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Relatives have destroyed/stolen my grandmas stamp collection worth thousands

110 replies

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 08:28

I'm just posting this as if I don't get this out somewhere and come to ter,s with it I'm going to get ill with the injustice and frustration

Basically my beloved grandma brought me up as one of her own which made an uncle very jealous.

I've also been nc with my mother for over 20 years as she is a spiteful, mean woman with no maternal bone in her body
I have a younger brother who is an addict , now 41, toothless, straggly long hair, wears women's clothing and publicly identified himself on fb as a drug dealer who I'm also nc with

My Nan was a stamp collector from being around 12 years old . Her collection was impressive and carefully cataloged into expensive albums in three categories, new world, Asia and Europe.

By the time she died in 2004 the collection was huge and rare, and worth around 200,000 k

The day after she died my aunt, who is basically like my sister , caught my mother and her brother loading the stamp albums into their cars
She asked what was going on and my mother said we're getting them valued and selling them. My aunt tried to stop them and ,y mother hit her. Finished taking the albums (there were around 150) and drove away

Up until then my aunt had stayed in contact with my mums brother (her step brother) and he backpedaled saying the. COllection was at his for safe keeping . He died a couple of weeks ago so my aunt and her brother (my other uncle who I was brought up with ) asked if ,y cousin (mean uncles dd) could use me as a go between and could she take the collection to me .

Well
She turned up yesterday at my house , we had a lovely catch up and went for lunch. She then said let's empty the albums from the car

What she brought is my nans 'stock books" , basically tatty a4 ring indeed with scraps in. Not a single proper album. I asked her where the actual albums were and she said as far as she knew this was the collection! I said no it isn't , these are her working stock books , and explained there were approx 150 pristine Stanley gibbons albums with entire collections in, and they were categorised into 3 sections, new world, Europe and Asia

She said she didn't know anything about them and that's all she had found at her dad's address

I have cried and cried , not because of the value , but because that was her life's work, her pride and joy , and they've gone and destroyed it, carved it up and sold it.

Oisin turned up in a brand new expensive car, said oh yes dad had 100k just in cash , and he's obviously left her his house too

That cash , that cash I suspect is my nans stamp collection. She had clear instructions for who got what but no will .

It's not the money, it's the way they've piled in like vultures and torn her life's work apart for their own gain and not even considered me, ,y aunt or uncle who were also her children.

My mother hadn't even seen my Nan since the 1980s .

I'm eaten up inside . I'm sat looking at these tatty stock books , and yes her hand writing is in them so I'll keep them although there's 40 stock books and where the hell I'll store them I don't know . Attic probably.

I'm just so sad . Her beautiful stamps are gone .

OP posts:
BingoandBlueyForever · 11/09/2023 08:31

Sorry this has happened to you.
The stamps might be less valuable than they were in 2004. I don’t think so many people are interested in collecting them now, so prices have likely fallen significantly. That doesn’t help with the sentimental value I know.

Jackydaytona · 11/09/2023 08:34

A lesson to be learned : make a will

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 08:37

Jackydaytona · 11/09/2023 08:34

A lesson to be learned : make a will

Thanks for that Stirling bIt of advice but I don't think she expected to die ! It was a sudden illness.

OP posts:
kerrywhatKERRYWHAAAT · 11/09/2023 08:42

Jackydaytona's response was a bit blunt but she's right. Anyone who has children or family members they intend to leave things, should make a will as soon as possible.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

User562377 · 11/09/2023 08:43

I'm sorry. That's awful behaviour. Your poor nan. Frame one or two of the pages with her writing on and put them somewhere lovely. I've got some of my grandpa's coins in their little cardboard holders with his writing.

We sold his coin collection at auction because no-one in the family was interested. I cried when I saw them in the auction house in a box with all his writing on them. It's such a personal thing, someone's handwriting and all the things that gave them joy.

I'm sorry your relatives treated your nan's collection so badly. That would upset me so much too.

Oblomov23 · 11/09/2023 08:46

I'm so sorry. But you must have known this was going to happen. Why didn't you action it when you found out they'd taken them the day after she died.

TodayInahurry · 11/09/2023 08:47

Sadly this often happens when people die, the relations pile in to get anything they can before it is assessed for IHT. Everyone should have a will but this won’t stop people taking things

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 08:50

Oblomov23 · 11/09/2023 08:46

I'm so sorry. But you must have known this was going to happen. Why didn't you action it when you found out they'd taken them the day after she died.

What was I meant to do ? Officially I'm a her grandchild. Not even next of kin and I was living an hours drive away. I'd been to hospital day before when she died and my other aunt had just died in a car crash 4 weeks prior and I was sorting her stuff out and trying to clear her flat which was 2 hours drive away .

My aunt confronted her. Either who took them and he said he was keeping them safe!

OP posts:
fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 08:52

And yes when I rang my aunt last night to tell her she said a will would have made sod all difference because they went the day after she died , if there'd been a will they'd have taken them before it was read

OP posts:
fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 08:54

I was grieving terribly as ,y aunt who died was only 9 years older and we were really really close , then I lost Nan and I felt like an orphan. I was reeling .

All of us were apart from those to evil bastards

OP posts:
Helenloveslee4eva · 11/09/2023 08:54

how Horrible x
apart from anything that’s not legal…. They should have been valued for probate etc and likely would have an inheritance tax liability …..
so should you wish there may be a legal route. Though I guess proving they existed is the crux

Proudgypsy · 11/09/2023 08:56

That money will never bring them a days luck. You will see it happen and know the reason why.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 08:58

Yeah thank you I think I just have to swallow it and try and make peace with it somehow.

I think it's upset me more than my two "siblings " for some reason it's the disrespect they showed to something she loved so much

OP posts:
jenbj · 11/09/2023 09:00

I think you need to let it go. They clearly had huge sentimental value to you but not to your uncle. They should have formed part of her estate at the time and been divided between your uncle and his siblings and the likelihood is that some or all of the collection would have been sold. Sadly, much as you loved your grandmother, they weren't yours - without a will they wouldn't have been. It's a horrible situation but it's something that happened 20 years ago. Focus on the happy memories of your grandmother.

I have experience of a similar situation and I've had to let it go as it was eating away at me but I couldn't change it.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 09:02

They wouldn't have been sold

If they'd gone where they were meant to go none of us would have sold them.

OP posts:
jenbj · 11/09/2023 09:04

But how can you say where they were meant to go if there was no will? Legally they should have gone to your grandmother's children (assuming no surviving spouse).

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 09:06

jenbj · 11/09/2023 09:04

But how can you say where they were meant to go if there was no will? Legally they should have gone to your grandmother's children (assuming no surviving spouse).

She had clear instructions written down but no will

OP posts:
fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 09:09

It's the lying when my aunt asked my uncle where they were he said his house for safe keeping! Load of utter bullocks

No one had any respect left for him after that and none of us went to his funeral

I'm the only one in touch with his dd . The fa,ily was divided before but that sealed it ,

OP posts:
jenbj · 11/09/2023 09:10

You probably think I'm being harsh but I'm coming from a place of experience. Instructions written down are meaningless in law (unless signed, dated and witnessed as a will) and when it comes to something worth £200k very few people would observe them. Legally the estate should have gone through probate and the proceeds of the estate been divided between your mother and her siblings.

Seychal · 11/09/2023 09:12

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 08:52

And yes when I rang my aunt last night to tell her she said a will would have made sod all difference because they went the day after she died , if there'd been a will they'd have taken them before it was read

This is very true. Even without a Will it is still theft. There are rules for intestacy.

One small glimmer of hope. The collection will likely end up with other collectors who will truly appreciate it, albeit it may be broken down into smaller lots based on geographical region, period etc.

Brewdug · 11/09/2023 09:20

OP I think you may have used someone's real name in your first post, you may want to edit.

Sorry for what you're going through.

burnoutbabe · 11/09/2023 09:20

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 08:52

And yes when I rang my aunt last night to tell her she said a will would have made sod all difference because they went the day after she died , if there'd been a will they'd have taken them before it was read

That's untrue.

If there was no Will then the value or the stamps would still need to be assessed and each beneficiary gets their share -which with no will would be your mum and. Uncle. So actually it worked out okay.

With a will leaving stamps to x then anyone taking them could be sued for theft if not returned, by the executor. Costly though.

If the stamps were worth so much I assume probate sone and maybe iht due? If they lied about the stamp collection and avoided iht then there maybe sone criminal proceedings or civil due against whoever got probate or should have applied.

Damnloginpopup · 11/09/2023 09:22

Proudgypsy · 11/09/2023 08:56

That money will never bring them a days luck. You will see it happen and know the reason why.

What absolute bollocks! Cousin has a new car and the change from the £100k cash in the house! Pretty fucking lucky (for her) if you ask me. Uncle probably enjoyed the rest of the cash for the last 19 years too 🙄

I can feel your devastation OP and you have my sympathies. Her life's work and a collection gone with no recourse.

Gremlinsateit · 11/09/2023 09:37

Oh that’s so sad. What a loss. I hope it makes you feel a little better that you’re not alone - a family member simply threw out my relative’s entire stamp collection because it was too much bother. I hope that the stock books help you with happy memories of your grandmother.

fabmaccawhackythumbsaloft · 11/09/2023 09:42

Burnout and

But there are 5 siblings in total then me

The only tow that got the benefit are my mother and her brother

They didn't even tell the others they had sold them

And they weren't meant to be sold , my. A. Was always trying to get our kids interested in stamp collecting and my son had a small collection before he moved abroad , they were meant to stay in the family

OP posts: