donation, then go out and buy the shorts to go underneath, but ultimately although she's a little worried she wants to wear the shorts she feels happier in them, and she wants me to tell them that she's going to wear them. I want to stand up for her rights to wear what she feels is comfortable on her body.

It's a 2 class intake per year inner city school, definitely not rural. When its been raised before the reason they gave for boys wearing shorts is that they have more growing space in them. Given the disadvantaged area, trousers more quickly show growth ( that gap between shoes and ankles) whereas shorts I guess just get shorter?

Edited

She doesn’t have that right, I think you’ve just invented it.

Original poster
Skirtsonly · 14/09/2023 10:27

Oh Hi Headteacher!!! 👋

OP posts:
TheBarbieEffect · 14/09/2023 10:33

YABU. Your kid is breaking the uniform policy that you agreed to when you started the school.

If you had an issue you shouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place.

Whataretheodds · 14/09/2023 10:36

GiraffeLaSophie · 14/09/2023 09:21

This summer she took part in a show where she needed school shorts, and subsequently asked if she could wear them to school. She tends to spend half if her life upside down/cartwheeling etc. I didn't think there'd be an issue, and I'm pretty loathe to not use perfectly good clothing items.

If the school policy is that girls must wear a skirt, a pinafore or a dress then why did you assume there wouldn’t be an issue? She’s breaking the uniform policy. It’s not a policy I agree with either, but that doesn’t mean you can ignore it without good reason. They’ve also said she can wear shorts under the skirt, so the cartwheeling isn’t an issue.

OP has good reasons- she has perfectly serviceable uniform shorts and it's wasteful not to use them.

Whataretheodds · 14/09/2023 10:37

OP, just tell them that she's experimenting with her gender identity.

Needmorelego · 14/09/2023 10:37

@TheBarbieEffect FFS it's a PRIMARY school.
Children shouldn't be denied an education at the local primary because of some silly clothing rules.

Whataretheodds · 14/09/2023 10:37

TheBarbieEffect · 14/09/2023 10:33

YABU. Your kid is breaking the uniform policy that you agreed to when you started the school.

If you had an issue you shouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place.

A policy which is probably in breach of the Equality Act

MoxieFox · 14/09/2023 10:38

I’d fight it. It’s outdated and sexist. Boys should be allowed to wear skirts and girls should be allowed to wear shorts/trousers. Their uniform policy needs to go gender neutral in that any child can wear any uniform item of their choice.

CissOff · 14/09/2023 10:38

Just tell them she identifies as a boy 💀

35965a · 14/09/2023 10:39

This is one thing I would be kicking up a fuss about. It’s so backward

MoxieFox · 14/09/2023 10:40

TheBarbieEffect · 14/09/2023 10:33

YABU. Your kid is breaking the uniform policy that you agreed to when you started the school.

If you had an issue you shouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place.

I don’t recall the option to disagree with a state school uniform policy when I enrolled my DC. I also don’t recall being able to choose which state school my DC went to. It’s always decided by catchment area, you list your top 3 choices in order of preference and then you get told where your child is going to school.