Failed driving test 6 times

[crybaby22]

Hello,

just hoping for a bit of advice.

I failed my 6th driving test this morning. All tests have been different things, but what it all comes down to is nerves. Today even the examiner said he could see how nervous I was and told me to speak to the doctor. Problem is, I’m already on propranolol for it. Have been using Kalms too.

My instructor is lovely but can tell he is getting frustrated as he keeps saying about how I’m a good driver, it’s as soon as the test happens I fall to pieces. Was the same with exams at school and university.

it’s part of a wider problem, I generally have no self esteem, no faith in myself, and I’m starting to realise how bad it actually is. My family all laugh at me for the other 5 failed tests so dreading them finding out, and my boyfriend actually paid for this test and the time for the instructors car today, so he’s moaning about the cost.

I can’t keep having lessons as too expensive at £70 for a double lesson each week. An Arnold park dual hire place is about 30 mins drive away but a bit of a pain trying to get someone to watch the kids while we go as don’t live near family. The only pal near me also doesn’t drive so can’t practice in her car. Boyfriend has a van for work so not practicing in his. Feeling very lost with it.

how do I go about rebuilding this? I’ve looked up hypnotherapy online but that’s going to be the same price as the lessons. Debating just putting a block booking of lessons on the credit card but don’t want to rack up debt (don’t have any savings). Going to call my GP tomorrow and see if they have anything stronger they can give me.

I went to counselling a few years ago to help with some other bits, but can’t afford to go back and don’t see the GP referring me for failing my driving test!

just really fed up, makes me feel so worthless. If anyone has anything that can help then please send on to me. Totally lost.

thanks

I passed after a load of attempts..what helped me was reading the highway code cover to cover, realising most drivers stick to road rules and trusting that and picking an appropriate time for the test such as mornings after 930am or when it's quiet. Try another test centre..maybe this one has really strict examiners

Have you looked up pass rates at your test centre? My boyfriend, now DH, failed 4 times, then realised he was at something like the second hardest centre in the country where only a third of people passed. So he booked a test in suburbia where the pass rate was much better, borrowed my car and passed with something like 1 minor.

No.advice but my sister passed on her ninth attempt ,kerp.going though I gave up.and regret it now or maybe try an automatic?

You can self refer for CBT on the NHS, which would probably be more useful than counselling. You don't have to go via GP.

I generally have no self esteem, no faith in myself

This is a valid reason to seek support when it's having a detrimental impact on your life. I'd be surprised if the only place it manifests is in driving tests.

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-nhs-talking-therapies-service

I think the first thing I'd be doing would be telling your family if they can't be positive or supportive then they can be quiet.

You could try hypnotherapy (it can temporarily build confidence apparently).

A friend of mine did this for confidence at job interviews. He absolutely nailed it after falling to pieces at every interview prior!

I didn’t really believe in it tbh but it really did work wonders for him. He said he felt like a different person.

I passed on my 7th.

I told myself I'd go to 10 tests then give up.

On my 7th test I went in expecting to fail and then because I wasn't shaking with nerves I passed.

I'm so glad I kept going, definitely makes my life easier.

I stopped telling friends and family after the 3rd fail.

Good luck, hope you get there

Have you considered automatic? It’s so much easier
whatever you do don’t give up! Keep trying and even if it takes 10 attempts doesn’t matter

Hi there! I failed my first driving test this morning too. Now entering into the intricacies of cancellation test apps.

I did come close to passing. Just two faults, one serious. Studying the area for hours via Google maps, watching test route videos and repeatedly rehearsing test routes helps. Practice practice practice.

Re test apps, I've signed up for 3 at the same time. Not sure if that's wise or not. So far, Driving Test Now has brought forward my next test by one day.

I failed 5, passed on my sixth.

I think what helped was:
Ativan from the GP (I'm not sure if you can get it in the UK?)
not telling ANYONE except people who I knew would be supportive (anyone who'd made even one snide comment was not told). With those I told, I made a joke of it - like, how many majors do you bet it'll be this time?
being so convinced I'd fail that I actually booked my next couple of lessons before it
getting a supportive person to drive me there and to sit waiting for my test to finish (so that I could go to pieces in the privacy of their car instead of in public)

As it happened, I passed. Still don't know how! But don't give up - nearly there, you just need to prove yourself ONCE and then the licence is yours

For me the real pressure is the long wait for another test. If we could take one a month it'd feel like nothing at all.

I passed after loads of attempts.
What helped were a hypnotherapy download (I think it was about £20 so not massive but it was 15 years ago so I can’t remember what it was), the right instructor and taking my test after moving to a place where the other drivers were more chilled (rural Yorkshire compared to Essex and a Midlands city). I think getting older helped too. As I have got older I have got better at rolling my eyes at impatient and aggressive drivers rather than getting upset and stressed by them.
You can do it. Be honest with yourself about what is stopping you and come up with a plan to overcome it. My instructor laughed at me when I told him about the hypnotherapy tape but he had said the problem was in my head so I decided I needed a solution that was in my head too.

You don't mention in your OP if you are driving manual or automatic. I would definitely recommend (if you haven't already) switching to automatic, it's soo much easier.

I tried learning a few years ago and did a bunch of lessons but was never confident. Gave up and left it for a while but recently have realised I needed to just get over it and get my licence so I've started automatic lessons, it's a piece of piss compared to manual. You can focus on the road and other drivers rather than if you are going to cut out or not.

You can already drive, you say. It's the nerves that is the issue.

So, stop hiring your instructor. Use your boyfriends car. That's a lot of money going down the drain.

If you need to pull over or pause your test, do it. I was shaking so badly I thought I'd have an accident on all of my tests.

Breathe deeply. Whatever you do, don't tell yourself that you've failed while still on the test. Press on, even when you think you've made a mistake. You may well be surprised when you pass.

And most of all stop telling people about tests. The most annoying thing ever is people asking whether you passed when you're clearly >☹️ Do not tell them that it's booked. Tell them only when you pass.

Best of luck. All this test business is a PITA

Dont give up, you can & will get there.

Would you try some positive affirmations to tryvand visualise yourself calmly passing the test.

Definitely check the stats for your test centre. I failed thrice in Brighton and passed first time in Hove. Also rescue remedy for confidence

Switch to an automatic if you haven't already.

I was extremely nervous during my driving test as well , I passed on the 7th test.
It doesn't get any easier nerves wise as the pressure gets more with each test. I remember at one point my, leg was involuntarily moving up and down with nerves, it hasn't ever done that since. Keep on going , you will pass and it will have been worth it .
I'm so glad I didn't give up as I couldn't imagine not driving now. Also I would advise not telling anyone you're doing the test until you actually pass it. It's hard enough without having to tell people you have failed.

I know multiple people that took longer to pass. Took me 3 attempts, I have friends that took 9 and 12.

I would be wary of stronger medication, you'll be operating a car! Do you need to pass quickly? Maybe take a break from driving and spend some time on your anxiety before going back to it? It sounds like lessons aren't the problem, it's the test.

What are you going to drive when you pass? Could you buy a small, cheap car and practice in that. Tackling your nerves and practice, practice, practice is key.

to get a faster test i used this guy who found me one at one of mt 3 chosen test centres. It cost over £150 but i passed !!!!

if you his number I will gladly share

my daughter passed on her 7th test

don't give up!

Don’t give up. I gave up ten years ago after my fourth go. I regret it now and thinking of trying again

Ah love, I was also on Polyproponol and Citalopram for this one fact reason. Never, ever have I been anxious (and I MEAN anxious) about anything before. I take everything in my stride except this. I passed my test when I was 37. It took me 20 years. I was and am a good driver, I was safe and skilled but my god I could barely breathe when was with an examiner. I passed on my 3rd go and I believe it was simply because I liked the examiner straight away and she chatted like an old friend. I passed with no minors. I won't tell you to relax but I will say, that the way people like us build it up in our heads isn't necessary and all I can tell you is that it will, eventually, come good.

You are 100% worth spending money and time on. You have every right to learn to drive and your family are mean for laughing at you. In fact it sounds like you're amazing to keep taking tests even though it's hard for you. Lots of people would have given up, but you're determined and facing your anxiety head on every time. Hats off to you! I bet your laughing family members haven't shown that level of determination in anything.

It also sounds like you're a good little driver but struggle with the test conditions. I talked to myself during my test, little reminders etc, was a kind of nervous outlet. Sounds like you need some more help than just that, so definitely see your GP, but maybe chatting to yourself as you drive might be helpful.