Failed driving test 6 times

[crybaby22]

Hello,

just hoping for a bit of advice.

I failed my 6th driving test this morning. All tests have been different things, but what it all comes down to is nerves. Today even the examiner said he could see how nervous I was and told me to speak to the doctor. Problem is, I’m already on propranolol for it. Have been using Kalms too.

My instructor is lovely but can tell he is getting frustrated as he keeps saying about how I’m a good driver, it’s as soon as the test happens I fall to pieces. Was the same with exams at school and university.

it’s part of a wider problem, I generally have no self esteem, no faith in myself, and I’m starting to realise how bad it actually is. My family all laugh at me for the other 5 failed tests so dreading them finding out, and my boyfriend actually paid for this test and the time for the instructors car today, so he’s moaning about the cost.

I can’t keep having lessons as too expensive at £70 for a double lesson each week. An Arnold park dual hire place is about 30 mins drive away but a bit of a pain trying to get someone to watch the kids while we go as don’t live near family. The only pal near me also doesn’t drive so can’t practice in her car. Boyfriend has a van for work so not practicing in his. Feeling very lost with it.

how do I go about rebuilding this? I’ve looked up hypnotherapy online but that’s going to be the same price as the lessons. Debating just putting a block booking of lessons on the credit card but don’t want to rack up debt (don’t have any savings). Going to call my GP tomorrow and see if they have anything stronger they can give me.

I went to counselling a few years ago to help with some other bits, but can’t afford to go back and don’t see the GP referring me for failing my driving test!

just really fed up, makes me feel so worthless. If anyone has anything that can help then please send on to me. Totally lost.

thanks

The only people that don’t pass are the ones that give up.

I’ve been driving nearly 15 years including driving for a living at one point. Only ever made 1 insurance claim for a car park dent and never had points.

it took me 7 attempts to get there but I did it as I was the worlds most nervous driver when it came to tests. I managed to fail one test with no faults apart from a dangerous because I panicked. I’m also a bit rubbish at parking. I can get into tight spots if needed though now but couldn’t when I passsd.

Take a deep breath, get a cancellation booked and remember if it doesn’t go well, just take it again.

Hi op,

I was exactly the same as you, was all nerves on test day but on lessons absolutely fine. I remember before the test, I'd be sat on the floor crying and shaking with nerves.

It took me five attempts to finally pass. What finally did it for me was my instructor suggesting we book it and not tell me when it was. So my mum booked and paid for it. Let my manager know so to expect me in later than planned that day. And then we ended every lesson at the test centre to practice bay parking, until one day a few weeks later I parked the car and my instructor said, out you pop your test is in 10 mins! I didn't have time to panic or build it up, and I managed to pass with 3 minors.

Good luck! Don't give up.

I've never told anyone how many attempts I had at the driving test. After a certain point it becomes a barrier to passing imo. Anyway it's no one's business!

I had beta blockers in the end. I had a test In which I wept buckets the whole way through - reverse parking through a veil of tears is no joke - and the poor examiner was a broken man at the end of it. He probably still has nightmares. He said at the end he thought I ought to see the GP. She was very brisk and gave me enough drugs to fell a race horse. Worked like a charm.

No joke, OP, I've got kids and a couple of degrees and a memory of a beautiful wedding day and nothing, literally nothing, comes close to the pride I felt at passing that fucking test. Best day ever!

I failed it 4 times. Eventually passed. Anti anxiety meds got me through!

I took 5 goes at passing. I stopped telling people after my second fail.

Rescue remedy is what got me my pass. I used far more than is suggested and I swear I was tipsy , I didn't know it was brandy. (I wasn't actually tipsy)

I was the exact same 5 years ago!! I failed 6 times and passed on my 7th. I know a lady who passed on her 13th.

i had no confidence or anything in me or my ability to drive. I in the end got my own car and began practicing with family everyday.. then we began doing lessons and tests in my own car.

my driving instructor said to me “ I don’t know what more I can do with you because we know you can do it it’s just pulling it all together” so we stopped doing weekly lessons essentially until tests came up and I just drove round in my own car and that’s just how I did it.

i don’t know if it helped because I was still a nervous driver. It’s not an option for everyone either!!

but good luck and don’t ever give up!!

Passed on my 8th after an unexpected event changed my mindset.

I had piano pupils who used to fall apart in exams. Something that helped was having "mock exams" with as many people as possible, regardless of if they knew about music!

So maybe you could ask a variety of people you know to give you a mock exam. They tell you where to drive, ask you questions, sit there with a clipboard and pencil. It's not so they can actually give you feedback. It's so that you can practise being in an exam.

The more stressed they'd make you feel, the better. Your boss, your most critical or infuriating relations, friend's partners who you don't know so well, etc.

I have thought about your post for a while. You ARE a good driver, your instructor would not have told you that if you were not. They would not put you in for a test if you were not. I think you are brilliant for keeping going, please don't give up, your life will be loads better if you just pass. You just suffer from nerves due to the situation and then it all goes to pieces a bit - it happens to the best of us. I think OPs have made great suggestions iro of the nerves and maybe try these but for what it is worth

• go automatic. I have got an automatic now and I love it. You won't ever need a manual car (all hire car companies have automatics) it does leave your mind clear to concentrate on driving rather than anything tricky (gears, hill starts all the rest) - I realise you probably have to do a point turn, parking and the likes, but it is so much easier regardless
• Don't tell anyone (unless very very supportive) and I agree a bit about short turnaround - then it is shit or bust, and if it's bust, then it's bust, but other than the money (and I realise this is a thing, but you tend to "get it back" over the long term anyway in convenience, taxi fares etc.) who else is suffering if you don't pass - err, actually, nobody.
• Go to different area for test ( I too have heard that they vary )

Good luck, wishing you the best xx

Your family laughed at you for failing so many times? That is really horrid of them. No wonder you have low self esteem when the people who are supposed to love and support you are the ones making fun of you when you need their kindness the most.

I'm so sorry your family are gits

I passed on my 7th attempt if that makes you feel better! Similarly, it was different things each time and mostly nerves. The one attempt I tried Kalms I still failed.

Even the one I passed I was so nervous still and was convinced I failed so couldn't believe it when the examiner said I passed ( he was actually a fairly unpleasant man on that occasion so I was amazed). I remember already sobbing before the end as was sure I had failed again. So don't give up, it can be done x

It took me five tests over 6 months to pass, it wasn't that I couldn't drive, I just needed practice. I bought my own car & my dad took me out for 2 or 3 hours every weekend in all weather's & conditions, he also met me from work & I drove in rush hour traffic. I soon got my confidence & passed.

I passed on my 3rd attempt. First two I was a nervous wreck. The day before my 3rd I found out my brother in his early 20s had a very serious cancer diagnosis.

I went ahead with the test as it was paid for, for practise with no expectation of passing as head was all over the place. As I didnt care about the outcome, perhaps because i had a valid excuse for failing, I was relaxed about it and passed with no faults.

Can you work out what makes you so anxious and remove/reduce it. Would it help if you did it in secret and noone would know if you failed? Would it help if your instructor accompanied you? (this used to be allowed, they are not allowed to say anything)

(Brother was ok eventually, but took 12 years and 4 lots of chemo/remission/reocurrance, we were twice told to be prepared to lose him, and finally a bone marrow transplant)

The best drivers are the ones who don't pass first .... I didnt anyway 😏

Keep going OP, you can do it.

put in for a cancellation, don’t tell anyone you about the test, especially if family aren’t being supportive. If you pass great, if you don’t nobody needs to know.

I think you will pass next time, you know the route, and what to expect from the test. Try not to show you are nervous, examiners like to see a confident driver.

good luck.

Don’t go automatic, that won’t help with nerves, and it limits the cars you can buy/hire/borrow, which is far more of a ballache than you’d think.

I failed five, passed on the sixth and what helped me was not telling anyone when my test was, and going in with a “so what if I fail” attitude. Got just 1 minor. Also worth doing what others have said and trying a different test centre.

Dd passed automatic only, she’s dyspraxic and can’t cope with manual. It hasn’t limited her. Cars are going automatic as I believe electric cars are only automatic. Manual will be dying off.

It took me 10 goes. The problem was anxiety, and the only thing that dulled it was racking up the hours behind the wheel and getting comfortable. Lessons were not enough time for me, I needed hours in a private car with a family member. No way could I have afforded that much time with an instructor.

I failed first time due to a combination of nerves and the examiners just having been blasted for passing young drivers too easily (had been too many serious newly licenced driver accidents).

The second time I just told myself 'I know what to expect. I'll do my best, concentrate on each manoeuvre and not think about passing or failing. If I fail, I'll concentrate on what I need to improve and try again'. I also didn't tell anyone I was going.

I was much calmer and passed. I screwed a bunch of things up but because I was calm & corrected mistakes I think the (same) examiner was more confident.

Been driving for 25 years now. Never had an at fault accident.

i passed in double figures..nerves as well (i don't tend to get them in exams - or rather they just manifest physically - so practical exams of any kind are horrific)
I had to practice so much that even with the nerves meaning that maybe i was driving at 60 per cent my capability I still passed.
I also think for some reason on my final test I was more relaxed- i was going on holiday the next day and had not built up the test in anyway - it was more something to get through and fail before my holiday

You could try in automatic just to reduce some of the things that could go wrong ?

I passed on my 6th or 7th go, can’t remember now!

just keep going, you’ll get there in the end i promise!

Just keep taking your test, you will pass eventually. You'll go to a test expecting to fail and this will relax you enough to actually pass.

Thanks everyone, I’ve taken the time to read through these and you’ve all been lovely and supportive. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one. I don’t know anyone personally who’s had more than 2 attempts at a driving test so it’s definitely been a wound. However yes I need to speak to bf about maybe trying to find a banger to drive around in, even though I’m sure that’ll be painful to pay for that and insurance upfront! X

Trying a different exam centre might be a good idea. My mother was very nervous but had a very unpleasant examiner at our local one and failed several times. She only passed when he went on holiday and she got a substitute examiner. Afterwards he said to her that he could see she was nervous and actually sang quietly to her to relax her!

This was me- I would physically shake during tests. I failed 4 and my driving instructor gave up on me through frustration as he didn't want to take my money any more, I could drive perfectly in lessons.

I realised that the pressure of pleasing my driving instructor (and friends/family) made my anxiety much worse so I booked a test at a random test centre miles away, booked a local instructor from that area in for that test only, told no one what I was doing and went and passed with only 1 minor. That was my 5th time.

You can do this! The feeling you'll get when you pass is so worth it. Don't give up x

Who would be supervising you? I think it needs to be someone over a certain years of driving and/or age.

If you know someone with a car, and willing to supervise you, you can get learner driver temporary insurance for their car for an hour much cheaper than a lesson. Try companies such as Veygo. It was only something like £7/hr a couple of years ago for ds in my car or you can insure for a few weeks at a time.

Insurance get more expensive when you pass.